Pregnant but don’t have custody of my first child

[Justastranger]

So I’ve just found out I’m pregnant. My first child is 2 & my parents have special guardianship over him. I’m very scared now that I know I’m pregnant because I’m now worried that if I keep the baby I will have the baby taken off of me when I have him/her.
My parents have special guardianship of my first child because I was in a relationship with the father but he was seen as a risk to children and it was a domestic violent relationship.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Justastranger

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.

I am sorry that it has taken some time for you to receive a response to your post.
You have that you are now pregnant and worried about what might happen with your baby because your child who is now 2 was removed from your care. Your child now live with your parents under a special guardianship order.

There is a likelihood that children’s services will become involved because of the history. It is not clear from your post if you are in the same relationship as before. If so, there would have to be very significant changes, depending on what risk your partner was considered to pose to children at the time and now. If, however, you are not with the same partner, then children’s services would look at your situation as you are now.

Children’s services will look at your current circumstances to assess you and your new partner, the support that you have and the state of your relationship to decide if you are able to safely look after your baby.

Below is information from our frequently asked questions:

‘I am pregnant and have had previous children removed by Children's Services. What can I do to stop them taking this one?
In this situation, it is very common to be worried that your new baby could be removed (even if your circumstances have changed) and to avoid contact with professionals until some way into the pregnancy. But this is not a good idea - in fact it is likely to make things much worse for you.
The best thing to do is to:
• stay in regular touch with health professionals to make sure you get the ante-natal care that you and your baby need;
• work with the social worker to make a safe plan for your child for when they are born. This may include:
• you understanding and overcoming the problems which led to your previous children being removed and what support you need with your new baby;
o the social worker saying what support you will be given when the baby is born to help you care for them, ,
o considering whether there is anyone else in the baby's family who is suitable to look after your baby if you cannot.
The social worker will visit you and they will assess whether they think you can look after your baby. In some case if they are worried your baby may be at risk, they might arrange a child protection conference with other professionals can discuss this further.
• see a solicitor straight away. They can advise you and help you discuss plans with the social worker, even before your baby is born; and
• discuss with your (and the baby's father's) wider family if there is anyone who could care for your baby safely after the birth if you are not allowed to. If there is, ask those family members to contact the social worker and ask to be assessed as soon as possible.’

You can read more from the frequently asked question section of our website. It may also be helpful for you to read our advice sheet Child protection procedures for more information.

If you are a young parent you might find it useful to look at our young parents’ website here

Should you wish to speak to an adviser about your situation, please telephone our confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

Hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie