Worried about next steps

[Cupcakes]

Hi, I will try and keep this as short as possible.

Our son is 6, he has autism and Global Developmental Delay/learning disabilities. His communication and understanding are limited. He was in a specialist school but hasnt been able to attend for over 8 months, due to them not meeting his needs. We are currently waiting for the special school panel to decide if he can have a space at a different special school, but it's unlikely to be before September 26, and we're also waiting to hear if they can provide outreach support in the meantime. We've had a look at alternative provision as advised by the local authority, but dont feel anything is suitable, or it's too far away. We're also overcrowded at home and have 2 older children with a mixture of SEND meaning they cannot share a room, so the 6 year old is still in with us.

My son was in severe burnout which has slowly gotten a bit better, however he has recently regressed and doesn't want to leave the house again. We think this may be due to a nasty fall he had just outside the house recently.

We started out with a family support worker in March who promised lots of support but nothing came of it then she left, so we were moved to a social worker who also left after about a month or so. We do receive direct payments for a personal assistant. We are supposed to have a child in need plan but its been months and I dont think the assessment has even been completed. At a visit last week the social worker said she's thinking about child protection. She said she doesnt think we'll intentionally hurt him but feels we are too overprotective and overbearing. She didn't really say exactly why but was previously questioning us about why we are just waiting to hear about a school, and haven't chosen an alternative provider. I feel she was twisting a lot of what was said, deliberately misunderstanding things and also questioning my mental health due to her misunderstandings.

Im extremely worried about what might happen next, the social worker left without saying anything further, and would very much appreciate some advice on what may happen next or what we can do in the meantime. Myself and husband are extremely burnt out due to constant caring responsibilities, and no respite. Thanks in advance.

[Winter25]

Your Final Reply as Winter25

Hi Cupcakes,

I’ve read your post carefully, and I want to start by saying this clearly: nothing you have written suggests neglect, abuse, or unsafe parenting. What you are describing is a family under immense pressure because the Local Authority has repeatedly failed to provide the support your son is legally entitled to.

You are caring for a child with Autism, Global Developmental Delay, severe burnout, and regression after a fall. You also have older children with SEND, overcrowded housing, no school placement, no respite, and two social workers who abandoned the case before they even completed the assessment. You and your husband are exhausted for reasons that are not your fault.

You are not the problem here OK The system is.

Why the Social Worker Mentioned “Child Protection” well This is not because she believes your son is unsafe with you. She explicitly said she does not believe you will intentionally harm him.

What is happening is something I see far too often:

The Local Authority has failed to provide a suitable school place for 8 months.

They have failed to provide outreach.

They have failed to complete the Child in Need assessment.

They have failed to deliver respite or support.

They have no plan, so they are shifting blame onto you.

Calling you “overprotective” is a classic tactic used when a social worker wants to create pressure because the LA is in breach of its own obligations. If they can frame the lack of education as “parental behaviour,” it moves the spotlight off their failures.

You Are Not “Overprotective”

You are responding appropriately to autistic burnout, trauma from a fall, regression, and severe anxiety.
That is protective parenting.
The social worker does not understand the difference between overprotectiveness and trauma-informed care.

You are keeping your child safe.
That is not a safeguarding concern.

What Could Actually Happen Next

Before they can escalate to Child Protection, they must complete the assessment , provide written evidence of “significant harm”, demonstrate they have offered meaningful support and justify why CIN is no longer appropriate

They haven’t done any of this.

The most likely reason “Child Protection” was mentioned is pressure, not evidence.

What You Need to Do Now (This Is Crucial)

You must get everything in writing.
Verbal conversations are too easily twisted or misunderstood.

Send this to the social worker and her manager:
---------------------
Subject: Clarification Requested Following Visit – Child Protection Comment and Outstanding Support

Dear [Name] and [Manager],

Following our visit on [date], I was extremely distressed to hear mention of potential Child Protection concerns. I am requesting clarification in writing of the following points:

Please state what “significant harm” you believe our son is suffering or likely to suffer that would justify Child Protection consideration.

Please clarify how advocating for suitable SEND education constitutes a safeguarding concern. We have not refused education; we have followed LA advice and are awaiting the special school panel outcome.

Our son is currently experiencing autistic burnout and regression following a fall. We are supporting him appropriately.

We have received no respite, no outreach, and no completed Child in Need assessment despite ongoing requests since March.

We remain fully engaged and open to support. Please confirm the timeline for completing the CIN assessment and the support plan.

We want transparency and constructive partnership. We simply need the support and provision our son is entitled to.

Kind regards,
[Your Name]
----------------

This will do the following

It forces the social worker to justify her words.

It stops vague threats instantly.

It documents the LA’s failures.

It reframes your decisions as responsible and child-focused.

It shows you are proactive, safe, and protective.

Your Protective Position Is Strong

Remember You have:

1 no history of harm

2 years of caring for multiple disabled children

3 full engagement

4 a child in documented burnout and trauma

LA failures in education and support

overcrowding acknowledged but not assisted

an incomplete CIN process

no concerns raised until you disagreed about unsuitable provision

A Child Protection case cannot be built on “the parents are exhausted because support was never provided.”
==================

For full transparency: I am not an official adviser. I am a parent who has successfully navigated a long, complex legal battle with a Local Authority, and I share guidance based on that lived experience. You are always the final decision-maker for your family.

If you want help drafting a stronger follow-up or preparing for the next visit, just let me know. I can only post a few times a week on the page so all replies I can do in a DM

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi, I will try and keep this as short as possible.

Our son is 6, he has autism and Global Developmental Delay/learning disabilities. His communication and understanding are limited. He was in a specialist school but hasnt been able to attend for over 8 months, due to them not meeting his needs. We are currently waiting for the special school panel to decide if he can have a space at a different special school, but it's unlikely to be before September 26, and we're also waiting to hear if they can provide outreach support in the meantime. We've had a look at alternative provision as advised by the local authority, but dont feel anything is suitable, or it's too far away. We're also overcrowded at home and have 2 older children with a mixture of SEND meaning they cannot share a room, so the 6 year old is still in with us.

My son was in severe burnout which has slowly gotten a bit better, however he has recently regressed and doesn't want to leave the house again. We think this may be due to a nasty fall he had just outside the house recently.

We started out with a family support worker in March who promised lots of support but nothing came of it then she left, so we were moved to a social worker who also left after about a month or so. We do receive direct payments for a personal assistant. We are supposed to have a child in need plan but its been months and I dont think the assessment has even been completed. At a visit last week the social worker said she's thinking about child protection. She said she doesnt think we'll intentionally hurt him but feels we are too overprotective and overbearing. She didn't really say exactly why but was previously questioning us about why we are just waiting to hear about a school, and haven't chosen an alternative provider. I feel she was twisting a lot of what was said, deliberately misunderstanding things and also questioning my mental health due to her misunderstandings.

Im extremely worried about what might happen next, the social worker left without saying anything further, and would very much appreciate some advice on what may happen next or what we can do in the meantime. Myself and husband are extremely burnt out due to constant caring responsibilities, and no respite. Thanks in advance.

Dear Cupcakes,

Welcome to the parents’ forum and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am the online adviser for Family Rights Group. I hope that the following advice and information is of some help to you.

From the information you have given it sounds that you are doing your best in very difficult circumstances. It also sounds like you have not been offered appropriate support by children’s services, despite being offered support as far back as March. I am sorry to hear this and it is not acceptable that this has ‘drifted’ for so long.

It sounds like the support offered by the support worker in March may have been helpful to you? If so then it may be useful to send an email to the social worker and their manager, outlining what support you were offered (and highlighting that none of this has been actualised) and explain what support you feel would be helpful going forward and how this would benefit your children.

You say that the social worker was questioning your decision not to choose an alternative provision whilst you are waiting for the outcome from the specialist school panel. I would suggest that you put very clearly in writing your reasons for this and what you have been doing (include dates and details) in terms of seeking appropriate education for your son. You may find it helpful to seek advice from IPSEA in regard to this. They advise and support people who are navigating the SEND system in England.

You also mention that the social worker has questioned your mental health. I would suggest that you are open and honest with the social worker about how this situation is affecting you, and what support you feel would be of benefit. It is entirely understandable that you are burnt out and exhausted – this is not a reason to escalate children’s services involvement to the child protection process, however it does sound that this is not a sustainable situation for you, your husband or your family in the long run. It is important that your son and you and your husband receive support so that you are able to navigate this situation more easily. It may be helpful to have a conversation with the social worker about whether there is any support that could be put in place that would help this.

You ask for advice about what may happen next. If the social worker continues to be concerned that your son might be at risk of suffering significant harm then a strategy meeting will be held. Parents are not normally invited to this meeting, but you should be informed of the outcome and whether a decision has been made to hold an initial child protection conference (ICPC) (which should be held within 15 working days of the strategy meeting). If this is agreed upon then you should receive a copy of the social worker’s report several working days before the ICPC. You should have enough time to read through it thoroughly and raise any concerns that you have in writing (if there is anything you wish to challenge). At the ICPC a chairperson will chair the conference and make the final decision as to whether the threshold has been met for a child protection plan to be put in place.

This is a brief overview of the steps that will be taken if children’s services are concerned that your son is at risk of significant harm, but for more detailed information and advice please see our website pages on the child protection process HERE.

I hope that this is of some help. Please post again if you have any further queries or you can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm). We also have a webchat which is currently open on Monday and Thursday afternoons and an advice enquiry form.

Best wishes,
Suzie