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[SUNNY68]

Hello this is my first time using this site
My son met his girlfriend who previously had a child taken away and put into care she was 17 the little boy is now 5 and has since been adopted , she was in a abusive and drug related relationship and to be honest she is still a bit immature so I would say at the age of 17 she would have been very easily mislead
She became pregnant and about 6 wks prior to my grandson being born her and my son were notified that the child would possibly be put into care till they did various checks ( not sure why they waited till 6wks before he was born) was just sprung on them , my son was attacked and has spent years fighting mental illness which he has come on so well with the help of his doctors so i am guessing they were holding my son's g/f past against her and also his illness
Both sets of grandparents didn't sit back for a minute so we all gathered and met with social work and said we would work with them on the understanding that the baby stays in one of our houses
thus being my sons g/f mothers house where she is the main carer.
My son's doctor has given the social work good feedback to say that he manages his illness very well... they are more than happy for him to spend as much time with the baby as he would like... though his g/f still only gets supervised contact everyday but never overnight ... we have seen as a family how well she manages my grandson and social work keep telling us one thing and doing another ,, we never get straight answers how they wont let her stay at least a couple of nights a week to get into the routine of when the baby is returned , they tell us all 6wks then its increased to 12wks and after this time we will probably get told that they want to do further checks .. my grandson is over 3mths old and has never been given to any of them unsupervised not even for a few hours ... I for one would never let my grandson out of my sight if I thought that they couldnt cope having him on their own for a while .... they have been at weekly meetings sometimes 3/4 times a week where they get supervised by social work and get positive feedback everytime but nothing seems to be moving , they are missing out on so much for a mistake that was made of someone who was very young , this is a very abbreviated version of all that has happend..what I want to know is there rights and what the social work are allowed to do even though all grandparents are agreeing of overnight contacts for mum , can we demand that they follow our requests... my grandson isnt on any register ,, my son and his g/f did this on a voluntry basis

[David Roth]

Hi SUNNY68, and welcome to the Family Rights Group discussion forum for family and friends carers.

You are writing about about your grandson, who is living in a family and friends care arrangement, with his other set of grandparents. I know you said that you have given us a very abbreviated account of what has been happening, which is probably why I do have some queries about the situation.

Firstly, is the baby under a child protection plan? If he is, then there ought to be regular case conferences to review the plan, and work towards him no longer being under the child protection plan. One of those meetings might be a good opportunity to ask how the local authority intends to move things forward - the present arrangement was clearly only a temporary solution, while assessments of your son and his girlfriend's ability to provide safe and appropriate care for their son were carried out. You could ask for feedback on how this assessment has been going, and suggest that if it has been going well then the parents could start to have more unsupervised time with their baby.

I also wonder whether the local authority has been treating the placement with other grandparents as accommodation of a looked after child, in other words are they being treated as the child's foster carers? Or do they say it is a private arrangement between the grandparents and the child's carers? If the child is looked after, and they are fostering him, then they ought to be getting a fostering allowance, and going through a full fostering assessment. If it is being treated as a private arrangement, then they can still provide some financial help, but they don't have to.

If your grandson is under a child protection plan, then it is best to keep to the terms of the plan which has been agreed will keep him safe. I would suggest that you use the child protection case conferences to ask how the plan is being moved forward, as suggested above. If he is not under a child protection plan, then I suggest you talk to the social workers about what they would do if the parents took the child or had some unsupervised time with him. If they have a high level of concern, they might say they would apply for care proceedings, and want to place the child somewhere else. If they have a lower level of concern, and feel the assessments have been positive, then maybe you could talk about a managed return to the parents.

Whatever you do, it is important to work openly with the social workers, even if you have been finding it frustrating to work with them so far. It is important to ascertain exactly what their concerns are, and try to work together to find ways of addressing these concerns.

As you say, the situation is complicated, and it may be useful to call our advice line for a discussion. The number is free to all landlines and most mobile networks: it is 0808 801 0366, and the line is open 9.30-3.30 Mon-Fri.

In the meantime, you may also find some of our advice sheets useful to read, particularly those in Section C (Child Protection) and Section D (Looked After Children): http://www.frg.org.uk/need-help-or-advice/advice-sheets