What happens when they do become involved

[YRK2352]

will try and make this as short as possible, basically wanting to know what would happen next.

I have a son 6, who has autism and global development delay. His bio dad is not involved at all and not on the birth certificate. Is choice not mine as I have tried to have him a round.

my now ex partner of 5 years has always been around and been great with him.

to put it blunt my ex used to be horrible (all incidents with drink and drugs) he was charged with Dv on his ex partner well before me (I did know about this) so when I did Claire’s law I found out about a few more incidents that charges have been dropped.

in the whole relationship he has NEVER been aggressive with me or my son. However, a few weekends a go he went on a day session and didn’t get back until 1am. I was sat at my house with the next door neighbour (she regularly comes round) and he came in extremely angry accusing me of cheating, slamming doors and broke a few little things around the house. He tried to go up to bed but I asked him to leave and he did. (My son was upstairs but didn’t wake up or see anything)

following this my neighbour called the police and they took a statement from me and said they had to inform social services (fair enough) anyway I said he wasn’t coming back and that was that they left it at that. Social said they didn’t need to be involved and that’s it.

anyway his mum contacted me begging to see if he could see my son as obviously they have bonded massively. I rang social and asked as I didn’t want to hide anything and they said as long as it’s supervised visits that’s ok but if we resumed a relationship I would have to inform them so they could keep us safe.

fast forward.. he’s had a few visits, he’s stopped drinking completely (I will add he isn’t an alcoholic at all and barely really drinks but when he does he doesn’t know how to stop), has enrolled himself into anger management and been to the doctors to ask about counselling as he knows it has been an issue.

i am not saying I do want a relationship with him and I certainly don’t anytime soon as I think he needs to better himself for him not us if that makes sense.

but if in the future we did want to try again does anyone know what would happen? He said he’s happy to be drink and drug tested, go on courses, do whatever needs to be done but I’m just curious if I would then risk loosing my son.

thank you

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear YRK2352

Thank you for your post and welcome to the Board.

You ask what might happen if you decide to resume your relationship in the future?

I imagine, that if you do, you should let children’s services know and ask them to do an assessment. Although you have said that your son did not wake up when the domestic incident was occurring in your home, he ‘will’ be deemed to have been impacted by it. Here are our webpages about domestic abuse, I hope you find them informative.

Best wishes
Suzie