Please help! we just want to be a family
Please help! we just want to be a family
Hi i am Susan, new to this and have the biggest story to tell i really don't know where to start. It all happened a year a go, me, my partner and 2 daughters moved house away from family everyone we know. We wanted new life and as we got offered house instead of a flat we went for it. We wanted garden and just us to be happy and start again. We both haven't had a good up bringing and so and so. Also he is not the father to my daughters. Anyways 2 months in to moving he got his computers from his parents house, me being me looked and i found child porn. At first i hit the roof, i looked ip dates when this happened how many and what was there. I have to be fair it was more cartoon than real children. One was a real child naked and other kid models. Shocked and sick we spoke, we both said he needed to hand himself on and get help. Which he did, we have stayed together as i believe he was too you g to understand. He did this at the age of 14 to 20 and has not been on computer for 3 years. Both computers are hard drives you see and you need computer to plug it into. Since then i have had social services and there hell. We have both done everything they have told us to do, he moved out, i went to classes to keep me busy. It doesn't help i am miles around from anyone. All i have here is him and girls, i don't drive so hard. We got given a contract of expectations to where we can meet in pubic and see family with the girls. Its been 6 months and all of a sudden they have gotten me to sign form again saying he is not aloud to see girls again until meeting. I am in a mess, we have had it hard for 6 months as it is, but he was aloud at christmas to be here and to see them at park and go to see family. No its all stopped, they say its because police have informed them there is a few serious images. I seen most and was a few but not thousands i know that. I love my children and will protect them, but i know this man made a huge mistake as a teenager. God i made loads with drugs, but i changed. I really need help i have known this man since 11 and i trust him. I am so scared and we both been talking about killing ourselves. I have harmed in past and i am so scared what will happen. I love this man and my daughters do to but this is a nightmare. I think my girls will be better off without me, people judge saying why am i staying. But i believe what the point in wrecking the family when we are asking for help. We are up for anything they want. He is in contact with Lucy faith but loads of money, i will do anything to keep us as a family and be happy. Please don't judge me to i last wrote on a site and they gave me hell. No one understands if i thought he was going to harm my kids or do it again i would be gone. Please can someone help i will beg, i just want to be happy family again.
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4256
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Please help! we just want to be a family
Dear Susan
I am sorry to hear about the difficult situation you find yourself in with regards Children's Services involvement due to your partner being implicated in downloading child pornography.
You describe a very complex set of circumstances, that are probably subject to a joint investigation taking place between police and Children's Services.
You speak about how the current level of stress has made you consider thinking about ending your life. May I suggest that you ensure that you consider making urgent contact with http://www.samaritans.co.uk or let your GP know how difficult you are finding things at present.
They may be able to offer you some additional support, or make a referral to the appropriate mental health services team so they can work closely along side you at what is clearly a very difficult time.
In the meantime, please keep an open mind about the professional concerns, consider confiding in a close or trusted friend (or family member) whilst continuing to fully cooperate in the child protection investigation, so you can demonstrate your ability to keep your children safe.
Am I right in thinking that the meeting you refer to is an Initial Child Protection Conference that is due to take place?
You may wish to refer to the http://www.frg.org.uk/films on our website to help you prepare for the conference, if that is the decision that has been made.
Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please contact the Family Rights Group advice line on 0808 801 0366 Monday to Friday 09.30 to 03.00 pm.
Best Wishes
Suzie
I am sorry to hear about the difficult situation you find yourself in with regards Children's Services involvement due to your partner being implicated in downloading child pornography.
You describe a very complex set of circumstances, that are probably subject to a joint investigation taking place between police and Children's Services.
You speak about how the current level of stress has made you consider thinking about ending your life. May I suggest that you ensure that you consider making urgent contact with http://www.samaritans.co.uk or let your GP know how difficult you are finding things at present.
They may be able to offer you some additional support, or make a referral to the appropriate mental health services team so they can work closely along side you at what is clearly a very difficult time.
In the meantime, please keep an open mind about the professional concerns, consider confiding in a close or trusted friend (or family member) whilst continuing to fully cooperate in the child protection investigation, so you can demonstrate your ability to keep your children safe.
Am I right in thinking that the meeting you refer to is an Initial Child Protection Conference that is due to take place?
You may wish to refer to the http://www.frg.org.uk/films on our website to help you prepare for the conference, if that is the decision that has been made.
Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please contact the Family Rights Group advice line on 0808 801 0366 Monday to Friday 09.30 to 03.00 pm.
Best Wishes
Suzie
Re: Please help! we just want to be a family
Hi suzie, thank you so much for getting back to me. I am not in a good place at the moment and pulling my hair out.
Yes its the initial child protection case conference and it will review the contract i was made to sign to stop him having any contact with the girls. I am willing to do what ever it takes to sort this and same to him. We are not bad people and the gorls have always came first.
When i found those images we both wanted to do it the right way so he handed himself in, he is willing to do time or whatever happens. We just want to be happy again and be a family, i sit in house all day cant paint it as its our house. I am close to my family and his, they do aupport us come up and see us. But they have their own stuff to worry about, its just so hard!
It feels we made the wrong choice by going to the police, i feel i am bad for supporting him with this. If he had thousands of pictures and did this when we started dating yes i would walk away. But this was when he was a teenager and did something so stupid. He hasn't done it since 3 years ago as i searched everything on the computer when i found it. If i thought he was bad and may harm my girls i would not be writing this, but he has never done a bad thing in his life this is all. He is smart and quite and helps anyone who needs it. I have known he most my life and its killing us all.
I have been doctors but no help as i am hiding pills and this is what happens when i do OD on them, i don't want to as i want to fight for my children they are my world i adore them. They have put me on anti depressants which help but my thoughts change. I am a good petson and mother i just want someone to help us, i am tired and sick of praying to god crying myself to sleep begging for them to see. I hate telling my children where he is and them crying and having to pick all the broken pieces up.
Yes he did all this mess, he should have known but we all make mistakes when a kids ourselves don't we? i just don't understand why they wont help someone out instead of ruining the life all together. He has out his hands up for what he did, its not 6 months where they have let us carry on seeing him and now bang no we cant.
Its messing with me and kids!
Sorry i am going on i just angry with treating him and me like this, he is not evil and would not hirt a fly he made a huge mistake.
I need advice on a legal planning meeting the held yestersday i was wondering could i get notes from what was said at this meeting as after this all this has happened.
Thank you again
Yes its the initial child protection case conference and it will review the contract i was made to sign to stop him having any contact with the girls. I am willing to do what ever it takes to sort this and same to him. We are not bad people and the gorls have always came first.
When i found those images we both wanted to do it the right way so he handed himself in, he is willing to do time or whatever happens. We just want to be happy again and be a family, i sit in house all day cant paint it as its our house. I am close to my family and his, they do aupport us come up and see us. But they have their own stuff to worry about, its just so hard!
It feels we made the wrong choice by going to the police, i feel i am bad for supporting him with this. If he had thousands of pictures and did this when we started dating yes i would walk away. But this was when he was a teenager and did something so stupid. He hasn't done it since 3 years ago as i searched everything on the computer when i found it. If i thought he was bad and may harm my girls i would not be writing this, but he has never done a bad thing in his life this is all. He is smart and quite and helps anyone who needs it. I have known he most my life and its killing us all.
I have been doctors but no help as i am hiding pills and this is what happens when i do OD on them, i don't want to as i want to fight for my children they are my world i adore them. They have put me on anti depressants which help but my thoughts change. I am a good petson and mother i just want someone to help us, i am tired and sick of praying to god crying myself to sleep begging for them to see. I hate telling my children where he is and them crying and having to pick all the broken pieces up.
Yes he did all this mess, he should have known but we all make mistakes when a kids ourselves don't we? i just don't understand why they wont help someone out instead of ruining the life all together. He has out his hands up for what he did, its not 6 months where they have let us carry on seeing him and now bang no we cant.
Its messing with me and kids!
Sorry i am going on i just angry with treating him and me like this, he is not evil and would not hirt a fly he made a huge mistake.
I need advice on a legal planning meeting the held yestersday i was wondering could i get notes from what was said at this meeting as after this all this has happened.
Thank you again
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4256
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Please help! we just want to be a family
Dear Susan,
I am sorry to hear abour how you are feeling.
I am glad that you are cooperating with the contract-it will be recognised that you are both protecting your girls from potential sexual abuse-until your husband risk has been assessed no one will know whether he is high risk to them or low risk. But they have to assume-until they know otherwise-that he is high risk. I know this is hard to think about-given what you say about how nice he is.
You did the right thing by going to the police-if you hadn’t done so-and your partner was found out –then you may have been accused of failing to protect your girls-by putting your partner and your relationship with him before his possible risk to them.
I think you are understandably anxious as you don’t know so much about the child protection process and are worried about losing your girls.
To get more information about the possible risks and the process of being assessed when there are concerns about internet pornography, you could also have a look at : Lucy Faithfull Foundation. They work with families in your situation and have information about internet abuse. You can also speak to them confidentially on their free advice line about the type of support that is available to you and your husband. This might make you understand the process and feel a bit better.
I am really worried that you say you are hiding your pills-which is what you do when you are considering overdosing. As you recognise-your girls need you to be there for them. You need to look after yourself to be able to look after them.
As I suggested before-speak to the Samaritans (you can do confidentially). They are available all the time and are experts in helping people in a crisis. NHS direct also have information about local help for people who are in a crisis. Or can you speak to someone in your family or a friend?
You say that children services held a legal planning meeting. Although you would not have access to the minutes of this-the social worker should tell you what was agreed at the meeting. Ask her for this information.
They may be planning what should happen-if you or your partner were to breach the agreement-and for example, allow him unsupervised contact with your girls –they may consider what legal options they have. Children service can only remove children from their parents if the parent with parental responsibility consents or if they have a court order. All mothers have parental responsibly and most fathers will as well.
If this is a worry-please look at our advice sheet 9 about child protection and 15 about court proceedings.
: advice sheets Or post back with further questions or call us on our free and confidential advice line for in-depth support on 0808 8010366.
Best wishes,
Suzie
I am sorry to hear abour how you are feeling.
I am glad that you are cooperating with the contract-it will be recognised that you are both protecting your girls from potential sexual abuse-until your husband risk has been assessed no one will know whether he is high risk to them or low risk. But they have to assume-until they know otherwise-that he is high risk. I know this is hard to think about-given what you say about how nice he is.
You did the right thing by going to the police-if you hadn’t done so-and your partner was found out –then you may have been accused of failing to protect your girls-by putting your partner and your relationship with him before his possible risk to them.
I think you are understandably anxious as you don’t know so much about the child protection process and are worried about losing your girls.
To get more information about the possible risks and the process of being assessed when there are concerns about internet pornography, you could also have a look at : Lucy Faithfull Foundation. They work with families in your situation and have information about internet abuse. You can also speak to them confidentially on their free advice line about the type of support that is available to you and your husband. This might make you understand the process and feel a bit better.
I am really worried that you say you are hiding your pills-which is what you do when you are considering overdosing. As you recognise-your girls need you to be there for them. You need to look after yourself to be able to look after them.
As I suggested before-speak to the Samaritans (you can do confidentially). They are available all the time and are experts in helping people in a crisis. NHS direct also have information about local help for people who are in a crisis. Or can you speak to someone in your family or a friend?
You say that children services held a legal planning meeting. Although you would not have access to the minutes of this-the social worker should tell you what was agreed at the meeting. Ask her for this information.
They may be planning what should happen-if you or your partner were to breach the agreement-and for example, allow him unsupervised contact with your girls –they may consider what legal options they have. Children service can only remove children from their parents if the parent with parental responsibility consents or if they have a court order. All mothers have parental responsibly and most fathers will as well.
If this is a worry-please look at our advice sheet 9 about child protection and 15 about court proceedings.
: advice sheets Or post back with further questions or call us on our free and confidential advice line for in-depth support on 0808 8010366.
Best wishes,
Suzie
Re: Please help! we just want to be a family
Hi suzie l,
I did start looking up to things and thought its the best thing to do as for protecting the children. So everyone is involed and going meetibg thursday. But today has gone so wrong that i am sitting here crying for help!!
I walked home at 5 with the girls and a woman outside my house, said she was the new child service lady taken over, she wanted to come in i did ask if she could come back only because house was a tip fue to daughter being very ill and just got her from doctors. I said she could wait a min while i sort out children. Anyways answer was no as she needed to talk to me.
We sat down and she handed a letter to me saying there will be a meeting new monday 22nd april to discuss if they need to apply for court to get children taken off me. This cant happen i will beg anyone, i am their mother and i love them with all my heart. I feel like i am screaming and no one is helping me. I said i didn't understand as they have all said they have no problem with me looking after children its because i am not taking it serious enough.
I don't understand how much i have to do! I am on courses like first aid and healthy eatting as looks good they said, i have moved him out of house, girls reports at school brilliant. I have done everything they have said. Can you pkease help me i cant lose them i will die before that. Why are they doing this? They said this would not happen and it has.
I did ask if he could go to art craft day as thats why they think i am not taking serious, but i only asked as he was allowed to puck children up at school with me as this was allowed. I don't know why its got to this? Also the social woman did not make sense, she said police has said its serious as they level pictures which i knew anyways. But she aaid he has 2 and 1s and 7s and its 1-5 i said this and ahe would answer me. Just said thats what police said, after she went she has also left her coat here my children had it and her 2 work phones are in pocket with some pound coins. I am so worried what may be happening here, but to be fair this lady is meant to be a professorial person and people may need her. Can you please help me out as i am so confused upset and in of need. Thank you again
I did start looking up to things and thought its the best thing to do as for protecting the children. So everyone is involed and going meetibg thursday. But today has gone so wrong that i am sitting here crying for help!!
I walked home at 5 with the girls and a woman outside my house, said she was the new child service lady taken over, she wanted to come in i did ask if she could come back only because house was a tip fue to daughter being very ill and just got her from doctors. I said she could wait a min while i sort out children. Anyways answer was no as she needed to talk to me.
We sat down and she handed a letter to me saying there will be a meeting new monday 22nd april to discuss if they need to apply for court to get children taken off me. This cant happen i will beg anyone, i am their mother and i love them with all my heart. I feel like i am screaming and no one is helping me. I said i didn't understand as they have all said they have no problem with me looking after children its because i am not taking it serious enough.
I don't understand how much i have to do! I am on courses like first aid and healthy eatting as looks good they said, i have moved him out of house, girls reports at school brilliant. I have done everything they have said. Can you pkease help me i cant lose them i will die before that. Why are they doing this? They said this would not happen and it has.
I did ask if he could go to art craft day as thats why they think i am not taking serious, but i only asked as he was allowed to puck children up at school with me as this was allowed. I don't know why its got to this? Also the social woman did not make sense, she said police has said its serious as they level pictures which i knew anyways. But she aaid he has 2 and 1s and 7s and its 1-5 i said this and ahe would answer me. Just said thats what police said, after she went she has also left her coat here my children had it and her 2 work phones are in pocket with some pound coins. I am so worried what may be happening here, but to be fair this lady is meant to be a professorial person and people may need her. Can you please help me out as i am so confused upset and in of need. Thank you again
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4256
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Please help! we just want to be a family
Hi Susan
Sorry to hear that you are continuing to find Children's Services involvement so difficult.
Due to the fact that the Local Authority have sought legal advice, and have been speaking to their lawyers, and have informed you that they may be planning to ask the court to make a decision about what should happen next, because they are concerned about your understanding and appreciation of their concerns, you need to take this threat very seriously.
Therefore, can I suggest that you seek urgent legal advice in relation to the children, so you can discuss all your legal options with an independent family lawyer who is ideally a member of the Children's Panel at http://www.lawsociety.org.uk.
Children's Services are not obliged to provide you a copy of the minutes of the legal planning meeting they hold with their solicitors, as this is confidential to them, just like the contents of your meeting with your own solicitor will not be shared with them.
However, once you instruct a solictor to represent you, they will be able to request copies of all relevant assessments reports that have been undertaken, as part of the legal bundle. Alternatively, in court proceedings, this information will form part of the information available to the parties involved in any court action.
Please look after yourself, and consider speaking to your GP or the Samaritans as suggested.
Best Wishes
Suzie
Sorry to hear that you are continuing to find Children's Services involvement so difficult.
Due to the fact that the Local Authority have sought legal advice, and have been speaking to their lawyers, and have informed you that they may be planning to ask the court to make a decision about what should happen next, because they are concerned about your understanding and appreciation of their concerns, you need to take this threat very seriously.
Therefore, can I suggest that you seek urgent legal advice in relation to the children, so you can discuss all your legal options with an independent family lawyer who is ideally a member of the Children's Panel at http://www.lawsociety.org.uk.
Children's Services are not obliged to provide you a copy of the minutes of the legal planning meeting they hold with their solicitors, as this is confidential to them, just like the contents of your meeting with your own solicitor will not be shared with them.
However, once you instruct a solictor to represent you, they will be able to request copies of all relevant assessments reports that have been undertaken, as part of the legal bundle. Alternatively, in court proceedings, this information will form part of the information available to the parties involved in any court action.
Please look after yourself, and consider speaking to your GP or the Samaritans as suggested.
Best Wishes
Suzie
Re: Please help! we just want to be a family
Hi Suzie,
Meeting happened and children on Child Protection plan i am upset and confused but if its to protect the children then i am happy. I have split from partner as this is to much for me and right now i want to not stress and look after my daughters.
I am angry with social worker as still not making sense, after turning ip on thursday saying police have viewed computer and said there were level 7s on the images. I said they only go to 5 she didn't no what to said and changed subject. She also said if my partner was never to be with children what would i do? I said i am not sure just take one step at a time. The next day she came to collect her coat and phones she left at my house. She asked if i was to chose my partner or children what would i chose i said children straight away. She sai that was a better answer than the day before asking me. I said to her she asked me a total different question. Also at the meetting the police were there and said they haven't even looked at computers and will still take months. I am getting told 2 differnet stories!
I feel better though, i worry about my ex partner as he is in a state and very depressed i hope i do not find him hung to be fair. But i have to think for my children and i am doing everything for them. They have no problems with my parenting but think i may not be protecting them. O have said i am but i think i am talking to brick wall and i rather i show them what i can do and be strong for my girls.
I am courses and doing everything which i set up myself which shows them and just carrying on normal, i need to know how long they will be on this plan for as i just want to get on with my life now and the girls. We are a happy family and they have said that i just want to forget all this and be normal...
Anyways thank you for talking to be hopefully this will work out and i can carry on being a great mother to my girls, i was in such a mess last week with them sw turning up here and handing me letters and gods knows what else. I do have meeting tomorrow seeing if they need to make a court order, do you think they will? I haven't broken any rules just i kept asking why my partner couldn't see children but now we have broken up and i have moved up.
Thank you again
Meeting happened and children on Child Protection plan i am upset and confused but if its to protect the children then i am happy. I have split from partner as this is to much for me and right now i want to not stress and look after my daughters.
I am angry with social worker as still not making sense, after turning ip on thursday saying police have viewed computer and said there were level 7s on the images. I said they only go to 5 she didn't no what to said and changed subject. She also said if my partner was never to be with children what would i do? I said i am not sure just take one step at a time. The next day she came to collect her coat and phones she left at my house. She asked if i was to chose my partner or children what would i chose i said children straight away. She sai that was a better answer than the day before asking me. I said to her she asked me a total different question. Also at the meetting the police were there and said they haven't even looked at computers and will still take months. I am getting told 2 differnet stories!
I feel better though, i worry about my ex partner as he is in a state and very depressed i hope i do not find him hung to be fair. But i have to think for my children and i am doing everything for them. They have no problems with my parenting but think i may not be protecting them. O have said i am but i think i am talking to brick wall and i rather i show them what i can do and be strong for my girls.
I am courses and doing everything which i set up myself which shows them and just carrying on normal, i need to know how long they will be on this plan for as i just want to get on with my life now and the girls. We are a happy family and they have said that i just want to forget all this and be normal...
Anyways thank you for talking to be hopefully this will work out and i can carry on being a great mother to my girls, i was in such a mess last week with them sw turning up here and handing me letters and gods knows what else. I do have meeting tomorrow seeing if they need to make a court order, do you think they will? I haven't broken any rules just i kept asking why my partner couldn't see children but now we have broken up and i have moved up.
Thank you again
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4256
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Please help! we just want to be a family
Hi Susan
Thank your for updating your post.
Well done for making such a difficult but brave decision, to separate from your partner, at a time when Children's Services have concerns about his risk to your children, so you can focus on continuing to prioritise their needs.
If you can concentrate on working towards the child protection plan, and what is being asked of you, to demonstrate your parenting skills, at this time, you can't go far wrong.
Remember, the assessments are ongoing, and whilst none of us can predict what may happen in the future, one of the key areas where the Local Authority seek legal advice - or consider court action - is not always the nature of the concerns raised about a child, but to what extent a parent is willing to listen to, (or acknowledge them), but whether they are willing to cooperate with social workers and professionals.
So at this time, for what it is worth, I think you are making the right decision.
Remember, post back here at any time, or if you need to speak to an adviser, feel free to contact the Family Rights Group advice line on 0808 801 0366 Monday to Friday 09.30 to 03.00.
Best Wishes
Suzie
Thank your for updating your post.
Well done for making such a difficult but brave decision, to separate from your partner, at a time when Children's Services have concerns about his risk to your children, so you can focus on continuing to prioritise their needs.
If you can concentrate on working towards the child protection plan, and what is being asked of you, to demonstrate your parenting skills, at this time, you can't go far wrong.
Remember, the assessments are ongoing, and whilst none of us can predict what may happen in the future, one of the key areas where the Local Authority seek legal advice - or consider court action - is not always the nature of the concerns raised about a child, but to what extent a parent is willing to listen to, (or acknowledge them), but whether they are willing to cooperate with social workers and professionals.
So at this time, for what it is worth, I think you are making the right decision.
Remember, post back here at any time, or if you need to speak to an adviser, feel free to contact the Family Rights Group advice line on 0808 801 0366 Monday to Friday 09.30 to 03.00.
Best Wishes
Suzie
Re: Please help! we just want to be a family
Hi Suzie
Went to meeting yesterday went okay said if i fail to do the thibgs in plan i will lose children really, which i wont as i am willing to do all amd will not lose my daughters!
My ex partner is moving away back where we used to live a few miles from where i am so thats brilliant news really as i just want to get on with my life now and children. I made a silly mistake thinking this would help sending him to police and getting cp help and then staying together as i thought if he got help we all could go on. Big mistake as its back fired on me to be fair as all this has happened. I should have seen it and aleven though daughters have always come first i should have also walked away for partner!
I just thought instead of breaking a family up to instead get support and help for this sort of thibg i have now realised that i just need to proctect my children and he needs to go and get help and them see what happens when computers are searched and he is or not charged.
I am still very scared to what may happen with cp and they do think i am not thinking the right way to this and as i asked things like can he come to art craft amd school in feb that i was putting children at risk. Its not i didn't understand its the fact i thought it was okay as he was allowed to see children with me as long its in pubic. They didn't think it was a risk themselves so i am not getting the blame for this.
I should have just walked away from him at first but i thought of how happy we were as a family, if i didn't think it was serious i would have not told him to hand himself in. I thought i was doing the right thing by getting help. Anyways i am doing everything now to protect girls and have to have some test thing to see about what my child hood did to me or something. As i was abused by my father and was on a child protection plan as a child this has not helped my case really. But as i have said it makes me sick what my ex partner did and i sent him the police, i also see though that he is not a bad person and did this as a cry for help and a child himself at age 14. I just want mine and daughters lofe back and will prove to them i have always protected them and will until i am dead and buried. Thank you for support i hope in tome to come i can be left alone again and start again.
Went to meeting yesterday went okay said if i fail to do the thibgs in plan i will lose children really, which i wont as i am willing to do all amd will not lose my daughters!
My ex partner is moving away back where we used to live a few miles from where i am so thats brilliant news really as i just want to get on with my life now and children. I made a silly mistake thinking this would help sending him to police and getting cp help and then staying together as i thought if he got help we all could go on. Big mistake as its back fired on me to be fair as all this has happened. I should have seen it and aleven though daughters have always come first i should have also walked away for partner!
I just thought instead of breaking a family up to instead get support and help for this sort of thibg i have now realised that i just need to proctect my children and he needs to go and get help and them see what happens when computers are searched and he is or not charged.
I am still very scared to what may happen with cp and they do think i am not thinking the right way to this and as i asked things like can he come to art craft amd school in feb that i was putting children at risk. Its not i didn't understand its the fact i thought it was okay as he was allowed to see children with me as long its in pubic. They didn't think it was a risk themselves so i am not getting the blame for this.
I should have just walked away from him at first but i thought of how happy we were as a family, if i didn't think it was serious i would have not told him to hand himself in. I thought i was doing the right thing by getting help. Anyways i am doing everything now to protect girls and have to have some test thing to see about what my child hood did to me or something. As i was abused by my father and was on a child protection plan as a child this has not helped my case really. But as i have said it makes me sick what my ex partner did and i sent him the police, i also see though that he is not a bad person and did this as a cry for help and a child himself at age 14. I just want mine and daughters lofe back and will prove to them i have always protected them and will until i am dead and buried. Thank you for support i hope in tome to come i can be left alone again and start again.
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pigletsfriend
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Mon Apr 22, 2013 1:00 pm
Re: Please help! we just want to be a family
make sure that you do all the things that you are asked of them keep the girls happy talk to them about good stuff like school and take them out for walks to the park ect and when or if they talk to your children then they will have all good and nice things to say. i have been there and been throw it and i had to fight to get mine back i spend more time with them now so if i slip up at all then it is beter to here good things you have been up to with the children that is just a tip!!!! mine now older and they are not ivoved so it is just a idea do not speak t othem about any thing about what is going on if they ask say you are not sure or something you can tell them the truth when they are older about the grown up stuff. do not let them here any converstaions you make about what the socail worker says in front of them so they can not tell the socal worker what they have heard that is real y not a good idea.
good luck with all this and enjoy your children!!!!
good luck with all this and enjoy your children!!!!
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