Hello depressing times (dont judge)

[mr abcd]

long story short
i was known for domestic violence and drug abuse 8 9 years ago. and down to the severe time i was not engaging and in trouble with police, for theffs to fund my habbit and food.
as a result they had me on news and radio for domestic violence theffs and other offences (which was nothing related to children or any harm to children was just in a dark deprssing time of my life and could not see eye to eye with partner at time)

my two kids was 1 and 2 at the time of adoption and are know 9 and 10,
ive never been given any orders to my self to not see any FUTURE children, although i was not engaging and left nobody with contact information for me.

my partner is due baby in 3rd of August but social have contacted her and stated i can not have contact nor can i go on birth certificate until i have an assesment. (they have really worried her)

ive tried contacting mediators and solicitor to see what i can do.
and their saying nothing can be done until babys born which has left me confused on other peoples children? does this mean i can not stay with friends either due to social saying this.
what can i do to be assessed?

ive since over the years been on and off the streets down to reasons like this and majority of friends having kids.
i am drug amd alchol free and have been for a while since finishing my recovery programme.
i have done plenty of groups in prison and 2 out of prison to address my other issues.

i am really confused on what to do.
oh i have also contacted social services to find out whom the worker was who assessed my partner, but they are refusing to give details and or are saying their not allowed too. and i must go through a court assessment (which can not be legally sone until baby due August)

please i am really desperate to find out if anything for me on my behalf which i can get done to get an assessment done on me so i can go if not go back home, at lesst br able to go to the birth of my child and have any form of contact weather jt be supervised to prove to them ive changed other the years.

please help

[mr abcd]

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Mr abcd

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your posts. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am sorry that I was not able to respond to your query sooner.

I am also sorry to hear that your two children were adopted 8 years ago. I can understand how distressing that can be. PAC – UK’s first family service offers support to parents affected by adoption. Their contact details are first family@pac-uk.org and 07975 846 249.

You are about to become a father again in August. Congratulation on your partner’s pregnancy. I can see that you want to be involved in your baby’s life. However, I understand that the circumstances mean that this is a very stressful and uncertain time for you and your partner.

You describe your history which includes criminal offences and drug use. I am sorry that you have had periods of homelessness too. Children’s services will also be very worried about your past domestic abuse. You state very clearly that you did not work with police or children’s services at that time.

It is good to hear that you have made some significant changes in your life, that you are drug and alcohol free and that you did a number of specialist programmes both in and outside of prison. If there is any ongoing support or follow up services that you can access then it is a good idea to do so. This will help show that you are trying to maintain your recovery and progress. It will also help show that you are able to work better with professionals.

Now that your partner is pregnant, children’s services have become involved again in relation to the unborn baby. If your partner has another child or children of her own they will also be involved with those children. This is because of your history and the fact of your older children’s adoption. They have to consider the risk of future harm to the unborn baby.

Children’s services may have completed a pre-birth assessment. We have detailed advice about this for parents- to- be here.

There may also be a pre-birth child protection plan in place for the unborn baby.

There is a clear safety plan in place at present which states that you and your partner should not have contact. She has also been advised not to put your name on the birth certificate. She could not do this anyway until the baby is born. As you have already found out, until the baby is born they are not a legal entity. This means that their birth cannot be registered. And that no one can make a court applications until then.

As you know, if your name is not on the baby’s birth certificate you will not have parental responsibility. This is something you can apply for via the court later. You may need to have paternity testing to confirm that you are the baby’s father when they are born.

Children’s service may begin pre-proceedings and later care proceedings. They will do this if they are very worried about the baby’s welfare and safety or if your partner has another child/ren who may be at risk.

If your partner is already a mother then children’s services cannot share information with you about her child/ren. In relation to the unborn baby, the main focus of their work has to be with her as she is the expectant mother, she has to attend ante-natal appointments etc and she will automatically have parental responsibility as soon as the baby is born.

But they also need to involve the unborn baby’s father, if they can safely do so. Please see our pages for fathers which discusses this in more detail. They also need to consider what the wider family can offer to help meet the baby’s needs. This includes the paternal family even if the father does not have parental responsibility.

You are not sure why children’s services have not provided you with the details of the social worker for your unborn baby. And why they are not currently involving you in the assessment/plans for the unborn baby.

You are entitled to know the reason why. However, it is likely to be related to your offending history. You may be seen as a high risk offender. This would explain why they are stating that assessments would need to be done via court, once the baby is born.

The best thing to do may be to:

• Write to the team manager (you should be able to find this information online), providing all your contact details and confirming that:
• You understand that they are involved in assessing your unborn baby’s needs
• You understand why they need to do this.
• You are willing to cooperate and engage in any assessments required
• You wish to be involved in any decision-making processes for the baby
• You could provide details of any family members/ friends who you would like to be included and/or assessed, if needed, when children’s services are making plans for the baby.
• You have made positive changes.

Most importantly, you should ask children’s services to confirm in writing:

• Their reasons for not involving you currently
• Why they cannot provide you with contact details for the unborn baby’s social worker
• Who you can contact/who will update you instead.
• Ask that they provide you with this information in writing, urgently, as it is distressing for you not being worked with.

If they have concerns about any contact you have with other people’s children they should tell you so too.

You explain how worried your partner is about children’s services’ involvement. This is also very understandable. It is really important though that she follows children’s services’ recommendations. She should also get her own independent legal advice.

If children’s services make a court application once the baby is born then you won’t automatically have parental responsibility as discussed but the information below explains what would happen:

A father in this situation will:

 Not automatically be a party to proceedings
 Receive notice that care proceedings have been issued (started) and the first court hearing date
 Usually be made a party to the proceedings by the court at the first hearing. This is known as being ‘joined’ to the proceedings. A solicitor can help with this.

A father who becomes a party to care proceedings will then be able to see take part fully. This includes seeing all the court papers. He will be entitled to legal aid to get free legal advice.

It may be a good idea to look into finding a child law accredited solicitor to assist you if children’s services begin pre-proceedings or care proceedings processes. Please see our links here to how to find a solicitor.

The links to services below may also be of interest to you:

• Respect
• Unlock
• Drug and alcohol misuse services
• Families need fathers

I hope this helps.

You can post again if you have a further query. Or you can call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays). We also have a webchat and advice enquiry form that you can use.

Best wishes

Suzie