Older Children Coming home : helping THEM

[ABERMammy1979]

Hi

I am hoping to get my 13 and 15 years olds home from care, they were placed 3 years ago, does anyone have experience of getting teens home and how you supported them in that.

I am worried about them mentally as they were placed in a more affluent hoem with very different values to mine, They are not returning to the same place as they left as i moved to ensure that the SS concerns were met and so it will mean another new school and friends etc. I have only had contact for 4 hrs every two months, no phone or online contact outside of this which worries me. They have an older sister who was placed in kinship care, with my abusive parents. They have had little contact with each other in the last 3 years and i am worried about their relationships too.

I am probably over worried but i wondered whether there were any specific courses or therapies we could do to help them understand it all and come to terms with being removed from my care etc.

This is also the start of my attemptgo to court to get them back, as I tried through SS but they have had me waiting 12 months for the first parenting assessment, so i now have to go through a solicetor. Anyone with experience?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear ABERmammy1979,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the parents' board.

You say you have two children, aged 13 and 15, who are in care. You would like them to return home to you. Currently, you have contact for four hours every two months and no additional contact outside of this. Your older child was placed with your parents and there has been very little sibling contact. You would like to know if there is any additional support for your children. You have already asked children's services for a parenting assessment and have had to wait 12 months, so wish to seek the advice of a solicitor in order to discharge the care order.

In order to discharge a care order, you will need to show the court that there has been a real change in circumstances since the order was made and that it is in the children's best interests to be returned to your care. It is important that you have addressed the concerns that initially led to the making of the care order and can show that you can safely care for your children. You mention that you have asked children's services for a parenting assessment but that they have not done this. You did not give a reason for this, but you may wish to ask children's services to provide these reasons for you in writing. It may be that children's services do not think it would be in the children's best interest to return to your care and that the longer-term plan for their care is to remain in foster care. You can apply to discharge a care order by submitting a C110A form to the court. You do not necessarily need a solicitor, but if you are able to arrange one, this may be useful.

An important part of building a relationship with your children and evidencing that discharge may be in their best interests is good and consistent contact. A good step would be for you to speak to the social worker about increasing the level of contact you have. You may want to ask what steps you can take before contact can be increased. If you are not satisfied with the social worker's response, you may want to speak to the independent reviewing officer (IRO). You also mention sibling contact - sibling contact is very important and should be promoted by the local authority. If you do not think this has been the case - again, you can speak to the IRO about this. It may also be helpful for your children to have advocates arranged for them so that their views can be represented throughout.

Your children may have experienced trauma in their past and as a result of being removed from your care. Children's services have a duty to ensure that all their needs, including their emotional needs, are met. You may want to speak to the social worker about what interventions and support are currently in place - are they known to CAMHS for example? A crucial part of looked after children understanding what has happened in their lives is 'life story work.' You may want to ask the social worker to talk through this with you. If there are any other interventions that you think may be useful, you can raise this with the social worker, or at the next looked after child review.

I hope you have found this helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie.

[ABERMammy1979]

Thank you Suzy,

Im regard to the parenting assessments, i have been getting different reasons for it being delayed, it has been re restarted twice because the social worker changed before they completed it. I keep being given part time working social workers or ones that are leaving. I have had 4 social workers leave and then given someone they knew was going on maternity, she was replaced by the current one who only works 3 days a week.

I have done another post about the problems that is causing, I have been requesting increased contact but its impossible with the restrictions being placed on it.

The current social worker has had 4x deadlines this year for completing the assessment and still i am waiting, most recently i was mean to get it on the 7th Sept, Ive spoken to her manager and i was assured in August that the assessment was done and just needed signing off. but I was then told on the 7th that the assessment was missing three vital parts. Anything on my mental health, the childrens voice and anythign about my ability to physically provide accomodation for the children.

The children came into care because of mental health concerns and my lack of a support network when i became physically disabled. So the fact that mental health info was missing shocked me. I am not sure what WAS in the assessment.
it has been 18 months since i said i wanted them home and they agreed to do the assessment. I have made complaints, requested numerous times for a social worker who can accomodate increased contact, a removal of supervision and NOTHING changes and no one does anything.

This week i asked for the supervisory social workers managers details, but they are ignoring my emails.

HELP

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear AberMammy1979,

Thank you for your post.

I have answered your other post in relation to your questions about contact.

I am sorry to hear about the continued delays in the completion of the assessment. This must be very frustrating.

You say you have made a complaint about this as well as other issues you have listed. I am not sure what stage your complaint is at, but I would encourage you to exhaust the local authority’s complaints procedure, which then gives you the option to go the local government ombudsman.

I would also advise that you raise your concerns about this lack of progress with the independent reviewing officer (IRO). The progress of the parenting assessment should have been visited at looked after children reviews.

You may want to ask to meet with a more senior manager, such as the service manager and to contact your local MP about your concerns.

As I mentioned in my last post, it may be useful for you at this point to speak to a solicitor about applying for unsupervised contact under section 34 of the children act.

Best wishes,

Suzie.