I had my kids taken off me due to me taking my 16 month to the hospital as he wasn't using his hand to crawl when I took him they did a x ray that showed his wrist was fractured! They asked if he had fallen or had a accident as he hadn't and couldn't say how he had done it they decided to do a full body x ray! I was happy with them to do so but to my horror they found other fractures in his legs!! I was so upset that I hadn't noticed!!! I was again asked if he had any accidents and as he hadn't I replied that he had no accidents at all!!! I hadn't noticed him in any discomfort he was always loving and happy with me!! Always settled well!!! I have been told they are non accidental I was so upset my baby boy had been hurt!!! I spent a number of days in hospital with him!!! He is at the moment in foster care but my mum is being assessed to have him until I find out if I can get him back!!!
Me and my ex partner are in the frame of hurting my son!! As I have never hurt my boy I believe it's my ex partner!! I ended the relationship after the findings I then started to realise how my son had changed towards my ex!! If I ever left a room where he was left with my ex he would scream!!! Even just getting out the car he would cry!!! At the time my ex would say its because I mard him and is mummy mard I believed it as it has always just been me and him no-one else before my partner came into my life!! My daughter has recently told me that when I have gone upstairs my ex has pinched my son on his ear and made him cry!! She has also said my ex pinched her on her hip!!! He didn't come to hospital with clothes or my medication and said to leave his name out of any matters about my son!!! He was abusive to me the last few months of our relationship!! My sons foster placement has said my son was distressed when left with her partner!!
I've been having contact with my kids and have nothing but positive feedback I'm pregnant with my exs child and due to give birth b4 final court hearing!! I have no idea if I will get them back!! I'm seeking help through domestic violence put my name forward for the freedom project!! I just don't no what else I can do to get my boy back!! I really need know if I have a good case of proving it wasn't me? And if I can do anything else to get them back!!!
What else can I do?
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4261
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: What else can I do?
Dear Nightmare
I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time in relation to the care proceedings involving your children. You have stated that they are now placed in foster care, after an unexplained injury to one of them. Furthermore, you have the added worry about what is being planned once the new baby is born.
You have stated that both you and your ex partner are no longer together after separating as a result of domestic abuse in the relationship, and you suspect from what your daughter has said to you, that he may have acted inappropriately towards her. Although you are yet to hear his response to these allegations, you do have some concerns of your own about his ability to provide safe care to the children.
As a result, you are both under suspicion of causing the injuries, which are being investigated. In the meantime, the foster carers have also raised some concerns about your baby becoming distressed in the presence of her husband, which leads you to believe that something untoward may have taken place with your ex partner. The court will ask for various assessments to take place to help them decide what should happen next.
Can I suggest you continue to cooperate with professionals and work closely with your solicitor so that you can plan a way forward together as part of the current court process.
If you wish to discuss your situation in more detail, please feel free to contact our advice line on 0808 801 0366 Monday to Friday 09.30 am to 03.00 pm.
Best Wishes
Suzie
I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time in relation to the care proceedings involving your children. You have stated that they are now placed in foster care, after an unexplained injury to one of them. Furthermore, you have the added worry about what is being planned once the new baby is born.
You have stated that both you and your ex partner are no longer together after separating as a result of domestic abuse in the relationship, and you suspect from what your daughter has said to you, that he may have acted inappropriately towards her. Although you are yet to hear his response to these allegations, you do have some concerns of your own about his ability to provide safe care to the children.
As a result, you are both under suspicion of causing the injuries, which are being investigated. In the meantime, the foster carers have also raised some concerns about your baby becoming distressed in the presence of her husband, which leads you to believe that something untoward may have taken place with your ex partner. The court will ask for various assessments to take place to help them decide what should happen next.
Can I suggest you continue to cooperate with professionals and work closely with your solicitor so that you can plan a way forward together as part of the current court process.
If you wish to discuss your situation in more detail, please feel free to contact our advice line on 0808 801 0366 Monday to Friday 09.30 am to 03.00 pm.
Best Wishes
Suzie
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ange301126
- Posts: 537
- Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:27 pm
Re: What else can I do?
dear nightmare, ask your G.P. if he will examine the possibility of brittle bone disease but be careful. Even though that disease existed in one very famous case , the mother was still accused of causing the harm to the child. I understand that the relevant material medical evidence was not revealed to court.
How could your partner possibly have broken all those bones without you knowing about it? You never missed the fractured hand,did you? Is it likely you would have missed all those breaks had they been caused deliberately? No,of course it isn't! When things are unlikely they are probably untrue. I would wait to hear what he says first. Has your daughter complained to you or is it just the social worker who says she has made claims against him?
What a situation you have on your hands .I hope it turns out okay.Keep in touch and follow Suzies advice and ,of course, now there will always be a doubt as to whether he did it or not so you might have to cut off all contact with him.
Please note ,what a social worker says is not always true and do not be fooled.Our key social worker was reporting to court that our child was avoiding men. When he left the case, the next one said he was showing an unhealthy attraction towards adult males. They will say anything . You will be able to tell after a short while if their aims are legitimate or not. In your case ,I hope they are.
Good luck!
How could your partner possibly have broken all those bones without you knowing about it? You never missed the fractured hand,did you? Is it likely you would have missed all those breaks had they been caused deliberately? No,of course it isn't! When things are unlikely they are probably untrue. I would wait to hear what he says first. Has your daughter complained to you or is it just the social worker who says she has made claims against him?
What a situation you have on your hands .I hope it turns out okay.Keep in touch and follow Suzies advice and ,of course, now there will always be a doubt as to whether he did it or not so you might have to cut off all contact with him.
Please note ,what a social worker says is not always true and do not be fooled.Our key social worker was reporting to court that our child was avoiding men. When he left the case, the next one said he was showing an unhealthy attraction towards adult males. They will say anything . You will be able to tell after a short while if their aims are legitimate or not. In your case ,I hope they are.
Good luck!
Re: What else can I do?
An independent has looked at my boys injuries and said that he would of been in discomfort when done but not after and with him not walking wouldn't of known!! I noticed his wrist and that's when I took him hospital!! My partner told me not to do so as he seemed in no pain but as he wasn't using it I did so!!! My son didn't like being left in a room with my ex partner he would cry but my partner would always say it's because I mard him to much!!! It's destroyed me finding that someone has hurt my gorgeous boy!! My ex partner also said when social we're asking who had been looking after my son he said to keep his name out of it!! My daughter has told me and my mum and at contact in front of one of the assessers!! I don't want to believe anyone would ever hurt my boy but how my ex has acted and how my son was with him I am starting to question if my ex has done something!!!
My ex wasn't happy about me becoming pregnant!! And my daughter and son are from a different relationship so he isn't there dad!! I just want answers!!! My kids are my world I will never give up until I get them back!!! I've been fighting since November and will carry on!!
My ex wasn't happy about me becoming pregnant!! And my daughter and son are from a different relationship so he isn't there dad!! I just want answers!!! My kids are my world I will never give up until I get them back!!! I've been fighting since November and will carry on!!
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ange301126
- Posts: 537
- Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:27 pm
Re: What else can I do?
dear nightmare, clearly you should break off all contact with him if you yourself believe he did it.You have a clear legal duty to protect your children as do CS.
If you wish to do your duty completely ,there is something else you can do! I advise you to report him to the Police immediately despite any difficulties it may cause you if you wish to keep your children.He may have previous you don't know about. It is your public duty. Tell the Police everything and give the names of any prospective witnesses including your daughter and the independent you mention. The Police will have to carry out a full criminal enquiry.
The CS may not do so.There is always a danger they will stray from correct procedures for their own reasons to the detriment of your children. Furthermore ,if you go to Police,they will never be able to claim,as they often do that you are unable to protect your children.
If you wish to do your duty completely ,there is something else you can do! I advise you to report him to the Police immediately despite any difficulties it may cause you if you wish to keep your children.He may have previous you don't know about. It is your public duty. Tell the Police everything and give the names of any prospective witnesses including your daughter and the independent you mention. The Police will have to carry out a full criminal enquiry.
The CS may not do so.There is always a danger they will stray from correct procedures for their own reasons to the detriment of your children. Furthermore ,if you go to Police,they will never be able to claim,as they often do that you are unable to protect your children.
Re: What else can I do?
I have cut all contact with my ex!! Since told they were non accidental injuries police are already involved!!! I just don't understand how anyone could hurt a child!! My son is so young!! I've been told that there may not be enough evidence for my ex to be charged with this!! As no one has seen such disgusting horrible attacks only the foster carer saying he wouldn't be left with a male and what my daughter said!!
I've been told a time of when the injuries took place but not actually days it looks like he did it in his care while I went 4 scans and midwife appointments!!! I can't believe I've lost EVERYTHING my boy is such a mummy's boy!!! Luckily my mum has my daughter and my son is going to be placed with her end of January!!! I just want them bk!!! I've been doing everything asked of me!! My assessments are all coming bk that I'm a great mum and the kids emotional well being while in my care is great!!! Surely they can see I haven't hurt my boy?
I've been told a time of when the injuries took place but not actually days it looks like he did it in his care while I went 4 scans and midwife appointments!!! I can't believe I've lost EVERYTHING my boy is such a mummy's boy!!! Luckily my mum has my daughter and my son is going to be placed with her end of January!!! I just want them bk!!! I've been doing everything asked of me!! My assessments are all coming bk that I'm a great mum and the kids emotional well being while in my care is great!!! Surely they can see I haven't hurt my boy?
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ange301126
- Posts: 537
- Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:27 pm
Re: What else can I do?
dear nightmare, I am pleased to hear the CS have agreed to let your mum have the children.It is a good sign. Carry on co-operating with them and you may be okay.I hope so.
If the Police decide to take no action because there is a lack of medical evidence or other evidence,it won't stop the social work concerns.Good luck. Have the CS said they are applying for a care-order yet or are they waiting until the Police and they have investigated fully first?
If the Police decide to take no action because there is a lack of medical evidence or other evidence,it won't stop the social work concerns.Good luck. Have the CS said they are applying for a care-order yet or are they waiting until the Police and they have investigated fully first?
Re: What else can I do?
I've been questioned by police and so has my ex partner!!! Because it's between me and my ex we r at the moment fighting it out in family court!!! My ex partner has now requested a DNA on our unborn!!! I'm due in court in feb!! R are waiting to hear my ex partners view he has obviously denied everything!!! The SC have half care over my son but my parents have gone for special guardianship on them!!! So by the time assessment is done I should have a out come!!!
It is getting harder being without my little boy!!! I just want him home!!! But at least he has been removed from care and put in my mums and dads care!!
It is getting harder being without my little boy!!! I just want him home!!! But at least he has been removed from care and put in my mums and dads care!!
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4261
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: What else can I do?
I am sorry that things are still up in the air about whether your children will be returning home to you.
It is good news, however, that your Mum and dad have been positively assessed to look after your children. Here is our advice sheet about special guardianship orders which I think you will find useful.
Best wishes,
Suzie
It is good news, however, that your Mum and dad have been positively assessed to look after your children. Here is our advice sheet about special guardianship orders which I think you will find useful.
Best wishes,
Suzie
Re: What else can I do?
Thank you!! I will read through it!!!
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