Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

Hi

I'm looking for help around issues with contact and a SGO

A number of years ago me and my partner were taken to court by the LA because we both had MH conditions that were untreated and it was causing issues in our relationship, after a long drawn out process the judge ruled that although our daughter had never been harmed there was a risk of potential future harm(still to this day that phrase annoys me, neither of us would ever have let her come to any harm)

Anyway once the judge had made that decision we had to decide what we thought was best for her and submit it to the judge, the maternal grandmother had applied for an SGO and passed(barely) but I was massively against it because she had caused a number of issues in our relationship and I had witnessed arguments and fights between my partner and her mum(to the point police had to be called) so I sat with my solicitor and wrote everything down that has happened and was going to fight against the SGO, because I knew if she got the SGO my contact would be minimal.

However just before we went to the judge my partner stopped me and assured me her mum would treat me fairly and to let her get the SGO and my contact would be regular, so I agreed.







It's been 4+ years and my contact is still once every 3, whilst my now ex partner sees her every other weekend (sometimes more on special occasions, birthdays, Christmas, mother's day, I didn't even get a phone call on father's day )

I am not a criminal or a violent offender, I am not an addict there is no reason why my contact should be so limited other than the fact it's an SGO and the maternal grandmother doesn't like me.

I went to my old solicitors who first had this case and they told me because it's an SGO I can't do anything about the contact as it's entirely up to the maternal grandmother, I asked about going back to court for a contact order and they said again because it's an SGO I wouldn't be entitled to Legal Aid

It feels like everything was done and set up to leave me in this situation where I am left desperately trying to see my daughter more but getting no help from anyone especially the person who claims to have her best interests at heart

Hi Qwerty2025,

I want to start by saying this clearly you have been misled into believing you are powerless, and that belief is exactly what has allowed this situation to continue for four years. You were persuaded to agree to something on the promise of fairness, and the opposite has happened. This isn’t a misunderstanding, it is a misuse of position by the Special Guardian, and it is absolutely challengeable.

The Legal Reality (Not What You Were Told)

A Special Guardianship Order (SGO) does not remove your Parental Responsibility.

It does not give the grandmother unrestricted control.

You can apply to court for a Child Arrangements Order to secure defined contact.

Your solicitor saying “nothing can be done” is not because of the la, it is because Legal Aid is limited, and many firms do not want to take on non-legal aid private cases.

You are not blocked from court. You are being discouraged from using it there is a difference

Why This Is Now a Legal Matter

You have a positive social services report. You have never harmed your daughter. Your contact has remained at the lowest level despite four years of stability. Meanwhile, her mother (who was in the same position as you) has regular time.

This is not safeguarding. This is control. And the law allows you to challenge control where it harms a child’s right to family life.

You said you worry that if you challenge it, she will stop contact entirely. That fear is exactly what keeps fathers trapped. This is very very common

Here is the truth: If she cuts off contact when you attempt to formalise arrangements, she gives you the strongest evidence you could ever present to a court.

It would show the court:

She is acting in her own interests, not your child’s.

She is emotionally manipulating your daughter.

She is not promoting a relationship with the other parent, which is one of her core legal duties under an SGO.

Judges look very dimly on gatekeeping and control. If she reacts badly, it only strengthens your case.

Your Next Steps and i recommend this straight away

Start a written contact log today

Record every visit, every positive interaction, every refusal or last-minute change.

This becomes your evidence.

Send a formal request for Mediation

This shows the court you attempted to resolve this amicably.

When she refuses or blocks it, you get your MIAM certificate and proceed to court.

Be willing to file

You do not need a solicitor to file a C100 (Child Arrangements Order) or C79 (Enforcement).

Thousands of parents do this as Litigants in Person and succeed.

You Are Not Asking for Favour , You Are Enforcing Rights

It is in your daughter’s best interests to have consistent, meaningful time with her father. This is your legal position. You are not asking for more than that, you are asking for what your daughter is entitled to.

Final Note: Due to forum admin restrictions on me as i post lots to help people, I am only allowed to post twice per week to help people now. If you want detailed draft letters (mediation request wording, court application guidance, etc.), feel free to direct message me using the speech bubble icon next to my username. I'm happy to help you build your case step by step.

You have a far stronger position than you think. It's time to reclaim it!
------------------------------------
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser for this forum. I am a parent who has been through a long and successful legal battle with a local authority, and I am here to offer supportive, strategic advice based on my own lived experience. The information I share is for guidance, and it is always up to each parent to decide what is right for their own situation.