I am writing to provide a brief summary of my previous involvement with social services, along with my current situation, as I am seeking advice and support during my current pregnancy.
In 2016–2018, I was involved with social services following the birth of my daughter. At that time, I was placed in a mother and baby foster placement. Concerns were raised regarding my mental health and my ability to safely care for my child. These concerns included difficulties managing intrusive thoughts and emotional regulation, which led to worries about potential emotional harm.
Despite a period where care was returned to me, I experienced a significant mental health breakdown, and my daughter was subsequently removed from my care and later adopted following court proceedings.
Since that time, I have made substantial and sustained changes in my life. I have been consistently engaged in therapy for the past 4–5 years, including Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), which has significantly improved my understanding and management of my mental health. I now have effective coping strategies in place and am able to recognise early warning signs and seek support appropriately.
I currently have a stable home environment and a strong support network, including my long-term partner and close family members. I remain actively engaged in therapy and am fully committed to maintaining my mental wellbeing and providing a safe, stable, and nurturing environment for my baby.
I have recently discovered that I am pregnant and, although I have not yet had my first midwife appointment, I understand that my history may lead to social services involvement. I want to be fully transparent and proactive, and I am seeking guidance on how best to prepare and demonstrate the progress I have made.
I am committed to working openly and cooperatively with all professionals involved and to ensuring the best possible outcome for my baby.
Previous removal and new pregnancy advice
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Bluebirdy27
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2026 10:19 pm
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Winter25
- Posts: 309
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2025 12:05 pm
Re: Previous removal and new pregnancy advice
Hi Bluebirdy27,
First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy.
I also want to say that what you’ve written already shows something very important in that you are not in the same position you were in back in 2016–2018. You have had years of therapy, including DBT, you have insight into what went wrong before, and you are already thinking about how to be open and proactive now. That matters.
I’m going to be direct with you, because it is better to be prepared than blindsided. Because a previous child was removed and later adopted, social services are very likely to become involved during this pregnancy. A pre-birth assessment is likely. That does not automatically mean this baby will also be removed, but it does mean professionals will start from a position of caution and will want to see clear evidence of sustained change. This is where you will show that change.
The good news is that you already have the foundations of that evidence.
I would start putting together a folder now with anything that shows the difference between then and now. The most important thing in that folder would probably be a letter from your therapist confirming how long you have been engaged, the work you have done, the progress you have made, and how you now manage the exact issues that were central before, especially intrusive thoughts, emotional regulation, recognising warning signs, and seeking support early.
I would also write out a simple support plan for yourself. Not something dramatic, just something clear. Who is in your support network, what signs would tell you that you were struggling, what you would do if those signs appeared, and who would step in. That shows professionals you are not relying on hope or good intentions. You have a practical plan.
I also think it will help to prepare how you talk about the old case. This is important, because social workers will almost certainly go back over it.
The strongest position is usually calm ownership. Something along the lines of:
I was very unwell then, I was not able to safely meet my child’s needs, and I understand why professionals were concerned. Since then I have spent years in therapy, I understand my mental health far better, I know my warning signs, and I have built a stable support system so that history does not repeat itself.
This comes across much better than sounding either defensive or as though you expect them to simply forget the past.
Your partner matters here as well. They will want to know who he is, what he understands about your previous mental health difficulties, whether he knows your warning signs, and whether he could step in appropriately if you started to struggle. In other words, they will not just assess you as an individual. They will look at the safety of the whole parenting setup around this baby.
So my advice would be:
do not hide from the history,
do not wait passively for professionals to define you by the old case,
and do not just tell them you have changed, show them clearly and on paper.
Well done again and remember you have already done the hardest part, which is the actual work of changing your life. Now it is about making that visible in a way professionals cannot easily dismiss.
======
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser. I am a parent with lived experience of the family court system, offering strategic guidance. Always consult with a solicitor regarding ongoing safeguarding assessments.
First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy.
I also want to say that what you’ve written already shows something very important in that you are not in the same position you were in back in 2016–2018. You have had years of therapy, including DBT, you have insight into what went wrong before, and you are already thinking about how to be open and proactive now. That matters.
I’m going to be direct with you, because it is better to be prepared than blindsided. Because a previous child was removed and later adopted, social services are very likely to become involved during this pregnancy. A pre-birth assessment is likely. That does not automatically mean this baby will also be removed, but it does mean professionals will start from a position of caution and will want to see clear evidence of sustained change. This is where you will show that change.
The good news is that you already have the foundations of that evidence.
I would start putting together a folder now with anything that shows the difference between then and now. The most important thing in that folder would probably be a letter from your therapist confirming how long you have been engaged, the work you have done, the progress you have made, and how you now manage the exact issues that were central before, especially intrusive thoughts, emotional regulation, recognising warning signs, and seeking support early.
I would also write out a simple support plan for yourself. Not something dramatic, just something clear. Who is in your support network, what signs would tell you that you were struggling, what you would do if those signs appeared, and who would step in. That shows professionals you are not relying on hope or good intentions. You have a practical plan.
I also think it will help to prepare how you talk about the old case. This is important, because social workers will almost certainly go back over it.
The strongest position is usually calm ownership. Something along the lines of:
I was very unwell then, I was not able to safely meet my child’s needs, and I understand why professionals were concerned. Since then I have spent years in therapy, I understand my mental health far better, I know my warning signs, and I have built a stable support system so that history does not repeat itself.
This comes across much better than sounding either defensive or as though you expect them to simply forget the past.
Your partner matters here as well. They will want to know who he is, what he understands about your previous mental health difficulties, whether he knows your warning signs, and whether he could step in appropriately if you started to struggle. In other words, they will not just assess you as an individual. They will look at the safety of the whole parenting setup around this baby.
So my advice would be:
do not hide from the history,
do not wait passively for professionals to define you by the old case,
and do not just tell them you have changed, show them clearly and on paper.
Well done again and remember you have already done the hardest part, which is the actual work of changing your life. Now it is about making that visible in a way professionals cannot easily dismiss.
======
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser. I am a parent with lived experience of the family court system, offering strategic guidance. Always consult with a solicitor regarding ongoing safeguarding assessments.
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Bluebirdy27
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2026 10:19 pm
Re: Previous removal and new pregnancy advice
How do I inform social im pregnant? I spoke with my doctor today, she said she has no current concerns and has put perinatal mental health support in place, my therapist removed my diagnosis this year and believes im no risk. I spoke with an independent social worker who doesn’t see any concerns present but does advice i tell social asap
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Winter25
- Posts: 309
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2025 12:05 pm
Re: Previous removal and new pregnancy advice
Hi Bluebirdy27,
First of all, this is a really strong update.
A GP saying they have no current concerns, perinatal mental health already being put in place, your therapist having no current concerns, and an independent social worker also not seeing any present concerns are all exactly the kinds of things you want around you at the start of this pregnancy. That does not mean there will be no pre-birth assessment, but it does mean you are going into this from a much stronger position than last time.
In terms of telling social care, there are really two ways to do it.
The first is the standard route, which is to tell the midwife everything at your booking appointment and let the referral be made that way. There is nothing wrong with doing that. It is still open and honest, and you can frame it proactively by saying from the start that you understand your history may lead to pre-birth involvement and that you welcome that.
The second is to tell children’s services yourself in writing before the midwife referral happens. The advantage of that is that it gives you a clear paper trail showing that you were open from the outset and not hiding anything. It also lets you set the tone rather than waiting for someone else to summarise your history for you.
If it were me, I would probably do it in writing now, simply because your current evidence is so much stronger than it was in the past and there is no reason to let that be introduced late.
You do not need to write your whole life story in the first email. You just need to notify them, show transparency, and make clear that there are already professionals in place who can speak to your current stability.
Something like this would work:
----------
Subject: Pre-birth notification / request for early pre-birth involvement if required
Dear Duty and Assessment Team / MASH,
I am writing to proactively notify children’s services that I am currently pregnant.
I was previously involved with children’s services between 2016 and 2018, which resulted in my daughter being removed from my care during a period when I was experiencing significant mental health difficulties.
Since that time, I have made substantial and sustained changes in my life. I have been consistently engaged in therapy for the past 4–5 years, including DBT, and I remain actively involved in support for my mental wellbeing. I now have effective coping strategies in place, I understand my early warning signs, and I seek support appropriately.
I have a stable home, a strong support network, and both my GP and therapist are aware of my pregnancy. My GP has confirmed she has no current concerns and has already put perinatal mental health support in place. My therapist also has no current concerns about my mental health or risk.
I understand that due to my history there may need to be pre-birth involvement, and I want to approach that openly and cooperatively from the outset. Please let me know whether a referral will be progressed and who the appropriate contact will be.
Kind regards,
[Your full name]
[Date of birth]
[Address]
[Phone number]
----------------
Whichever route you choose, the next really important step is to get the professionals around you to put things in writing.
A short letter from your therapist confirming your long-term engagement, the progress made, and the fact they have no current concerns will carry real weight. A short GP letter confirming no current concerns and that perinatal support is in place would also be helpful. Those are the sorts of documents you want ready before social care even ask for them.
The one thing I would be slightly careful about is making the whole case about a diagnosis being removed. The stronger message is not just “the diagnosis is gone,” but “I have had years of treatment, I understand what went wrong before, I know my warning signs, I have support in place, and current professionals have no concerns.”
That is much harder for people to dismiss.
======
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser. I am a parent with lived experience of the family court system, offering strategic guidance. Always consult with a solicitor regarding ongoing safeguarding assessments.
First of all, this is a really strong update.
A GP saying they have no current concerns, perinatal mental health already being put in place, your therapist having no current concerns, and an independent social worker also not seeing any present concerns are all exactly the kinds of things you want around you at the start of this pregnancy. That does not mean there will be no pre-birth assessment, but it does mean you are going into this from a much stronger position than last time.
In terms of telling social care, there are really two ways to do it.
The first is the standard route, which is to tell the midwife everything at your booking appointment and let the referral be made that way. There is nothing wrong with doing that. It is still open and honest, and you can frame it proactively by saying from the start that you understand your history may lead to pre-birth involvement and that you welcome that.
The second is to tell children’s services yourself in writing before the midwife referral happens. The advantage of that is that it gives you a clear paper trail showing that you were open from the outset and not hiding anything. It also lets you set the tone rather than waiting for someone else to summarise your history for you.
If it were me, I would probably do it in writing now, simply because your current evidence is so much stronger than it was in the past and there is no reason to let that be introduced late.
You do not need to write your whole life story in the first email. You just need to notify them, show transparency, and make clear that there are already professionals in place who can speak to your current stability.
Something like this would work:
----------
Subject: Pre-birth notification / request for early pre-birth involvement if required
Dear Duty and Assessment Team / MASH,
I am writing to proactively notify children’s services that I am currently pregnant.
I was previously involved with children’s services between 2016 and 2018, which resulted in my daughter being removed from my care during a period when I was experiencing significant mental health difficulties.
Since that time, I have made substantial and sustained changes in my life. I have been consistently engaged in therapy for the past 4–5 years, including DBT, and I remain actively involved in support for my mental wellbeing. I now have effective coping strategies in place, I understand my early warning signs, and I seek support appropriately.
I have a stable home, a strong support network, and both my GP and therapist are aware of my pregnancy. My GP has confirmed she has no current concerns and has already put perinatal mental health support in place. My therapist also has no current concerns about my mental health or risk.
I understand that due to my history there may need to be pre-birth involvement, and I want to approach that openly and cooperatively from the outset. Please let me know whether a referral will be progressed and who the appropriate contact will be.
Kind regards,
[Your full name]
[Date of birth]
[Address]
[Phone number]
----------------
Whichever route you choose, the next really important step is to get the professionals around you to put things in writing.
A short letter from your therapist confirming your long-term engagement, the progress made, and the fact they have no current concerns will carry real weight. A short GP letter confirming no current concerns and that perinatal support is in place would also be helpful. Those are the sorts of documents you want ready before social care even ask for them.
The one thing I would be slightly careful about is making the whole case about a diagnosis being removed. The stronger message is not just “the diagnosis is gone,” but “I have had years of treatment, I understand what went wrong before, I know my warning signs, I have support in place, and current professionals have no concerns.”
That is much harder for people to dismiss.
======
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser. I am a parent with lived experience of the family court system, offering strategic guidance. Always consult with a solicitor regarding ongoing safeguarding assessments.
-
Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4970
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:57 pm
Re: Previous removal and new pregnancy advice
Dear Bluebirdy27,
Welcome to the parents’ forum and thank you for your posts. My name is Suzie and I am the online adviser at Family Rights Group. I hope that the following advice and information is helpful for you. You can click on the hyperlinks in my post to take you to more information and advice on our website.
Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope that you are keeping well during these early days. I am sorry to hear that your first child was adopted after you were so unwell. It sounds like you have worked hard to address the issues that led to her adoption and it is really positive to hear how willing you are to work in partnership with children’s services so that you can provide a safe home for your baby.
You are already aware that children’s services will become involved during your pregnancy because of the previous involvement with your older child. Children’s services will want to complete a pre-birth assessment whilst you are pregnant. The assessment will aim to find out whether you and your partner will need extra support and whether the baby will be safe when they are born. Your partner should be included in this assessment. We have information on our website HERE specifically for fathers which he may find helpful.
We have more information HERE about pre-birth assessments, and it may be helpful for you to read this information HERE as it explains what you should expect from children’s services and what they should be doing to ensure good practice when carrying out the assessment and ensuring that it is of high quality.
We also have information HERE for parents-to-be which may be helpful for you.
You ask how you can let children’s services know that you are pregnant. As has been explained you can wait until your booking appointment (which is usually around week 8 of pregnancy) and ask the midwife to make a referral to children’s services. At this appointment the midwife should ask you whether there is any history of children’s services involvement so it is important to be totally honest (as you have said that you plan to be). If you prefer not to wait until your booking appointment then you can contact children’s services yourself and inform them that you are pregnant. You can do this by calling the main ‘front door’ number for your local children’s services. Search the name of your local authority/borough or county that you live in followed by ‘children’s services’ and you should find the contact number on the local authority’s website.
We have some top tips HERE for parents-to-be when a child has previously been removed which may be helpful for you.
We also have advice and information HERE for parents when children’s services are involved because of concerns about a parent’s mental health.
I hope that this is of some help. Please post again if you have any further queries or you can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm). We also have a webchat which is currently open on Monday and Thursday afternoons.
Best wishes,
Suzie
Welcome to the parents’ forum and thank you for your posts. My name is Suzie and I am the online adviser at Family Rights Group. I hope that the following advice and information is helpful for you. You can click on the hyperlinks in my post to take you to more information and advice on our website.
Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope that you are keeping well during these early days. I am sorry to hear that your first child was adopted after you were so unwell. It sounds like you have worked hard to address the issues that led to her adoption and it is really positive to hear how willing you are to work in partnership with children’s services so that you can provide a safe home for your baby.
You are already aware that children’s services will become involved during your pregnancy because of the previous involvement with your older child. Children’s services will want to complete a pre-birth assessment whilst you are pregnant. The assessment will aim to find out whether you and your partner will need extra support and whether the baby will be safe when they are born. Your partner should be included in this assessment. We have information on our website HERE specifically for fathers which he may find helpful.
We have more information HERE about pre-birth assessments, and it may be helpful for you to read this information HERE as it explains what you should expect from children’s services and what they should be doing to ensure good practice when carrying out the assessment and ensuring that it is of high quality.
We also have information HERE for parents-to-be which may be helpful for you.
You ask how you can let children’s services know that you are pregnant. As has been explained you can wait until your booking appointment (which is usually around week 8 of pregnancy) and ask the midwife to make a referral to children’s services. At this appointment the midwife should ask you whether there is any history of children’s services involvement so it is important to be totally honest (as you have said that you plan to be). If you prefer not to wait until your booking appointment then you can contact children’s services yourself and inform them that you are pregnant. You can do this by calling the main ‘front door’ number for your local children’s services. Search the name of your local authority/borough or county that you live in followed by ‘children’s services’ and you should find the contact number on the local authority’s website.
We have some top tips HERE for parents-to-be when a child has previously been removed which may be helpful for you.
We also have advice and information HERE for parents when children’s services are involved because of concerns about a parent’s mental health.
I hope that this is of some help. Please post again if you have any further queries or you can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm). We also have a webchat which is currently open on Monday and Thursday afternoons.
Best wishes,
Suzie
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Bluebirdy27
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2026 10:19 pm
Re: Previous removal and new pregnancy advice
Susie how do I word the email
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Winter25
- Posts: 309
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2025 12:05 pm
Re: Previous removal and new pregnancy advice
Bluebirdy27,
I have provided a full, word-for-word template for you in my post from March 23rd. You can use that to send. I have Many years of dealings with the LA and courts.
Suzie is an official advisor. They will not be able to ghost-write your personal emails. That is why I put one already for you, to help you.
=======
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser. I am a parent with lived experience of the family court system, offering strategic guidance. Always consult with a solicitor regarding ongoing safeguarding assessments.
I have provided a full, word-for-word template for you in my post from March 23rd. You can use that to send. I have Many years of dealings with the LA and courts.
Suzie is an official advisor. They will not be able to ghost-write your personal emails. That is why I put one already for you, to help you.
=======
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser. I am a parent with lived experience of the family court system, offering strategic guidance. Always consult with a solicitor regarding ongoing safeguarding assessments.
-
Bluebirdy27
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2026 10:19 pm
Re: Previous removal and new pregnancy advice
Hi winter
What if I got the concerns wrong? Im scared im gonna screw it up. I really can’t go through losing another baby. I understand why I lost my daughter, I was not ready, I was 16 i couldnt cope, I didn’t no what I no now. But now im ready, now I want this, im in a better relationship, I no how to handle my mental health. Im scared they’re just gonna go off like before my childhood etc etc. but in the psychology assessment they recommended 12_24 months DBT, I’ve done 48 months of EMDR then DBT then full programs DBT and im still in it now. I’ve dealt with my trauma from childhood, from social, my intrusive thoughts etc. I no I need to email them but I’m scared to. When would they get involved if I emailed today? Because I still have to redecorate my flat and lay new carpets etc? If they come out tomorrow I’d reckon they could use it against me?
What if I got the concerns wrong? Im scared im gonna screw it up. I really can’t go through losing another baby. I understand why I lost my daughter, I was not ready, I was 16 i couldnt cope, I didn’t no what I no now. But now im ready, now I want this, im in a better relationship, I no how to handle my mental health. Im scared they’re just gonna go off like before my childhood etc etc. but in the psychology assessment they recommended 12_24 months DBT, I’ve done 48 months of EMDR then DBT then full programs DBT and im still in it now. I’ve dealt with my trauma from childhood, from social, my intrusive thoughts etc. I no I need to email them but I’m scared to. When would they get involved if I emailed today? Because I still have to redecorate my flat and lay new carpets etc? If they come out tomorrow I’d reckon they could use it against me?
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Winter25
- Posts: 309
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2025 12:05 pm
Re: Previous removal and new pregnancy advice
Hi Bluebirdy27,
I do understand that, and that fear is the most natural thing in the world when you’ve been through what you’ve been through. But you need to realize that the "you" from 2016 is not the "you" sitting here today. A sixteen-year-old in a breakdown is worlds away from a woman who has put in 48 months of intense DBT and EMDR. That therapy is your main defence here. Most people never do that level of work, and the fact that you’re still in it shows "sustained change," which is exactly what the court and social services look for.
Regarding the "getting the concerns wrong" part, that’s exactly why I wrote that template for you. It’s designed so you don't have to guess. It frames your past as a medical issue that you have now mastered. You don't need to be a legal expert but you just need to show you have "insight." By sending that email, you are taking the power away from them to "find out" later. In their eyes, a parent who hides is a parent who is still at risk. A parent who self-refers is a parent who is protective.
As for the flat and the carpet, relax. Social workers are not interior designers. They aren't going to walk in, see a bare floor or a half-painted wall, and take your baby. In fact, if they see you are mid-redecoration, it actually counts as a positive as it shows you are "nesting" and preparing for the baby's arrival. It proves you have a stable home and you’re making it ready. They would much rather see a flat being improved than a flat that is dirty or unsafe. Dirty is not messy or redecorating its hygiene
If you email them today, It usually takes a few days, or even a week or two, for a referral to be processed and for a social worker to be assigned just to have an initial chat. You have plenty of time to get your carpets down if you want to. The most important thing is that the "paper trail" shows you told them first.
Stop overthinking the paint and the carpets, and focus on the fact that you have four years of therapy proof in your pocket. That is what wins cases, not a perfect living room. Use the wording I gave you and get it over with so you can actually start enjoying this pregnancy.
==========
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser. I am a parent with lived experience of the family court system, offering strategic guidance. Always consult with a solicitor regarding ongoing safeguarding assessments.
I do understand that, and that fear is the most natural thing in the world when you’ve been through what you’ve been through. But you need to realize that the "you" from 2016 is not the "you" sitting here today. A sixteen-year-old in a breakdown is worlds away from a woman who has put in 48 months of intense DBT and EMDR. That therapy is your main defence here. Most people never do that level of work, and the fact that you’re still in it shows "sustained change," which is exactly what the court and social services look for.
Regarding the "getting the concerns wrong" part, that’s exactly why I wrote that template for you. It’s designed so you don't have to guess. It frames your past as a medical issue that you have now mastered. You don't need to be a legal expert but you just need to show you have "insight." By sending that email, you are taking the power away from them to "find out" later. In their eyes, a parent who hides is a parent who is still at risk. A parent who self-refers is a parent who is protective.
As for the flat and the carpet, relax. Social workers are not interior designers. They aren't going to walk in, see a bare floor or a half-painted wall, and take your baby. In fact, if they see you are mid-redecoration, it actually counts as a positive as it shows you are "nesting" and preparing for the baby's arrival. It proves you have a stable home and you’re making it ready. They would much rather see a flat being improved than a flat that is dirty or unsafe. Dirty is not messy or redecorating its hygiene
If you email them today, It usually takes a few days, or even a week or two, for a referral to be processed and for a social worker to be assigned just to have an initial chat. You have plenty of time to get your carpets down if you want to. The most important thing is that the "paper trail" shows you told them first.
Stop overthinking the paint and the carpets, and focus on the fact that you have four years of therapy proof in your pocket. That is what wins cases, not a perfect living room. Use the wording I gave you and get it over with so you can actually start enjoying this pregnancy.
==========
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser. I am a parent with lived experience of the family court system, offering strategic guidance. Always consult with a solicitor regarding ongoing safeguarding assessments.
-
Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4970
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:57 pm
Re: Previous removal and new pregnancy advice
Dear Bluebirdy27
Thank you for your post. I understand this is a difficult and anxiety provoking situation for you. It is likely that you will be triggered by your past experiences and that they impact on your situation now. This is not unusual and often happens when we attempt to process and manage difficult and complex thoughts and feelings.
As a grounding exercise, I suggest you go back and re read your original post to the forum. Your post highlights the substantial and sustained changes you have made since your child was adopted. The post sets out the positive aspects of your current situation, of the hard work, effort and commitment you have put in place to make the changes you needed and wanted to make. Please do no lose sight of these.
Whilst it is a difficult and anxiety provoking time for you, I suggest you put all your hard-earned strategies for coping with difficult thoughts, feelings situations into practice. To take one step at a time and to hopefully lessen the overwhelming thoughts and feelings linked to your previous situation and experiences of engaging with children’s services.
As previously advised, it is a good idea to be open and transparent with the midwife and children’s services. It is far better to take this stance, to acknowledge your past and to demonstrate your ability to work with professionals to evidence you can care for yourself, your antenatal care and your child when born. Children’s Services will want to see evidence of the changes you have made and taking this stance will enhance this.
As part of a prebirth assessment, Children's Services will assess your current living conditions. This will include your furnishings. They should not be looking for 'perfection' but assessing the conditions from an informed perspective i.e. an explanation regarding flooring, decoration etc, why there is none in place, what plans (if any) you have for ensuring your home is appropriately furnished for your child when it is born.
I hope you find the information helpful (please refer to links in our previous response to you). It may be helpful to speak to an adviser, if so, please refer to our contact details on our website.
Best wishes, Suzie
Thank you for your post. I understand this is a difficult and anxiety provoking situation for you. It is likely that you will be triggered by your past experiences and that they impact on your situation now. This is not unusual and often happens when we attempt to process and manage difficult and complex thoughts and feelings.
As a grounding exercise, I suggest you go back and re read your original post to the forum. Your post highlights the substantial and sustained changes you have made since your child was adopted. The post sets out the positive aspects of your current situation, of the hard work, effort and commitment you have put in place to make the changes you needed and wanted to make. Please do no lose sight of these.
Whilst it is a difficult and anxiety provoking time for you, I suggest you put all your hard-earned strategies for coping with difficult thoughts, feelings situations into practice. To take one step at a time and to hopefully lessen the overwhelming thoughts and feelings linked to your previous situation and experiences of engaging with children’s services.
As previously advised, it is a good idea to be open and transparent with the midwife and children’s services. It is far better to take this stance, to acknowledge your past and to demonstrate your ability to work with professionals to evidence you can care for yourself, your antenatal care and your child when born. Children’s Services will want to see evidence of the changes you have made and taking this stance will enhance this.
As part of a prebirth assessment, Children's Services will assess your current living conditions. This will include your furnishings. They should not be looking for 'perfection' but assessing the conditions from an informed perspective i.e. an explanation regarding flooring, decoration etc, why there is none in place, what plans (if any) you have for ensuring your home is appropriately furnished for your child when it is born.
I hope you find the information helpful (please refer to links in our previous response to you). It may be helpful to speak to an adviser, if so, please refer to our contact details on our website.
Best wishes, Suzie
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