Interim care order - what should I so?

[Mossie20]

Hi, we have had our IRH delayed until April as the LA had again not done what was ordered last August.
We had a care plan meeting yesterday, they are now going to ask for a 6 month care order, they were pushing for an SGO before, I know it is an improvement but still so ridiculous.
We do have a good guardian at the moment, she actually speaks to us, reads everything which is more than social workers do, and doesn’t seem to be pally with the social worker. She even apologised for being the 4th guardian and court being delayed despite it not being her fault in any way. Both mine and my husband’s solicitors have said she is nice and very experienced.

Do guardian’s often go against the LA? She is so nice and doesn’t seem easily fooled but so far everything the LA says gets agreed with despite proving they have lied.

The psychologist did not say her recommendations needed to be completed for us to have our son home, which were couples therapy (despite the therapist saying we don’t need it) and family mediation. They implied that I have no other family relationships or that I wouldn’t cope if I hadn’t. Both claims are rubbish.

We are going to go to the therapist so we can say we have been again, because we know he’ll still say we don’t need it, but it will just emphasise the point despite the cost, money which could be spent on our son.

She would not accept that the problems with some of my family are not communication difficulties, they know what the problem is, I have made it quite clear, but they will neither admit their lies or apologise. The psychologist seems to think it is that I simply can’t communicate with them. We are not a family that don’t tell each other if they have a problem. My family that support us and are aware what my mum and sister can be like are disgusted with them and can’t understand they can do it especially my mum. Unfortunately, the LA are completely deluded about them and believe everything my sister say.

Surely this cannot be a reason to stop a child being with his parents? Not everyone speaks to all their family and it is our choice as parents who our son sees, I have even been told that before by the social worker last year that they can only advise that it would be our decision. I myself was stopped from seeing one set of grandparents, and that was my Mum’s right as a parent to decide whatever the reason.

I have no desire of a relationship with my sister now given the things she has lied about during proceedings, and we weren’t particularly close before, she only ever wanted me for babysitting. My other family have said it would have been better he went to foster carers over my sister and in hindsight I agree, at the time I didn’t really want him going there but I had no choice we were forced to sign a S20.

The psychological and now ISW also says I would benefit from ongoing therapy for anxiety and PTSD. The psychologist knows I was told the way I felt was mostly circumstantial with the anxiety and was discharged, the PTSD didn’t really get spoken about, they weren’t sure they could agree. Also, the psychologist said to me PTSD did not stop me parenting.
Would a mental health assessment be enough to override this recommendation? If they said I was fine. I am not saying they have never been a problem but they never were at a level they affected my parenting. The issue was I didn’t know it was PTSD and they try and use it against me even though the psychologist has said it wouldn’t be recognised as it isn’t taught. They kept trying to say I had post-natal depression. I don’t know how I could be expected to know, I knew something wasn’t right but I knew it wasn’t depression it just didn’t fit.
I don’t want to be wasting people’s time when there are people desperate for help with mental health and not getting it.
I have an initial assessment with Healthy minds on the 7th but they can’t really do much and even if I needed therapy cannot offer anything long term. I'm waiting for the solicitor to get back to me

The ISW even said she wished to emphasise that she said nothing in her initial assessment or observations led her to deem either parent a direct risk of harm or likely to cause any purposeful harm. She said we are unique and find ourselves in a difficult situation.
Yet she is saying we need to complete family mediation before any reunification. Even though during the original assessment she told me she would leave him at home with no concerns. She is so contradictory.

Also, is it acceptable for social services to go from one social worker happy to leave a child at home on a CIN to the following week another social worker turning up saying they are starting court proceedings skipping over a CPP? The social worker who did this is a proven liar and has done some highly inappropriate things. He has now left the local authority since I provided evidence proving he lied after being on supposed sick leave for about 5 months which began shortly after the evidence.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Mossie20

Welcome back to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. I am glad to hear that you have a better working relationship with your son’s current Guardian and that you feel you are listened to now. You may find this explanation of the Guardian’s role and responsibilities helpful. The court will always take their recommendations very seriously.

I am unclear about the recommendation made at the care planning meeting last week for a 6 month care order. Do you mean that there was an agreement that the case would go back to court after 6 months to end the care order? Or perhaps you mean a supervision order ? It is important to discuss with your solicitor what plan is being pursued and why.

Your issues resolution hearing has been delayed until April. Although you explain that this is due to the local authority’s failure to complete some directions it may also give you time to progress some of the recommendations made about what you should do.

I think it is a good idea for you to attend the therapy recommended by the psychologist and I hope that it is beneficial; it will also show that you are willing and able to take on board advice and engage with therapeutic services. And you also have an appointment with Healthy Minds which I hope goes well.

You are wondering if a mental health assessment would reverse the psychological assessment recommendations; I am not sure that it would as they are different assessments. However, I would suggest that you discuss this with your solicitor if it something you are considering asking for.

Your difficult relationship with some family members continues to be a concern for children’s services and the independent social worker and there is a recommendation that you have family mediation prior to your son returning home to you. You are reluctant and worried about this. Family mediation can be a useful tool in helping families understand each other’s points of view and helping them to move forward; it will also focus your family’s attention on your child’s needs. Please see Child Law Advice’s explanation about family mediation for more information or our useful links here. It is best to follow recommendations made in court so that you can show that you are doing all you can to address the concerns they have.

I cannot comment on the change of plan which resulted in your son’s situation escalating from child in need to care proceedings. The reasons for this should have been made clear in the documents that children’s services submitted to the court, as set out in this table.

I hope that my advice has been helpful.

Please do post again or call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm, if you would like further advice.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Mossie20]

Hi,
They said at the care plan meeting that they would be asking for a full 6 month care order then if we hadn’t done the recommendations by that time an SGO. So it would basically stay as things are, it just sounds like carrying on the ICO. The judge isn’t happy about all the delays as it is, I am worried she will be rash and just give the LA what they want as she didn’t tell them off last time when even the guardian thought they would be in trouble. We are still waiting for the final evidence report it was due on the 6th but still haven't received it.

They had previously said they wanted an SGO, but since that they have been made to change the threshold because of evidence so the threshold now would never have seen our son removed. Also the last guardian said she couldn’t rule out reunification while the previous one had simply backed the LA as she only listened to them and lied about speaking to my husband.

Does the LA changing what they want mean they are less confident? The grounds they are using are ridiculous. For example, mental health, they are saying my mental health is an issue, which is not and medical professionals have said it is circumstantial. I have no history of mental health issues and only developed anxiety due to my son’s health. I don’t take any medication and we have over 18 months of positive contact records. Surely if there were any mental health concerns they would be raised. Contact have said themselves they don’t understand why this is happening.

There have been times during assessments where I have been emotional as they were asking about things that were totally irrelevant such as things that happened during childhood, these are used as reasons to say I withdraw because I don’t wish to talk about them. I suffered with anxiety and supposedly PTSD neither affected parenting and are not even an issue now. They are happy for him to be with my sister who has had anxiety for years and it does affect her parenting, she didn’t fetch her own children from school for years or attend any of their school events which will obviously affect a child but they don’t care about that. They don’t see how hypocritical they are being. The social worker even once said they can’t use mental health as it is discrimination.

I did healthy minds/mind for about 18 months till last October, they discharged me. It just ended up talking about what was going on which I have family and friends for.
We did the couples therapy which was recommended, the therapist has said more than once we don’t need it. It is money that would be better spent on our son.

Healthy minds didn’t really want to do the assessment, but said I could have it. I really don’t know what else I can do. I asked my solicitor twice but had no response despite her answering other questions. I won’t even have proof of the assessment other that a text with a link but it doesn’t say what for. I have thought about seeing the private therapist alone he would do a letter, but he cannot diagnose or undiagnosed mental health conditions.

I appreciate mediation can help some families, but it is not a disagreement. My sister lied multiple time, she won’t admit it and my mum simply makes excuses for her or changes the subject. She always been this way, but it’s never been as important. My sister partially admitted one thing during a LAC review out of panic/frustration but no surprise the social worker just ignores it as she does anytime I prove any lies. My sister even caused us to have to do a DNA test which was humiliating. She is doing anything she can to cause trouble and keep our son. Unfortunately, social workers haven’t got a clue what people are really like, they get an act, I’ve seen her do it on plenty of people. If they knew all the fact about us, this situation would be the complete opposite, she’s terrible parent and I have said I would never want her to raise him and family have said he would have been better of with normal foster parents than with her but it was all so quick.

Also, we have other family, they are trying to make out that they are all we have but I have plenty of family and friends who are supportive and disgusted by my sister’s behaviour.

Not speaking to some family or even not having any doesn’t make us unfit parents.
Surely the main point of a transition is to ease our son back home so he is used to being away from them as would be the case with normal foster carers.

I want my mum in my life and my sons, despite what she'd done, she is a good Nanna, and the only grandparent that would be good for him. She was at his birth, she cut his cord, saw him first, even knew he was a boy first, I don't want to ruin that special bond and I don't regret it. The majority of problems me and my mum have ever had is because of my sister, my family see the problem and the control my sister has and are seeing it even more with what's happened. But me and my mum don't need mediation to talk, she simply won't admit anything while my son isn't here. She know's all I want is her to admit my sisters lies an apologise for covering for her.

The main reason the LA used to take him was his weight, saying he only lost weight in hospital which is nonsense, the first time he lost was in hospital. not all the weights were given to the judge. The social worker also lied about weight loses when they didn’t happen which his red book shows but no one thought to check his claims. Also I followed the previous feeding plan for 3 days which I told them, but he didn’t lose weight. the dietician said in a meeting that he needed to be 5kg by the following week or needed admitting but he was 5kg within 2 days but they just carried on with proceedings. The social worker who caused all this has now left and as far we know is no longer a social worker. No professional who knows of him has ever had a good word to say about him,

Everyone has always said it is odd how quickly it escalated including the ISW.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Mossie20

Thank you for your further post and for clarifying what was discussed at the care planning meeting. The difference between an interim and a care order is that an interim order is temporary and lasts until a final decision is made in court. It does have the same effect as a care order. However, a care order can last until a child is 18 (this is very unusual though in the case of a young child) and ends only when it is discharged by the court; this can be when another order such as a Special Guardianship Order is made.

Your (delayed) Issues Resolutions Hearing is coming up in April. You should be receiving the final care plan, social worker’s statement and Guardian’s final report shortly. It is not helpful that there has been a delay with this. It will be very important to go through all the documents very carefully with your solicitor and with their help to draft your own statement setting out what you believe to be best for your son and what decision you would like the court to make. Your solicitor will be able to advise on the strength or weakness of the local authority’s case. If there is further information that is relevant for the court to be aware of please discuss this with your solicitor.

Thank you for explaining more about your relationship with different family members. I can see your relationship with your sister is very fraught but you do want to rebuild a relationship and have your mum in your and your son’s life even though things are difficult between you now.

I hope that your situation moves forward. Please do post back or ring to speak to an adviser if that would help; our freephone advice line number is 0808 8010366 and it is open Mon to Fri, from 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays).

Best wishes

Suzie