ADVICE NEEDED RE.SUPERVISED CONTACT

[anon0381]

I have supervised contact two 1hour sessions a week with my son due to bail conditions to prevent us speaking about a investigation...when I take a interest in my son's life by asking how his meeting with a advocate went the previous day, I was told I was speaking out of term and to stop the conversation, when it's clear through previous contact reports that we spoke about this before...my son is 13year old and questioned the person supervising how I had caused him emotional abuse and he was clearly having difficulty understanding...he wants answers to understand things and that is why after 9weeks of requesting a advocate he has finally been appointed one...well the contact clearly distressed my son he is afraid to speak to anybody or question things thinking they will ring police and get him arrested and pointed out to superviser he thinks she will get him arrested and refused and was afraid to speak...I am very concerned what this have done to my son emotionally...any ideas what I should do to deal with this...also coincedental I formed a complaint reguarding initial child protection conference and appeal against the lies told by everyone and can prove with evidence...I do feel that it's clear from my actions that I will not take this lying down and it's bein held against me because they like to make the rules up as they go along but thanks to info on this group, it's now a case of them following guidlines as opposed to making it up as they g o along...thanks In advance

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear anon0381,

Welcome back to the Parents Forum,

I am glad that your son has access to an advocate and I am sorry that it has taken so long for him to be appointed one. The advocate should be able to help him understand the legal process.

You do not say whether your son is living at home with his other parent or a “looked after child” either “accommodated” or under an court order in the care of the local authority. The law governing a parent’s contact differs slightly depending on where your son is living.

However, I can advise generally about supervised contact.

If contact is not in the welfare of your son then a decision to suspend it may happen. So always put your son’s welfare at the heart of contact.
What’s best for him? How can he be happy on contact?
Contact is a time to for your son to see you and enjoy that session.

The contact supervisor will be making notes about the contact sessions and these will be sent to the social worker.
As there are outstanding possible criminal proceedings, the police and children’s services will want to ensure that your son’s evidence is not influenced in any way.

I would have expected children services to have set out the boundaries about what cannot be talked about at contact. You should have been advised that any questions about the court proceedings and about his advocate are out of bounds before. You could ask that they make this clear by putting it in writing.

The fact that the contact supervisor had to intervene has clearly upset your son. If you had known you would not have asked about his advocate but you were just trying to meet your sons need for advice and support.
Can you take this up with his social worker? Ask that you are advised what you cannot talk about. Can s/he also speak to your son about this as well?


While your complaint against the child protection plan is being investigated, it is important that you still cooperate with the child protection plan. So go to the core group meeting, liaise with the social worker and carry out any of the plan that related to you. You need to be able to show that you can still work with professionals and put your son’s needs first.

Page 29 onwards of the child protection procedures advice sheet deals with challenging decisions made during the child protection process.

I hope this advice helps but please post back.

Best wishes,

Suzie

[anon0381]

Thanks for your reply and sorry for he delay getting back to you...my son is with his maternal grandmother ... Thanks for advice only concern is that the supervisor of the visit was also involved in the conversation it was when my son questioned her, asking how I had caused emotional abuse and asked her to define the meaning to him, she tried explaining there's different ways of causing this harm and my son was appauled I was being portrayed as somebody who was that kind of person and replied in saying it's the authority who have caused him this harm and if I was that kind of mother he certainly wouldn't want to go home...this was something that was also inappropriate to speak about. When defining emotional harm he didn't want a specific reason as to how I'd caused this because he's aware the investigation isn't to be spoken about, so I didn't think it was inappropriate he deserves his questions answered, he was invited to conference but I didn't think he should go so stopped him going as the reason for conference written on report was something we didn't know about, certainly not arrested or questioned about. I was told to attend council offices 30mins prior to closing, day before conference was held and given the report in a sealed envelope to read when I got home...when I was home and read this report I was left in a position where I couldn't challenge the "reason for conference" section on report...first I had heard about this was when I read it and at conference while my solicitor and myself had a brief with the chair prior to conference, I raised these concerns also solicitor raised concerns of police presence throughout conference and I requested them not to be present throughout as it would be unfair, I couldn't raise these issues and was advised not to speak about investigation with police present...chair left them in conference throughout leaving me unable to say a lot...had the cheek to write in conference minutes "I didn't really defend or say much" which is unfair I think you would agree.. Thanks Suzie x

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear anon0381

Welcome back to the parents' board.

In respect of any concerns you may have about whether you have acted appropriately during contact you would be advised to make a note of any issues after the contact session. You may want to request a meeting with the social worker to discuss your concerns. if you have a specific issue that cannot wait during contact, it would be advisable to approach the manager of the contact supervisors/ centre immediately following the session. In this way, you can focus your time on ensuring you have a child focussed quality interaction with your son.

Secondly, you raise an important point about the role of police involvement in the child protection conference process when there are simultaneous criminal proceedings. At the Initial Child Protection Conference a police representative of the CAIT (Child Abuse Investigation Team) would have attended the meeting. It should have been explained to you in advance about what are, if any, implications in respect of the separate police matter should further evidence come to light during the meeting.

Under the circumstances, can I suggest you speak to your solicitor who can take up your concerns directly with the head of service responsible for the social work team working with you.

I hope this helps.

Best Wishes

Suzie

[anon0381]

Hi Suzie and sorry for the delay again!
With reguards to the police investigation, I can confirm this "reason for conference" report which stated this allegation, have not been a investigation and is of that -a allegation. This was not something that come to light after my arrest , it states in report it's what led to arrest..I have since met with chairperson and manager to my social worker and it seems that with other issues due to a real investigation which is why children's service got involved firstly, they are exploring different avenues as they do and say it's still irrelevant and that I am where I am!...even tho I have evidence supporting it never had been investigation in the form of a email from a sergeant from police station confirming this...my argument was that this was the information put to a panel in conference where all voted YES to place children on protection register and wouldn't agree that this false info contributed to panels decision and that either way I am where I am either way .. I hope that makes sense? X

[polly]

My child has been fostered long term and this went through on the 26th June 2015. I am living in a British coloney where there are no Data Protection Laws. There are no independan bodies I can go too to complain about the gastapo down here (Social Service or should I say social conditioning department?)

The reason my girl was put into care is simply because of a social worker (SW) used her position to benefit her career. Because I refused a Police check on my partner, who I might add had been in the presence of a social work assistant (who had assaulted my daughter in front of both me and my partner but we was never approached for a state, we also brought this incident up at the first Child Protection Conference was told to shut up by the Chairman (who I might add is a social worker from a military base) but not enough evidenece) who could of posed the question both in front of me and him and we would of complied with a police check but because the question was aked in a 'sneaky' way which I dont think is very professional, we made a complaint to the Director of Health & Social Services on the incident. We then gathered our own 'evidence' as we didn't think something was 'right' from the start. The only thing she has achieved is getting herself arrested questioned and I believe now she is going to be out the islands soon for (I believe as no-one has told me officially) assaulting me. and yes physical. They didn't charge her...not enough evidence.

But now the gastapo have got a full care order which I never opposed (I am always accused of not working with them always against them - so that's why I never opposed the care order) but in a small place such as this place of only 2500 residents and one newpaper...last week I had a lovely surprise waiting for me when reading the paper of a huge spread written by my child foster parent about fostering and the headline was @Nothing like getting a smile from a child' sorry my partners taken the paper into work and hasn't brought it back! But and this is another thing, my daughter is well known for her 'smiling' trust me all the police know hr everyone is watching her... but the social services thought it was a good idea to have this printed after they have just taken my daughter I told them yesterday in the LAC Review how insensitive and disgusting they were for letting this happen. I never blamed the foster parent. The responsibility is solely down to the gastapo.

There are 744 hours in a month I get to see her for one of those hours. I believe and did bring up in the meeting which however, was chaired by the head of the gastpo that there is a Parental Alienation Syndrome that is I believe is occurring with my daughter because of lack of contact I am getting with her. Since Christmas eve of last year I have had the grand total of 3 hours with her...and then they wonder why she is not sleeping...why she is saying I have left her.

I don't know what to do anymore...if anyone has any suggestions please help me...I am at my wits end.

On top of this I get constantly told by members of the public to get her away from the foster parents as they are no good. As I said before a lot of these people down here are related to eachother, in fact my daughter is the second cousin of her foster carer!!

The magistrate was under the impression that the gastapo was going to facilitate therapy but they gave me a proposed 'contract' yesterday from the therapy centre which wasn't on headed paper I believe that sthis has been messed with by their own hands.

one part reads as follows:
Social Services are in agreement with the following:

Termination of trial therapy if mothers behaviour indicates that she does not productively engage in a self-responsible therapeutic change process, and/or shows behaviour that indicates that she is not sufficiently taking care of herself during a potentially disturbing therapy process and/or displays seriously unacceptable / damaging behaviour towards others during that time.

This doesn't seem like anything I have come across in the past in going to see a CPN or any other program.

Am I being paranoid? Or do others think that the ss are trying to rail road me into something which is another form of me signing their 'working agreements'

Please anyone out there who can help me?