Primary Carer vs Joint Carer in a family?

[bayescr]

As the child's mother, I myself am considered by social worker/guardian as the suitable primary carer.

The father (husband) has strong cognitive abilities and no mental issues etc, but his assessment says he is weak in empathy and emotional attunement, and so is not recommended to be the child's primary carer. At the same time, it also says he has many positive parenting traits and should have a significant involvement in the child's life. He has been recommended to a class related to child's emotional wellbeing and developments.

We are temporarily and physically separated until these care proceedings end, and have no intention of divorce etc. We are both looking to get back and live together to co-parent the child like before. The child clearly loves us both very much.

I wonder what does it mean or lead to?

What does primary carer mean exactly? Given the assessment, it is clear that he cannot care for the child as the sole carer (ie father and child only living together), but can he move back home and co-parent with myself (just like any typical co-working families)? Can we jointly care for the child together?

[VD2ER]

I would recommend he attends the suggested course. It would show compliance and a willingness to improve in the eyes of Child Services and hence the courts. It will be a tick in their risk assessment.

Aspects of empathy, like cause and effect can be learnt. I had to look up Emotional Attunement and it seems it's about the ability to perceive and respond to emotional cues. His parenting assessment suggests he missed some of these cues.

The primary care-giver is just that. You have have a greater say in your child's upbringing from a practical point of view.

Without knowing more about this, and I assume there was an event where separation was forced upon you by CS and the courts, I'm not sure what else can be said to help. The age of the child will also determine their mount of say in the matter. The older the more say.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

As the child's mother, I myself am considered by social worker/guardian as the suitable primary carer.

The father (husband) has strong cognitive abilities and no mental issues etc, but his assessment says he is weak in empathy and emotional attunement, and so is not recommended to be the child's primary carer. At the same time, it also says he has many positive parenting traits and should have a significant involvement in the child's life. He has been recommended to a class related to child's emotional wellbeing and developments.

We are temporarily and physically separated until these care proceedings end, and have no intention of divorce etc. We are both looking to get back and live together to co-parent the child like before. The child clearly loves us both very much.

I wonder what does it mean or lead to?

What does primary carer mean exactly? Given the assessment, it is clear that he cannot care for the child as the sole carer (ie father and child only living together), but can he move back home and co-parent with myself (just like any typical co-working families)? Can we jointly care for the child together?

Dear bayescr,

Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am the online adviser at Family Rights Group. I hope the following advice and information is helpful.

You would like to know what exactly is meant by the assertion that your husband cannot be your child’s primary carer. Generally, the primary carer is the person who provides most of the day-to-day care for the child. However I think that it is important that you ask the person who has carried out the assessment to fully explain what they mean by this. I cannot answer your question about whether your husband will be able to move back home and co-parent with you and can only advise you to speak with the social worker about this.

As advised previously, it is very important that you are open and honest with all the professionals about your wish to reconcile with your husband and for him to move back into the family home.

You can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) to speak in person with an adviser. We also have a webchat which is currently open on Monday and Thursday afternoons, and an advice enquiry form.

Best wishes,
Suzie