How can I take this further?
Posted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 7:57 pm
My husbands sister is due to have her 5th baby in three weeks and the baby is going to be removed at birth, which we agree with. We have no contact with her but are very close to her other children (two are grown up with their own flats and two are placed as a looked after children with husbands brother).
When we heard the plan was for removal, we contacted SS and put ourselves forward to take the baby in. We want more than anything to help and feel strongly that the baby should have the opportunity to grow up within its family, like the other four have. As his auntie and uncle we are happy to bring him up.
We had a viability assessment and this was a very positive experience- the social worker said she was satisfied that we would provide a brilliant placement, that we have a good, realistic understanding of what we are dealing with, and would work in partnership with SS. She said she would type it up the following day and recommend us as she has no concerns. She would then need to do the full assessment.
We were ecstatic but the next day she phoned and said that actually, there is a weak point on the assessment which meant we won't be considered after all. The weak point was that we hadn't said we would adopt the baby and unless we agreed to adoption, he wouldn't be coming to us. We are quite taken aback by this and didn't know what to make of it, and said we weren't sure we could commit to that- husband feels uncomfortable about becoming 'dad' to his sisters baby and we also feel that we would need support, not just have him signed off to us and left to get on with it. We did say that perhaps this could be considered in the future though, it's just a lot to get our heads around at the moment. We did reassure them that we are committed to permanence though if that's what they were worried about, we do not want to mess about we ether bring him up or we don't!
I was wondering is this justified that they are failing us on this? I thought there was a duty to place within the family if at all possible? He would have all his siblings, cousins, aunties, uncles and grandparents waiting. Everyone is fine apart from husbands sister, it is a great family, why deny him this? We can't bear the thought of him being adopted out to an unknown family when we are all willing and waiting, and passed the assessment, but I don't know how to fight it. I feel it may be about money saving and adoption targets but that probably wouldn't be the wisest thing to say!
When we heard the plan was for removal, we contacted SS and put ourselves forward to take the baby in. We want more than anything to help and feel strongly that the baby should have the opportunity to grow up within its family, like the other four have. As his auntie and uncle we are happy to bring him up.
We had a viability assessment and this was a very positive experience- the social worker said she was satisfied that we would provide a brilliant placement, that we have a good, realistic understanding of what we are dealing with, and would work in partnership with SS. She said she would type it up the following day and recommend us as she has no concerns. She would then need to do the full assessment.
We were ecstatic but the next day she phoned and said that actually, there is a weak point on the assessment which meant we won't be considered after all. The weak point was that we hadn't said we would adopt the baby and unless we agreed to adoption, he wouldn't be coming to us. We are quite taken aback by this and didn't know what to make of it, and said we weren't sure we could commit to that- husband feels uncomfortable about becoming 'dad' to his sisters baby and we also feel that we would need support, not just have him signed off to us and left to get on with it. We did say that perhaps this could be considered in the future though, it's just a lot to get our heads around at the moment. We did reassure them that we are committed to permanence though if that's what they were worried about, we do not want to mess about we ether bring him up or we don't!
I was wondering is this justified that they are failing us on this? I thought there was a duty to place within the family if at all possible? He would have all his siblings, cousins, aunties, uncles and grandparents waiting. Everyone is fine apart from husbands sister, it is a great family, why deny him this? We can't bear the thought of him being adopted out to an unknown family when we are all willing and waiting, and passed the assessment, but I don't know how to fight it. I feel it may be about money saving and adoption targets but that probably wouldn't be the wisest thing to say!