I'm having a baby with a sex offender

[Jellybean123]

He lives with me at the moment and there is a 12 year old in the house he’s just not aloud to be left alone with anyone under 16, he’s on the sex offenders for 10 years.
Social services are already involved just wanted to know what other people went through

[Need help 2021]

Basically what they would want to do is assessments and if he says he can’t live with under 16 I will be honest with you I don’t think socail will let him stay with the baby they will say he is a risk my husband didn’t even have this condition and they made it clear that he can stay with his son and as I was keep on prosecuting him they took me to court and I then had to chose between the two such a hard thing to do becaue I love my husband soo much and I only have the one child with him so we can’t live to getter until my son is 18 years old he is only 3 and if he does coke of the register before they don’t care it’s the fact he was on the register no matter how many course you do and Wht you do it’s the fact he is on the register he is a risk that Wht they say

[Toughlife]

Hi
I am a dad of two kids and on the register for 10 years. I was convicted last year. When I was arrested the social services imposed supervised access to my kids. I was given a suspended sentence and my probation officer made a referral to the social services telling them that I have done good work in rehabilitation and I am not a danger to my kids and I should be allowed unsupervised access. The social services allowed that I can take my kids anywhere on my own without supervision. I wish you all the best and it is possible.

[Need help 2021]

If you don’t mind me asking you why was you ok the register and did you have to split up with your partner ?

[Toughlife]

I am in the register for sexual communication with a minor. This was an adult posing as a child. I am not trying to justify that what I did was okay. When I was arrested my bail conditions stated that I was not to live in a house with children under 18 so I had to move away from my family as they investigated. After 3 months they dropped the bail conditions and I was allowed back to my house but social services still insisted on supervised access and they closed my case. My case went to court and I was convicted and put on register for 10 years and given a suspended sentence. I did my rehabilitation with my probation officer and completed it within 2 months. My sopo doesn’t say that I can’t look after my kids and that is what the probation and the police said they can’t see why I can’t look after my kids on my own. The probation made a referral and social services did an assessment and within a month they allowed me unsupervised access. This is a life line because I can take my kids anywhere on my own and do stuff. If I may ask, what offence did your boyfriend commit?
The police offender manager told us that he knows another person who is on the register and he looks after his kids. Even the judge at the court said that am not restricted. The social services will look at what is best for the kids and be honest with them. I have showed remorse on my mistakes and I will never forget it and I have lost a lot in terms of a good career that I had but I need to be strong and move on and be there for my kids and wife who forgave me. I hope that all works for you and never be told that social services can’t allow him to look on his child on his own.

[Need help 2021]

You my husband was charged last year for indecent images On his phone he was on a adult group chat and people were sending it and he forwarded to his friend and that’s how he got caught because Facebook blocked him after a year the police came and did there investigation and then he was charged last year in April his condition is that he is on the register for 10 years and he has some app dirtied on his phone and unpaid work but socail have been a night mare all they have done is dig and dig and makeing him accpect that he has interest in kids or Lucy faithfull will not do the assment which is soo unfair and I was tould to chose between my husband and son my son is only 3 years old until he is 18 it’s a very long time and it’s been soo crazy and stressful I know hw is not that type of person but what can I say I have to do everything that I can’t to protect my son he don’t have any conditions that say he can’t be with kids he still can go to the park and stuff my socail can control over his son what they can and can’t do . Are you still allowed to see you wife and stuff do they know you are still together and if you don’t mind me asking how old are your kids ?

[Toughlife]

It would be probably be better to inbox me. I don’t know how it works but I would be willing to answer all your questions with all honesty and I hope they would help.

[Need help 2021]

I have just inbox you

[Toughlife]

Did you get my message?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi I’m having a baby with someone who is on the child sex offenders list, I just wanted to know where I stand. Child services are already involved but I just want to know if we will be able to settle down and have the child together or someone who’s gone through the same thing could let me know how they got on with child services and if the baby was taken away from them! Thank you I’m so upset and scared

Dear Jellybean123

Welcome to the parents’ forum and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am sorry that I was not able to reply to you sooner. I am replying to your three posts in this response.

First of all congratulations on your pregnancy. I understand that this is a stressful time for you too though as the baby’s father has been convicted for child sexual offences and he is on the sex offenders’ register for 10 years.

You are worried that you may have to separate from your partner or risk the baby being removed from your care.

This FAQ summarises the steps that must be taken before a child can be removed from their parent/s. One option to prevent this can be that the person who is the cause for concern moves out so that the child can remain at home.

You were seeking the views of other parents who have been in similar situations and a couple of parents have responded to you which I hope has been helpful. It can be very useful to hear of others’ experiences but remember that every family’s situation will be different and so there can be different outcomes depending on the level of risk and the protective factors identified. It is also crucial that you and your partner engage fully with children’s services, understand the risks and that you prioritise your baby’s safety and welfare. As the concerns are about your partner’s behaviour, children’s services will look to you in particular to be the protective parent.

You state that children’s services are involved but provide little detail. You don’t say if the 12 year old who lives with you is your child, your partner’s or another family member. Your partner is currently living with you but cannot be left alone with the child.

Children’s services are likely to be completing a pre-birth assessment with you. You may find this information helpful. Your partner may be having a risk assessment.

It is not possible to predict the outcome of an assessment but the focus must be on the baby’s needs, their parents’ understanding of their needs and ability to keep them safe from serious harm rather than on the adults’ relationships.

You may find it helpful to contact the Stop it Now confidential helpline as they advise partners of offenders. You could explore courses that promote your protective skills e.g. Women as Protectors course. Your partner can also contact Stop it Now to query what work he can do, now that he is an expectant father. The Parents Protect website is a very useful resource too.

If you have a query about children’s services’ involvement please post back or call our confidential freephone advice service on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm.

Best wishes

Suzie