Midwife, is calling social services.

[Pepsiking1490]

Redacted

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Pepsiking1490

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

First of all, congratulations on your partner’s pregnancy. I can see that you are in a long-term relationship with your partner. Her pregnancy is planned and much wanted. You explain that you have been honest with your partner about your first child and the circumstances when they were born. From what you say, you decided together to have this baby when you both felt that the time was right.

You are worried as the midwife said she was going to get in touch with children’s services.

You have explained the reasons why you and your ex-partner were unable to care for your first child, who is now 9. They are cared for by a relative under a Residence Order(RO) . You describe how you have regular contact with your child. This seems to be by agreement. You say you have a very positive relationship with your child. You are still their father, regardless of there being a Residence Order in place. And just to clarify, if you are named on your 9 year old’s birth certificate you still have parental responsibility for them too. However, the court-ordered RO allows the family member to care for them and for the child to live with them.

It sounds as if children’s services did not involve you properly when they were involved with your first child. They should have done so as you are the child’s father. They would have considered that you were both young parents and that you both had additional needs. There was a concern that you had anger management issues. You state that you don’t. It is likely that children’s services were involved in the decision that the baby could not be discharged from hospital initially and in agreeing to the Residence Order being made.

Midwives caring for an expectant mother ask about whether either parent of the unborn baby has a child who does not live with them. As you have a child who is not in your care the midwife will pass this information onto children’s services. In addition, your partner has a long term health condition and has had depression. You have ADHD. I think by fact finding the midwife meant a check to see if children’s services are/have been involved and to let children’s services of your partner’s pregnancy. The midwife has said she has no concerns which is good. You have described how well you are doing and that you have matured.

You and your partner have been responsible expectant parents by providing consent for the midwife to get in touch with children’s services. As you say, you have nothing to hide. It is totally understandable that you were anxious. Most expectant parents would be in this situation especially where there has been past social work involvement. I am sure that the midwife will understand this too.

If you and your partner need extra help or support this could be offered to you via universal services or early help. Please see our information for parents to be here . Or children’s services may offer a pre-birth assessment .

You can find out more here about pre-birth assessments. The purpose is to make sure that your family has any extra support you need and that you will be able to care for the baby safely.

If children’s services begin a pre-birth assessment they will want to meet with and work with you as the unborn baby’s dad. They would not assess your 9 year old’s situation unless there was a specific concern raised about them or you or their carer asked for help for them. They might want to do a check with the carer about your involvement; this could be very helpful as you say that you have a healthy relationship.

I can see that you have a lot of questions and worries about what happens next. It might be a good idea to confirm with the midwife the outcome of her contact with children’s services. She said that it could take up to two weeks. Perhaps you and your partner could contact her and ask her to update you as soon as possible so that you know what is happening.

If children’s services become involved then the links I have provided should be useful. If there needs to be a pre-birth assessment the sooner this begins the better. The most important things for you and your partner are to:

• Keep attending all appointments, especially ante-natal ones,
• Work with children’s services
• Take on board recommendations
• Access support and services
• Involve your family and friends’ network
• Get further advice

You can:

• Ring to speak with an adviser. The freephone advice service is open from 9.30 am to 3.00 pm, from Mon to Fri (except ban holidays). The number is 0808 8010366
• Post an update or a further query on this forum
• Ask a question via our advice enquiry form
• Use our webchat facility.

I hope this helps

Best wishes

Suzie

[Pepsiking1490]

Hi
Just want to clarify... social services has nothing to do with the RO.

That was a voulentary agreement.

[Pepsiking1490]

So what I don't understand is if, the midwife has no concerns, why is she still speaking to social services?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Pepsiking1490

Thank you for your further posts and the questions you have asked regarding the midwife making a referral to children’s services about your partner’s pregnancy.

Firstly you say that the residence order was voluntary, and children’s services had nothing to do with it. I think it is important to understand that if children’s services were involved and the decision was for the grandparent to apply for a residence order rather than children’s services removing your child from your care, then it would mean they had concerns and a residence order was agreed to be the best option at the time.

In respect of the second question, you ask why the midwife will make a referral to children’s services if she has no concerns. The reason for the referral is because they had previous involvement with your older child. The referral as mentioned in the earlier post is so children’s services can consider whether they need to be involved with you and your partner now.

Please the information in the links in the previous post which should help you to understand your current situation better. I am including again the link relating to parents to be for easy reference.

I hope this helps

Best wishes

Suzie

[Pepsiking1490]

Hi!

I'm sorry I think we are misunderstanding each other.

Social services DID NOT recommend it. At all. It was just an agreement between two sets of private individuals.

Thanks for replying.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Pepsiking1490

Thank you for providing clarification about the making of the Residence Order. Children’s services are often involved in making these recommendations. However, you are very clear that they were not involved and that this was dealt with purely as a private law matter. Thanks for this.

Have you heard back from the midwife yet? If children’s services become involved then please do post again.

I hope your partner’s pregnancy is going well.

Best wishes


Suzie

[Pepsiking1490]

Hi. We haven't heard back yet and her next appointment is on the 16th.
She said she'd call with any infomation.
I'm starting to doubt whether or not this has been carried out, or if it has, its shown no concerns.

There was never any CiN or CPP from what I can gather. Just a PBA and some recommendations.


I suppose we will wait and see what happens on the 16th and beyond. She did say at the previous appointment from the infomation provided there may nor have been too much infomation specific to me.

Hopefully this is the case.

[Pepsiking1490]

Just wanted to update. I redacted my original message, but you can get the jist of it from Suzies posts.

Today was the 28 week antenatal appointment, I couldn't make it unfortunately but I got a message from my partner saying that social services have no record pertaining to me as an individual. If I'm mentioned on someone else's, then it hasn't been brought up in this instance. I'm sure they would have acknowledged this and would have done a detailed check, but ultimately this has satisfied the midwives in respect to myself.

She did however make sure my partner knew that we could reach out ourselves if we wanted too for any additional support.

So if anyone reading this has been through a similar issue, please understand that it might not necessarily go against you.

The decisions you make while a young parent could go in your favour if they show an attempt at maturity. Please don't tell yourself that you cannot have children for risk of intervention.

It might not be as bad as it seems.



Suzie, my last question for you at this moment in time....

Now that this is quashed, is it worth sending in an FOI or a GDPR request to get a copy of the file I was never given? Or is it likely to be heavily redacted due to lack of infomation sharable to the midwife?

Could sending in a request trigger some sort of review by CS?


Cheers.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Pepsiking1940,

Thank you for your update and I am glad things have worked out.

If you would like to request any information that children's services hold about you, take a look at our advice sheet here for more information on how to do this.

I cannot say whether this would cause children's services to review the case - any review should be based on any safeguarding concern and any further action would have to meet threshold for involvement.

Best wishes,

Suzie.