Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

I need some advice on safeguarding my son I have stopped contact several times but this is the longest contact was stopped end of September last year my son is 7 he’s autistic so He's vunreble , his dad a man whom I’ve had to take a previous retraining order on for harassment and obsessive behaviour towards me since we separated he won’t let go ! He has emotionally abused my two children one was from a previous relationship he’s said innopropiate things in front of both who both have additional needs even gone as far as speaking sexually about me in front of the eldest 12 at the time , he’s said to youngest he wants to get back with mummy cried in front of him , even said he uses my pillow at night to him this isn’t appropriate and has had a major impact on the children youngest very upset , he’s told the kids I steal their Dla and that they are paying for the family holidays I’m taking them on again very nasty things to put a wedge beetween me and the kids / this has gone on a long time I’ve stopped contact been to mediation then it starts again … youngest 6 at time aloud to use dangerous tools in dads company / even found video of fire entinquisher being used by him at 6 I was lost for words , found a photo of my son on sons phone of him bent over underpants up his bottom and apparently he said to my son pretend to be mummy / very disturbing this was all report to social services nothing was investigated , he’s still driving past my house (no evidence , also making fake social media accounts now I’m being taken to court for abduction for keeping my son safe I’m due in court first meeting with cafcas this week I need peoples opinions on if they will treat the matters serious and I’m hoping they don’t allow unsupervised access can anyone help I’m so worried and anxious x

Hi PNB786,

I am so glad you posted. The anxiety you are feeling is completely normal, but let me be very clear: You are not "abducting" your child.

Here is a breakdown of exactly where you stand and the specific steps you need to take for your Cafcass meeting.

1. The "Abduction" Threat is a Scare Tactic
Stopping contact to protect a vulnerable child from harm is not abduction. Family courts recognise a parent’s duty to safeguard.

The Reality: Abduction is hiding a child away or taking them out of the country. You are simply pausing contact due to risk while remaining at your home address.

The Legal Position: You are exercising your Parental Responsibility to protect an autistic child who cannot protect himself.

2. The "Disturbing Photo" (Your Major Red Flag)
You mentioned a photo of your son bent over with underwear up his bottom, with the comment "pretend to be mummy."

This is your strongest evidence. It is not just "nasty" behavior; it indicates Sexualised Behaviour and Grooming.

Strategy: When you speak to Cafcass, put this first. Do not bury it in a list of minor arguments.

Why Social Services missed it: Sadly, Social Services often close cases if they can't "prove" immediate harm. The Family Court operates differently—they look at risk. Just because Social Services closed it doesn't mean the Judge will ignore it.

3. Preparing for Cafcass: Facts vs. Feelings
Cafcass will call you for a "Safeguarding Letter" interview. To get them on your side, you need to sound like the "sensible, protective parent."

Write a Timeline: List dates and events clearly.

Separate Fact from Feeling:

Bad: "He makes me so angry when he drives past."

Good: "He engages in stalking behaviour which creates an unstable environment for the children."

Highlight the Autism: Explain that your son is vulnerable to manipulation and confusion. The "DLA/Stealing" comments are not just mean; they are Emotional Abuse of a disabled child.

4. Your Court Strategy: The "Scott Schedule"
At the first hearing, do not just agree to "supervised contact" in the corridor to be nice.

Ask for a "Finding of Fact" Hearing: Tell your solicitor (or the Judge) that the allegations—specifically the sexualised photo and the dangerous tools—are so serious that the Court must investigate them before contact can be safe.

The Scott Schedule: You will likely be asked to list the top 5 incidents.

The Sexualised Photo/Comment.

The Dangerous Tools (Physical Neglect).

The DLA/Financial Coercion (Emotional Abuse).

The Stalking/Harassment.

5. Script for the Cafcass Call
When they ask you what you want, say this:

"I support my son having a relationship with his father, but due to the sexualised incident and the physical neglect (dangerous tools), I believe unsupervised contact is currently unsafe. I am asking for professional supervised contact until a full Section 7 report and risk assessment is completed."

Summary
He is bullying you with legal words like "abduction." Ignore him.

Cafcass is your shield. Tell them about the photo immediately.

The Court is your filter. They are unlikely to order unsupervised access for a vulnerable autistic child when there are unresolved sexual safeguarding concerns.
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For full transparency, I am not an official adviser. I am a parent with lived experience of the family court system, offering strategic guidance. Always consult with a solicitor regarding ongoing court proceedings.

PNB786 wrote: Mon Jan 12, 2026 3:12 pm I need some advice on safeguarding my son I have stopped contact several times but this is the longest contact was stopped end of September last year my son is 7 he’s autistic so He's vunreble , his dad a man whom I’ve had to take a previous retraining order on for harassment and obsessive behaviour towards me since we separated he won’t let go ! He has emotionally abused my two children one was from a previous relationship he’s said innopropiate things in front of both who both have additional needs even gone as far as speaking sexually about me in front of the eldest 12 at the time , he’s said to youngest he wants to get back with mummy cried in front of him , even said he uses my pillow at night to him this isn’t appropriate and has had a major impact on the children youngest very upset , he’s told the kids I steal their Dla and that they are paying for the family holidays I’m taking them on again very nasty things to put a wedge beetween me and the kids / this has gone on a long time I’ve stopped contact been to mediation then it starts again … youngest 6 at time aloud to use dangerous tools in dads company / even found video of fire entinquisher being used by him at 6 I was lost for words , found a photo of my son on sons phone of him bent over underpants up his bottom and apparently he said to my son pretend to be mummy / very disturbing this was all report to social services nothing was investigated , he’s still driving past my house (no evidence , also making fake social media accounts now I’m being taken to court for abduction for keeping my son safe I’m due in court first meeting with cafcas this week I need peoples opinions on if they will treat the matters serious and I’m hoping they don’t allow unsupervised access can anyone help I’m so worried and anxious x

Dear PNB786

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. I note from your post that you have raised some very significant concerns regarding your son’s father and the risky behaviours he displays with and in front of your son, older siblings and yourself.

It appears that the father has an application before the family court for contact as you have suspended contact due to your concerns about the impact father’s action is having on your son who is vulnerable due to his additional needs.

I can tell you that suspending contact for safeguarding reasons does not equate to abduction. The is a completely different court process to that you will be involved in now. Abduction is removing a child from one jurisdiction to another without the agreement of the other parent or withholding a child and refusing to return child to their home.

The Cafcass officer will listen to your concerns and so will the court. The court could direct children’s services to become involved, and this could mean them doing a s.37 investigation, this would be in addition to the usual s.7 report which Cafcass or children’s services could do. The court want a full investigation before making a decision about contact supervised or unsupervised.

Our remit does not cover private family law proceedings, if you do not have a solicitor representing you, this organization Child Law Advice 0300 330 5480 offers advice. You can also get support from Support through Court 0300 081 0006 in respect of court procedures There is also an online service Advice Now that provides information for persons representing themselves (litigants in person).

Hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie