Dealing with Ex partners who are your Childrens Father

[RoxyRed3456]

Hello I'm new I have two children age 13 and 10. I have been a single parent for Two Year's and have always made the effort to co parent until His Girlfriend came along in March this year. On the First Date He took our Daughter to meet Her Lying to me and her that he was meeting no-one even tho we had a verbal agreement we would not introduce New partners unless they was with us for six months or more. That broke My trust but I still allowed Him here to see the kid's l still planned Days out as a family because the children on rare occasions want Mummy and Daddy there. Then He started saying he couldn't help when l was sick with the school runs because he was on a Date then he started cancelling the Day he always picked My daughter up on to go out with His girlfriend. Again still allowed him here. Things went rocky when l asked him to ask her if l could do a police check as her kid's don't live with her and there was an apprant abuse claim that was false apprantly she refused saying do I hate her that much and he blamed her having a sezuire on me even tho our own son has sezuires. Fast forward to recently The Girlfriend accidentally told My best friend things and added her on Facebook without knowing she was my best friend so l found out they are house haunting etc so they wasn't happy and have started being difficult he said he couldn't help This Thursday I said why where are you going this time he went all sneaky Susan and wouldn't say told me to ask her she wouldn't say said it wasn't my business but I was only asking because he said Infront of our children he wouldn't help Thursday even if they was ill. Our son been in and out of hospital recently. Anyway turns out they are going to a funeral he told My Mom in the end. Anyway I text him that I no longer want Him in My House or can co parent with him any more he makes me angry and it's not fair on the kid's to see there parents arguing. Told him a number he could call or text the kid's on vise versa I paid 15 pound so they can have data unlimited text and calls and said he can either drop them at the door or pick them up or I'll meet half way in town for hand overs. Cue the Texts of abuse you need to stop using the kid's as a weapon etc I've blocked him one everything My end and only unblocking to discuss the kid's. He has access to the kid's phone and the house phone. I've just got another text saying thanks for making me be a bad Dad but I've never called him one. I'm getting so stressed the kid's are so stressed they don't want to go out every weekend so I said he can come here every other Saturday even tho he makes me feel uncomfortable in my own home he either on his phone texting His gf or video calling her or falling asleep in two years His only took them to the cinema the park across the road or town. He goes day's without texting or calling to check on them His only just started texting Every Day now they have that number but it's me encouraging them to reply or to call Him I've told him any other time he needs to make other arrangements for them and apart from the every other Saturday he isn't allowed in here. Where do I stand. I would never stop access but I don't feel he adds positivity to my life he adds stress and I can't just roll My eye's and stay quiet anymore.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear RoxyRed3456,

Welcome to the parents’ forum and thankyou for your post. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you have been experiencing.

Family Rights Group offers advice to families who have children’s services involvement. You do not mention any involvement so I presume that this is not the case for your family. I would advise you to prioritise your children’s best interests and attempt to come to an arrangement that you, the father and your children are happy with in regards to contact. If you are unable to come to an agreement with your ex-partner then you may need to consider mediation or making an application to the family court for a Child Arrangements Order. The following organisations may be able to offer you some advice:

1) Child Law Advice - https://childlawadvice.org.uk/ - 0300 300 5480
2) Rights of Women - https://rightsofwomen.org.uk/ - they have a helpline and useful guides on their website
3) Advice Now - https://www.advicenow.org.uk/ - this website has useful guides including about making court applications
4) Support Through Court - https://www.supportthroughcourt.org/ - offer appointments to support people representing themselves at court

I hope that this is of some help.

Best wishes
Suzie