Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

Hi, I have a son I split from his mother around 5 years ago following a toxic relationship and ended abusive, after this they moved away, I was contacted at the time to have contact and then quickly realised it wasn't about contact. I made a difficult decision and decided it was best for all that paths separate and since I've started rebuilding a life. I have now received a bundle through mum has lost the children via a emergency protection from police and then section 20 was signed following that LA have went for ICO I have been traced the paperwork received shows long standing abuse neglect etc and previous SW involvement she had over a 14 year period. Now that I have been traced I have asked firstly the section 20 was not agreed and he should return to me however they said they were going for emergency order etc so I have agreed at this time to the due process and await the court hearing. My son has half sibling in same position. I am so confused on this whole process as I understand it the removal for mum due to significant harm LA want to share PR and put contact in with Mum although mum is restricting this contact due to other priorities. I am still awaiting to see if and what contact would be for me but I'm at a loss of why my son's not been put into my care they are sighting no contact/relationship with me (like a Foster caterer has) splitting him from half sibling and distance. I completely understand I've not had contact etc and happy for any safe guarding assesments etc to be conducted, clearly he's been removed from parent due to safeguarding but I feel as though I now need to prove that I'm a fit parent and can be a dad, whilst asking to exercise my PR but not really having PR say. My actions haven't led to him being taken into care, any advice on what this looks like considerations I should think of would be appreciated.

Hi Lostinsystem82,

You are in a much stronger position than you realise, but the confusion you’re feeling is completely normal. When a child is removed from their mother under emergency powers or Section 20, the Local Authority must then consider every person with parental responsibility and every safe family member before even thinking about long-term foster care. That is not optional; it is the law.

Here is what is happening and what you need to do next.

1. You are not being assessed as a “suspect”

You are being assessed as the alternative primary carer.
That is a very different legal position.

The reason they haven’t handed your son straight over is not because of concerns about you. It is because:

there has been no contact for several years

they have no recent relationship evidence

they must carry out checks before they move a child

This is standard procedure, not a judgment on you.

2. An ICO does not block a return to you

Under an Interim Care Order, the court will look at:

whether you can offer immediate care

whether the risk that existed with the mother does not exist with you

whether a plan can be put in place quickly for transition

If you are safe, stable, appropriate, and willing, the court absolutely can order:

the child moves to your care
or

a stepped plan leading to reunification with you

3. The Local Authority’s reasons are procedural, not personal

When they mention:

“no relationship,”
“lack of recent contact,”
“distance,”
“half sibling,”

These are practical factors, not safeguarding concerns.

Your job now is to demonstrate three things:

You understand the past context

You can meet your son’s needs now

You can offer a safe, stable home immediately

4. You need a solicitor today

This is essential.
You are entitled to non-means-tested Legal Aid because you are a respondent in care proceedings.

Ask specifically for a Children Panel solicitor.
They are the only specialists who know how to:

push for reunification

challenge delay

put forward a realistic plan

expose flawed assumptions

protect your parental responsibility

5. Email the social worker and guardian (via solicitor) with clarity

Your solicitor will help you draft this, but the message is:

you want assessment

you want your son home if safe

you are willing to work with professionals

you are prepared for immediate home checks

you understand the child’s needs and history

A parent who engages clearly and calmly is taken very seriously by the court.

6. Do not blame yourself for the lack of contact

This is not a case where your absence caused harm.
The harm happened in the mother’s care.
Your role now is to step in.

7. Prepare for the first hearing

The judge will want to know:

your history

your current stability

your support network

your home situation

your willingness to take the child

your understanding of his needs

your ability to work with services

If you can provide a safe alternative, the ICO stage is the exact moment courts look for family placements.

If you want, I can help you write:

the initial statement for your solicitor

a reunification plan

a contact position

a list of supporting evidence you can gather now

the questions you need to ask at the first meeting

And for transparency, I’m not an FRG adviser. I’m a parent who has been through the system and now helps others understand how the legal process actually works.

Thank you so much for your reply this is amazing advice and I would appreciate any help possible I have engaged with a solicitor and basically have to wait until he gets court date before anything, in the meantime any help on preparing and navigating the system would be amazing. I am under a different justice system which doesn't help at this point either.

Dear LostinSystem82,

Thank you for your posts. I will respond to both of them here.

I am Suzie, an online adviser for Family Rights Group.

In your update you say ‘I am under a different justice system which doesn't help at this point either.’ It’s important to note that all advice from Family Rights Group only covers England not the whole of the U.K.

You do not explain whether the interim care order was sought in an English court by an English local authority. If the ICO was made in a Welsh, Scottish or Northern Irish family court the information here may not apply. You can search for advice organisations for the other U.K nations in the Useful Links section on the Family Rights Group website here.

You write that children’s services were involved with your son for 14 years before the current care proceedings meant that you were traced and informed of his circumstances. I do not have full details of the history, but children’s services may have questions to answer as to why you, as a father with parental responsibility for a son who was identified as suffering significant harm and repeatedly in a child protection process were not contacted earlier.

The Family Right Group web pages for fathers will be useful to you here. The link includes a list of support organisations specifically for fathers, including Both Parents Matter here.

You are seeking advice on how to have contact with your son and for children’s services to assess whether it is in his best interests to be in your care rather than foster care.

You explain that your son has not had scope to see you and keep a connection with you for some time so an abrupt move to your care may not be the right thing for him. Now you want to know how you can begin contact and start rebuilding that connection. You also explain that your son has a half-sibling who is currently in the foster placement with him and this relationship is vital to him at this time of great disruption in his life.

Children’s services are under a duty to consider family care options for your son first and you explain that you are willing to work with social workers on any safeguarding checks and to reassure them that your child can be safe in your parental care. You should talk with your solicitor about how this matter can be brought up in the care proceedings at the earliest opportunity, and how you can discuss this with the children’s guardian (an independent social worker appointed by the court to consider the best options for a child’s care and make recommendations.)

I am sending you a link to detailed information about care proceedings here to inform your discussions with your solicitor. The role of the children’s guardian is also discussed in more detail in this link.
A Family Rights Group guide to working with a solicitor is here.
here.

Now that the interim care order is in place, children’s services share parental responsibility with you and his mother and must write a care plan which includes contact arrangements. Children’s services should consider your wishes and feelings about your son’s care and keep you fully informed. You should be invited to contribute to your son’s looked after child reviews, which are attended by the social worker and chaired by an independent reviewing officer. You can read more about care plans, looked after child reviews, the role of the social worker and independent reviewing officer here.
Specific information about contact with children during care proceedings is here.

I also wanted to bring your attention to family group conferences. This is a way that the whole network of family and friends around your son could meet to discuss ways they can support to keep him cared for within the family. Family group conferences are chaired by an independent professional – the social worker often attends but families make their own decisions about what can be offered. It might help to involve other supportive relatives in considering the complex situation your son is in and thinking through what is the best for him in the longer term. You can read more about family group conferences here.

I hope this information was useful to you. Please feel free to post here again if you have further questions.
There are also many alternative ways to contact Family Rights Group if you seek further advice in the future:

• A free telephone advice line open Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 3pm (excluding Bank Holidays) on 0808 801 0366
• Easy-to-follow online information. Features include an A-Z, FAQs, films, ‘top tips’ and legal advice sheets;
• A webchat service where you can message an adviser online, who will help you find information and advice to support you.
• Complete the advice enquiry form to request an email response within 5 working days

Best wishes,
Suzie