In court proceedings

[Apeypoop]

Hello, my kids got taken in September for an abusive ex and drug misuse. I got rid of my ex for the passed 4 months and stopped the drugs. I had a relapse on Christmas Day due to my kids not being here but I told social all about it and I’ve never gone back. I’ve offered to take weekly tests until my 2nd court date on march the 28th. What are the chances of getting my kids back? I keep seeing that only social get listened to by the judge and nothing I do will matter anyway. I just need to hear something positive or I dno

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Apeypoop,

Welcome to the parents’ forum and thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear about the very difficult situation you are in, and I hope that the following information and advice is helpful.

Firstly, congratulations on your sobriety – it sounds like you are working hard to make positive changes in your life. It is also positive to hear that you have separated from your ex-partner who was abusive towards you. I am sorry to hear that you were a victim of abuse and I hope you are receiving support regarding any trauma you may have experienced. You might find it helpful to look at our useful links page HERE as it has details of organisations that can support people who have experienced domestic abuse.

You ask what the chances are of getting your children back into your care. I’m afraid I can’t comment on your chances as I do not have all the details of your case. The best person to speak with about this would be your solicitor as they will have these details and will be best placed to give you some advice. However, it sounds that you have made positive changes and I would encourage you to continue your hard work to get yourself to a point where you would be able to safely care for your children. If you make sure that your solicitor is aware of all of the evidence that you have to show that you have made significant changes in your life then they will be able to put the best case forward to argue that your children should be returned.

It is correct that the court will take the opinion of children’s services seriously, but they will also ask for recommendations from the children’s guardian, as well as recommendations from assessments such as parenting assessments or psychological assessments. The court will consider all of the evidence and will make a final decision about what they believe is in the best interests of your children. It is not correct that nothing you do will matter anyway – the court will look closely at the changes that you have made and the work that you have put in to making these changes. You might find it helpful to look at our website HERE as it explains what the court will look at when they are making decisions about your children.

If your children are not returned to your care at the end of the court proceedings, then please remember that it is still possible for your children to return to your care at some point in the future. Court orders (such as a care order or a special guardianship order) can be discharged (ended) if it is in the children’s best interests. A plan can be put in place for the children to be returned home if it is felt that this would be best for them. Therefore it is always a good idea to continue the work you have started to make positive changes in your life and to continue working in partnership with children’s services even if your children are not returned to you at the end of the court process. The only order it is not possible to discharge is an adoption order (this order will only be made if the court feels that no other option will do).

I understand that it must be very difficult for you to be separated from your children and I hope that you are getting some emotional support. MATCH mothers have a confidential supportline which you can call for free to get emotional support if this would be helpful for you. They can be reached on 0800 689 4104.

I hope that this is of some help. Please post again if you have further questions, or you can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday – Friday, 9:30am – 3pm), or speak to us via our webchat or our advice enquiry form.

Best wishes,
Suzie