Lack of Support

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Murray72
Posts: 118
Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:48 am

Lack of Support

Post by Murray72 » Sun Mar 18, 2012 11:43 am

After having a child in care for the past 30 months, I can honestly say there is no Support for Parents who lose a Child to Social Care, There is no support groups around and Children's Services do not give a hoot.

I noticed when looking through the Discussion boards for Carer's on the FRG site they had plenty of support, despite most of those post been extremely negative regarding contact with Birth Families, is my contact with my Child seen merely as a nuisance that inconveniences the Foster Carer I sincerely hope not, I cannot see how such negative comments can not rub off on the Child they look after.

I am not an angry or anti Children's Service parent like many but seeing those comments about such petty little things made my blood boil. And why do they take the moral high ground?? MY Child was removed and has never experienced any abuse this is acknowledge throughout my whole case. Yet they are painting every parent in this situation as drug addled sex offenders.

The point I wish to make is quite simply where is the support for parents who are experiencing the most traumatic events anybody can imagine??

TKH
Posts: 26
Joined: Sat Aug 20, 2011 11:59 pm

Re: Lack of Support

Post by TKH » Sun Mar 18, 2012 3:17 pm

I have managed to hang on to my children and have still felt unsupported. I am now in the same situation as I was except that my children are more needy and damaged because of the threat of being removed that hung over them for nearly two years. I get some support from Justice for families site x

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 3265
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Lack of Support

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:06 am

Hi Murray 72

My name is Suzie, an advisor from the Family Rights Group.

Thank you for your post.

Sorry that you seem so unsupported at the current time.

You express some comments about the foster carer's role. They are employed to care for children but also to work in partnership with parents, not to express unhelpful comments or to make you feel that you are being judged.

Facilitating or promoting contact can be an important role of a foster carer. If you have problems around this, may I suggest you contact the allocated social worker, and with your solicitor.

If you would like to receive more specific advice about your situation, contact or the care proceedings relating to your child, can I suggest you could either put more details here or contact the Family Rights Group advice line on 0808 801 0366 Monday to Friday 09.30 am to 03.30 pm.

Best Wishes


Suzie

carla150
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2012 7:44 pm

Re: Lack of Support

Post by carla150 » Fri Jun 15, 2012 12:08 am

Hi
I have set up a website to provide support for parents who are battling social services in the hope that many people will join,I am doing my best to get the site up and known about so need all the help I can get.
Please join us and spread the word!
many thanks

http://parentsagainstchildrensservices.webs.com/

Murray72
Posts: 118
Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:48 am

Re: Lack of Support

Post by Murray72 » Fri Jun 15, 2012 12:42 pm

Hi Carla,

Thank you for the link, I hope the site is successful, I have found many of the current site's are very anti Children's Services and do not benefit parents in the long run, I do not want to be part of that. I made lots of error's previously and accept where I went wrong. I will have a look at the site.

Murray

warthhog123
Posts: 152
Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2012 12:07 pm

Re: Lack of Support

Post by warthhog123 » Sat Jun 16, 2012 9:19 am

Hi Carla i will look at the site, I am very much on my own as my latest post suggests, foster carer is working solely with social care and im kept out of the loop!
Foster carer doesnt speak with me, and looks very much like im fighting sc and foster carer this is not suppose to be the case.
I like murray have read lots about anti social care and remained sceptical but im afraid i am know one of those people too. Having read contact statement by sc all i have said has been distorted but i do get chance to respond!

carla150
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2012 7:44 pm

Re: Lack of Support

Post by carla150 » Sat Jun 16, 2012 12:24 pm

Hi
I know what you are saying, my site isnt about being anti childrens services its about helping and supporting people who have experienced what I have.
I am new to site building so bear with me!
If you join as a member you can link as friends which I hope will give people the support they need in a lonely abyss when dealing with CS and FC
On a positive note, I complained to CS and have had 14 of my 25 complaints upheld, 7 were not upheld, 4 were no findings.
I have now proceeded to stage 3 of the complaints process, with 8 of the 11 that werent held in my favour and have provided evidence to support them so hopefull they will be ruled as upheld in the future.
I have dont this off my own back and won, CS poor documentation lets them down badly, they have been orderd to formally apologise to me and we are taking them to court for breaching our court order, with their lack of professionalism and poor notes and documentation, we are hoping to win!
I am a qualified nurse so know all about documentation and its importance, this is where I have been able to trip CS up and prove their incompetence.
If I can help anyone else with this process I will gladly do so.
Any ideas for the new site would be greatly welcomed and do not hesitate to contact me if you think additional information on the site is needed

Thanks for your support, much appreciated

Carla

As11
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue Jul 20, 2021 9:14 am

Re: Lack of Support

Post by As11 » Wed Jul 21, 2021 1:06 pm

Unfortunately I think there a lack of support in general, you can ask for help and sometimes falls on deaf ears. You could maybe make a complaint that you have been made to feel this way I’m not sure how you would go about that. If you feel like your not being listened to then ask who should talk to so that you are listened to. I hope you can get the support you are wanting you might have to fight for it unfortunately it seems that is the way things are at the moment. X

HH_Dad
Posts: 18
Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2019 7:05 pm

Re: Lack of Support

Post by HH_Dad » Thu Jul 22, 2021 1:29 pm

I appreciate this is an old thread which has recently been 'bumped', but I agree entirely with the original poster:

The point I wish to make is quite simply where is the support for parents who are experiencing the most traumatic events anybody can imagine??


Almost three years ago my wife and I were thrust into the most traumatic of situations when a hospital alleged our 13-month old son had 'multiple fractures'. We repeatedly told them he had not been harmed and had been his cheerful, happy, self, but the doctor involved wrote a scathing (and inaccurate) report on us and reported us to Social Services. They came in heavy-handed and - despite the fact both my wife and I had never been in any kind of trouble before, never arrested, both work etc - treated us like the scum of the earth.

At the start of it Social Services sent one member of staff round to our house to make us (yes, make us) sign a Section 20 Agreement. We had never heard of this, we were not given time to seek legal advice and nor we were given a copy of the form. Yet the person who came to see us said 'you'll sign this form now or we will put your children [we have two] into Foster Care today'. At the end of the terrible ordeal it was confirmed by the Head of our Local Authority that they had not followed protocol; they should have sent two people to speak to us, we should have been given the opportunity to seek legal advice and we most definitely should have been given a copy of the signed form.

But - my point is - this turned our world upside down. There was no help/advice or support offered. No phone number to ring, no website to look at, no leaflets to read. It was just a case of 'we think you're scum and this is what we're going to do'.

The independent expert in our case reported back three months later confirming our son did not have multiple fractures and he was 'unequivocal' in that there was no suggestion of child abuse. We have spoken to other parents who have suffered the same treatment. I have said this before and will say it again; when is something going to be done about Social (Children's) Services in this country? It is disgusting what they are allowed to get away with.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 3265
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Lack of Support

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Sep 01, 2021 3:26 pm

Dear HH_Dad

Thank you for continuing to post and for supporting others on the Board who are experiencing similar situations to your own.

Your point was about support for parents in similar situations and we, in a previous response signposted you to our Charter of Mutual Expectations.

Complaining too may be helpful, here is information on our website about how to do this.

I understand that yours and other’s situations were and are very difficult, stressful and as you have said ‘traumatic’, Parents Accused and Child Protection Resource are two websites that might be helpful (we have signposted you to these sites too – they may be useful for others).

Best wishes

Suzie

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