Stepdaughter needs help

[Colegee41]

A situation has arisen regarding my husband and his daughter. For a little background they've been broken up a fair while now and it was an ugly break up and there were wild baseless accusations against my husband and now we can see it as a tactic to get my husband to back off from his ex and unfortunately his daughter as it affected his mental health badly. So husband hasnt seen his daughter properly in nearly 6 years but he's always thought of her and there have been multiple concerns over the years about his daughter's welfare which we have always reported childrens services and they have become involved because of this. The last time that children's services were involved they were confident that things had resolved,so my husband was content to just keep things as they were as he couldn't deal with anymore accusations from his ex if he decided to pursue a relationship with his daughter.
So early this April my husband had been contacted by childrens services and they had said that they have had a referral through from his daughter's school and the concerns were involving neglect and his child would come to school smelling very bad and in unwashed clothes and his daughter disclosed to her teacher that she was having to cook her own meals as her mother would stay asleep until the early evening(child is in special needs school so would get picked up by a minibus and dropped home via minibus) so this has led to my husband and me vowing to help in anyway we can because this isn't the first,second or third time that children's services has had to be involved and it's not good enough. My husband's ex is refusing to work with childrens services and no one has physically seen the child since the 4th of april 2025. The ex has said that she has unregistered her child at school because my husband poses a threat to his daughter's safety and could kidnap her and she stated in the same conversation with the child's school that she is fed up with childrens services being involved. The ex cannot simply unregister the child from school as she has an educational health care plan and special needs so she is very vulnerable to more abuse via neglect. And it's worrying that her mother is essentially on the run with the child and believe me when I say we are exhausting every resource we have to make sure this little girl is safe. We've applied to family court for my husband to establish the relationship with his daughter and we've stated that it is urgent,we have contacted the nspcc and they haven't responded in absolute days,we've contacted the police and they have said just contact children's services,we contacted fathers for justice but we don't have a lot of money at our disposal to pay for them,And the child's school have also said contact the court and tell them it's urgent as the mother is refusing to have contact with anyone and by proxy keeping the daughter away from any one concerned about her welfare. Children's services say they have limited powers at the moment but I am wondering how long can they let this go on for? That little girl is so at risk and vulnerable. Is there anything more we can be doing?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Colegee41,

Thank you for your post. I am Suzie an online adviser responding to you today.
I am very sorry to read about your stressful situation.

You are concerned about your stepdaughter’s welfare and safety, as is her father – your husband.
You explain that it has been difficult for your husband to retain contact and connection with his daughter due to conflict with the mother, but he has made referrals to children’s services at several points throughout the years. Following children’s services involvement in the past it was felt that care of your stepdaughter from her mother had improved and children’s services then withdrew.

You explain that your stepdaughter has additional needs, has an education, health and care plan and was attending a special education needs school until recently.

In April this year, your husband was alerted that children’s services had received another referral from his daughter’s school as they were concerned about possible neglect. You report that the child’s mother is refusing to work with children’s services and has withdrawn her daughter from school. You are very worried that nobody has seen your stepdaughter since early April this year.

You and your stepdaughter’s father have made an urgent application to the family court for a child arrangements order and have communicated that the situation is urgent. You can read more about urgent private family law applications here.

You have already contacted NSPCC and are waiting for a response. You have also contacted police who have directed you back to children’s services.

You do not feel that children’s services are responding adequately to the concerns about this vulnerable child’s welfare and you are checking if there is anything further you can do in addition to your actions so far.

You can read more about how children’s services should conduct child protection enquiries here and could consider making a formal complaint so that the circumstances are reviewed. You can read more about the complaints process here.

You could also ask your stepdaughter's school to refer to children's services again to reiterate their concerns.

Both Parents Matter (formerly known as Families need Fathers) may be able to offer useful support to your husband and yourself. You can link to their website here and their National Telephone Helpline is available from 9am - 10pm Monday to Friday, 10am - 3pm at weekends on 0300 0300 363.

You may also wish to talk to one of our experienced advisers on the Family Rights Group free advice line on 0808 801 0366 available Monday- Friday (excluding bank holidays) from 9.30am-3.00pm.

I hope this was helpful.
Best wishes,
Suzie