Want My kids back. On SGO

[Mum431]

Hi my children were placed in my mums and my sisters care due to my mental health and being neglectful and me staying in a dv relationship. Gradually got out havnt been with him in over a year now. My mum and sisters got granted the SGO in May/June this year. I've been sectioned twice in space of 3 months aswell but my mental health is getting better etc I want my kids back I'm so bored without them I don't go out I don't do nothing. My mum and sister has said it's not happening anytime soon due to my mental health.. I personally think My mental health has gone downhill more since I have had my children to keep My mind off of it I want them back I've been a mum since I was 17 never had SS involved until last year when I got meself in a dv relationship.. how do I go about getting them back but there both saying my mental health. Needs to be better. Also something about when the children turn 18. My youngest is 6 there's no way I'm spending 10 years away from my kids all them memories I'm loosing out on etc. I'm allowed to see my kids whenever I want but have to have an adult with me if I take them out. There was no reason or excuse as to why rhey want my visits supervised either they couldn't give me a reason

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Mum431,

Welcome to the parents’ forum and thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you have been facing and I hope that the following advice is helpful.

You say that your children are living with your mother and sisters under a Special Guardianship Order which was made a few months ago. They were unable to live with you due to concerns about your mental health and the fact that you were in an abusive relationship. You would like your children to return to your care however your mother and sisters say that they do not feel that your mental health is stable enough yet.

As your mother and sisters have enhanced parental responsibility it is currently up to them to make final decisions about the children. This includes what contact they have with you and how often they should have this contact. It has only been a few months since the SGO was made so I would suggest that it would be best for you to continue focussing on your mental health so that you can prove to your mother and sisters that you are well enough to be able to have more contact as time goes on. I would encourage you to work with mental health services and to take time to create more stability for yourself. This will put you in a better position in future to be able to care for your children or be a bigger part of their lives.

In future if you would like your children to return to your care then it is possible to return to court and request that the SGO is discharged, however you would have to demonstrate to the court that there has been a significant change in circumstances since the SGO was made and the court would have to give you permission to do this. It might be helpful for you to take a look at our advice sheet 2b – Special Guardianship: information for parents which you can find HERE.

I am sorry to hear that you were a victim of domestic abuse. Have you received any support for this? You may find it helpful to seek out support if not: please see HERE for links to organisations that might be helpful.

Match Mothers is an organisation that provides support to mothers who are apart from their children and I think that you might find them helpful. They have a confidential supportline which you can call on 0800 689 4104.

I hope that this is helpful. If you would like to discuss this further then you can ring our helpline to speak with one of our advisers on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday 9:30am-3pm).

Best wishes,
Suzie