Husband removed from family home after conference

[MamaAE10]

Hi. My husband spent 15 month in prison for child sexual abuse. He was released and was able to come home to myself and my 3 children. It's been a month and now we have just had a child protection conference and the social worker has said he needs to be removed from the family home due to risks. I've always been deemed capable of Safeguarding the children. The kids are so upset as daddy has been home now he has gone. We have just been told he can't even come for dinner. Even though he wouldn't be having unsupervised contact as I will be there at all times. Has anyone appealed this kind of decision and got it changed. We are at a loss and feel as though the social workers are fighting against us. This should have all be sorted before he was released from prison.

[benion]

I have had no personal experience with this type of allegation, however I did read one post on here whereby a father who had a conviction was able to get contact back by complaining through the official channels and involving a solicitor, so it can be done.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear MamaAE10,

Welcome to the parents' board and thank you for your post.

You say that your husband spent 15 months in prison for child sexual abuse. He was released back to your home where you live with your three children. He has been living there for a month and a child protection conference has just been held, in which the social worker said that he had to be removed from the family home due to risks. You say that you have previously been assessed as capable of safeguarding the children, and that your children are upset. You have been told that he cannot have supervised contact in the home. You would like to appeal this, and feel this should have been sorted out sooner.

Firstly, children's services are concerned about your husband due to the serious nature of the offence he has committed. They have initiated child protection enquiries as they are concerned that your children have suffered or at risk of suffering significant harm. The reasons that the social worker thinks this should have been included in the report prior to the conference, and the professional network should have made clear their concerns during the conference. If you feel unclear as to why they are worried, I would encourage you to read the social worker's assessment again and to ask the social worker to go through this with you. It is also important that you read the child protection plan and that both you and your husband engage meaningfully with the child protection process - the plan may outline certain steps you can take to address some of the risk, including engaging with certain services.

At the moment, your husband has moved out of the home at the request of children's services. Children's services do not have the power to legally force him to leave the home, however, based on their assessment of the situation, they are recommending that this is in the children's best interests. If you and your husband do not follow this recommendation, they may become concerned that you are putting the children at risk, and they may escalate their involvement - this can include seeking legal advice and potentially applying to the courts for an order to remove your children. It is reasonable for your husband to ask the social worker how long they expect him to be out of the home for, or what steps he would need to take to before they think it is safe enough for him to move back home, if at all.

You do not state what kind of contact your husband is having with your children, but I presume any contact will be supervised and outside of the home. Your husband may want to request that he is risk-assessed for contact - an organisation like Lucy Faithful can conduct specialist risk assessments. You may also request that your protective capacity is assessed, for example, with a view to supervising contact yourself if this is deemed safe. Alternatively, you may want to put forward other family members who could supervise.

It is understandable that you feel frustrated that these actions were not taken prior to your husband leaving prison, or at least sooner. It is important that you do not minimise concerns, but it would be reasonable of you to ask the social worker to explain why they sanctioned your husband moving into the home initially, and what has changed since then for them now to have him to move out.

You ask if you can appeal such a recommendation - you could, if you wanted to, speak to the child protection chair about this decision, or make a formal complaint. With this, however, there is the risk that the social worker and multiagency think that you are denying and minimising concerns, and that you do not have a clear insight into why your husband is concerned a potential factor of harm.

You may find it helpful to contact the Lucy Faithful Foundation on 0808 1000 900.

Best wishes,

Suzie.

[Starwars90]

I am going through the same kind of hell with social services.

I imagine you feel like you are loosing your mind. It is a relentlessly stressful time. Nobody should have to go through this.

You are not alone.

I have a SHPO preventing my returning home or unsupervised contact without approval from social services who are giving me about as much information as a brick wall. I can't get out of them what they want me to do to reduce risk and what rough timescale this could happen.

I had a 12 month custodial, released after 6 months. I haven't seen my children since last November! I think everybody's experience of this will differ somewhat depending on your local council and the social worker/manager involved.

[DeeplyLost]

I know this must be a stressful time for you and your family. A prison sentence is bad enough but to go through him coming home and having to leave again must be like going through it all again.

The seriousness of the crime your husband committed cannot be understated and you do need to be pragmatic about the situation. Take the Social Worker's prospective that you have three children living with a convicted child sex offender and they often heat that 'x is safe', 'x has changed' or 'x won't do it again' and this can often not be the case. So, they have to work off the lowest common denominator which is why he'll have been asked to leave.

Social Services will want to see engagement with everything they ask of both of you. But also do things like contacting Lucy Faithful for outside support.

Honestly, I think the best recourse you have here is to raise a complaint to highlight the pain and destress it has cause for Dad to come home from prison and leave again. To minimize family stress this should have been sorted before release. I think complaining about him leaving as an outcome of the CPC is likely to put you on bad footing for minimizing risk.

Meanwhile, go through the report and safety plan. A CPP should have an exit strategy so talk to your social worker about time scales - when does x have to be completed by, when does y need to be done by. Make sure you keep in contact and provide evidence.

Even though you've been previously assessed as able to safeguard, get new assessments done with this change in circumstances. Start small, supervised contact out the home with additional member of the family and work slowly.

Finally, put as much as possible in writing - all telephone and face to face meetings should be followed up with an email to say something like 'just for confirmation we discussed x,y,z and next steps are a,b,c'.

This is so you can hold them account on process. In my experience across all Social Services, there is very little point in fighting out decisions because it puts there back up but politely and carefully holding them to account on following process and progress and engagement will help.

I draw this experience not just from my current involvment with Family Social Services but I also work in partnership with Adult Social Services and believe me, they are both as much as a pain in the ass as each other.

[Unhappy me1980]

I am in a similar position my partner was on the s o r but has finished his time no longer on it. If he can prove he is no longer a risk as his crimes not major bad but he knows he was in the wrong when it happened he was on drink &drugs at that point but has really learnt his lesson as he done a short spell in prison this was way before I met him. Do you think can work on him coming home and getting my son back as he is on entrime care with his dad

[Unhappy me1980]

I am also 6 months pregnant with my partners child but I am being made to choose between my partner or son and unborn baby. My old sw was not very nice but I now have a better one. My partner has never hurt myself or my son he loves us both dearly and is breaking all of our hearts

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Unhappy me 1980

Welcome to Family Rights Group parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group and I see from your post that you are worried about you current situation as children’s services if involved due to your partner’s history as a sex offender which led to him being on the Sex Offenders Register (SOR) although has now been de-registered.

You are concerned that your partner is not able to be at home with you which must be very distressing for you being 6 months pregnant. Your son is in the interim care of his father, and you would like him and your partner back home with you. Referring to your partner’s offence you describe it as not “major bad” I do not believe children’s services will consider your view helpful as it minimising what he did. This is likely to be concerning to children’s services regarding your ability to protect your son and your baby when he or she arrives.

Your partner had issues with drugs and alcohol, if this is still the case, then he would be expected to address these by engaging with the appropriate services. Whether he can return home will depend on the level of risk he is considered to pose to children. He can ask children’s services to do a risk assessment of him. If there is a pre-birth plan, then you and he would have to work with the plan and follow any safety plan.

You also may need to be assessed to establish if you are able to protect your children going forward. In your post you say you are being asked to choose between your partner your son and unborn baby. Have you been working well with children’s services or trying to justify and minimise your partner’s history? It is important that you discuss with the social worker what is expected of you and your partner to satisfy them that it would be safe for him to be with you and your children.

There is a link HERE to information on our website relating where sexual abuse is a concern for children’s services. You may also wish to contact Lucy Faithfull who advises both perpetrators and non-offending partners on 0808 100 0900

You may also find our GUIDE about working with social workers helpful.

I hope this helps but should you wish to speak to one of our experienced advisers, you can telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays)

Best wishes

Suzie

[Mumtobe2024]

I’m also going through hell thanks to social services. I’ve been with my husband for 7 years. He texted a girl under 16 inciting sex when he was 19, he is now 36 and no crimes have been committed since. They never even made assessments of us before issuing a PLO letter, when we have been compliant all along and only wanted to work with them regarding our unborn baby.

The letter says to avoid going to court, I must only allow him supervised contact. I’m really hoping that I can act as ‘supervision’ as we can live together like a normal family.

[Meerkat]

What was the outcome ?