How do you get support when you are alone

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Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:34 pm

How do you get support when you are alone

Post by lostsheep » Thu Dec 15, 2011 9:28 pm

My life is in a mess, its a crazy situation, so here goes.

Some man ended up texting me and a lot of messages were exchanged, I knew this man was a paedo, I questioned him about this, and reported it to the police, who then had me in on facilitating a child sex offence, on bail.

They got social workers involved, who then put child(6) on a child protection plan, then they said I was not cooperating with them and they were unable to work with me, so I was served with papers one night saying they wanted to put her in foster care, I was going mental. the social workers, twisted every word I had said, so did the police, end result, my child is then on a residence order with her grandmother and interim care order with authority.

I am going crazy, there is nothing I can do, the solicitor advised me due to the texts etc this man had sent me that the judge would not let her return so I had no choice, at the moment I get to see her weekend with contact centre worker.

I am going crazy with worry about the cops and all this, final judgement is set for May.

I have no criminal record, never had anything to do with social workers, but obviously the more you complain about social workers, they dont like this, and end result they took my child.

How do you find the strength to cope, I feel like I am under constant fear, its a mess, and worried sick about everything, when I would never ever put my child at harm froma sicko and I reported it to the police, please dont judge me on conversing with this sicko because I know I am suffering for it, its just I cannot see a way forward.

Have met with the long term social worker today, everything takes ages, tried to make an appointment with the guardian who now says it will be january, social worker is on leave now, its insane, why do they take so long? when all I want to do is to comply to get my child home where she belongs, I hate the fact that she is at my mums, in court on 22nd dec to find out about future contact/christmas, at the moment I am not allowed to my mums.

I cannot bear the thought that my daughter could be gone for 5 more months, plus then who knows what these crazy people might say, seen as they put untruths in at the beginning.

I never thought in my wildest dreams I would ever be involved in all this crazy stuff or have a social workers, its a nightmare.

I have to undergo a pysch evaluation which I seen the questions and they are not nice and all sexual related, I really think I will be going insane soon.

No one can help, I have been to my doctors who in the first instance gave me sleeping pills and a few diazapam, now I dont want to get more medicine cause I know they will be getting my medical records and using anything against me.

I am a single parent, my daughters father is useless and lives in america, I have no one.

I tried to ask my doctor for counselling but they say there is nothing they can offer, you call the samaritans and its not really any help.

I really feel panicky all the time, sick in my stomach, and its just awful.

its a whole mess and I dont see any way clear.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: How do you get support when you are alone

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Dec 16, 2011 5:32 pm

Hi Lost Sheep,

I’m sorry that you are so distressed about your current situation.

Just to let you know, because your daughter is under an Interim Care Order (ICO), I have moved your post to the “Do you have a child in care?” topic, as hopefully, more people in a similar situation will see it there and be able to help you.

Just to clarify, are you still on bail? Criminal law is not something we can advise about but if the police are still involved and you don’t already have one, I would recommend you get some specialist advice from a criminal law solicitor. If you need help finding a solicitor, you can look at the Law Society website. If you put your postcode in and “criminal law” as the area of law, it will find solicitors local to you. Do remember that any criminal proceedings are completely separate from childcare proceedings so one can continue even if the other comes to an end.

Also, I presume you are not having contact with this man anymore?

Regarding the counselling, could you perhaps see a different doctor in your surgery to see if they are more understanding and will refer you? I would also recommend that you speak to your doctor before you stop taking your medication to see what effect that might have on you.

Also, it is likely that Children’s Services (CS), the new name for social services, would be far more concerned to see that you are not taking medication that has been prescribed to help with your anxiety than by the fact that you have been prescribed this medication in the first place. It is positive that you have sought help for yourself.

Regardless of how you feel about the social worker (SW), you must work with them as best you can. Being obstructive/difficult will not help you, although this doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say. I know it can be very frustrating waiting for appointments with professionals and generally there is more delays over the Christmas period when people are working fewer hours. If something urgent comes up while your SW is on leave there will be a duty SW covering that you could speak to. They will only deal with urgent matter though.

In terms of how long the case as a whole takes, the Court sets this timetable and is guided by rules on timescales. There is more information about this in our care proceedings advice sheet.

I hope this information helps but if you have anymore questions, please post back.

Best wishes


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