Unsupervised access to 16+ daughter

[CarltonR]

Hi everyone,
I'm looking for some advice. Apologies if this has already been covered on the forums but i haven't found it.

I was arrested for IIOC in February 2022. I am now Released Under Investigation and waiting to see what happens. I have 2 daughters aged 14 and 16. I have left the family home and moved about 1 hours drive away.

Childrens services have been involved and have done an assessment, but this has not been released. My wife has seen a draft, but we are waiting for it to be issued to both of us some 5 months after the event. According to the draft, the assessment will recommend that contact with my daughters will need to be supervised.

In the absence of anything from CS, I wrote a safety plan, which I agreed with my wife and shared with CS. This currently says supervised access, but that the plan can be changed at any time by agreement with my wife and I.

CS have since said that they do not need to allocate a social work to us and no CIN or MAPPA is required. CS have generally been poor in communicating and have not sent the assessment through after being ask to by my wife,

My STOPSO counsellor said that because my eldest is 16 (nearly 17 now) that CS can't stop her seeing me unsupervised if she wants to. Furthermore, she may even be able to be the supervisor when seeing my 14 year old. I've seen reference to unsupervised access in the forums, but nothing clear on what our rights are, or what CS are able to impose.

So what is the situation regarding unsupervised access to 16+ children?

It would make all our lives much easier if I were able to see them without supervision. Whilst I am seeing them intermittently, they are without their Dad and their Mum is having to do all the things i would've done with them with no support. It feels like they are being punished for my wrong doings. On the other hand, I don't want to do anything that could jeopardise CS view of my wife's safeguarding capabilities.

I'm not looking to move back in, but there must be a better balance between risk management and meeting the children's emotional needs than my take on the current unclear situation.

Many thanks.
C

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear CarltonR

Thank you for your post and welcome to the parents’ discussion forum. My name is Suzie, Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I will respond to your post regarding unsupervised contact with your daughters.

You are currently being investigated by the police for downloading indecent images of children. Since your arrest you have moved out of the family home. A arrangement for supervised contact has been agreed between you and your wife for you to continue having contact with your daughters on a supervised basis.

Children’s services are involved and, from what you say, appear to agree with the arrangements for contact which it seems is being supervised by your wife. They have carried out an assessment. Unfortunately, you have not mentioned in your post what assessment was carried out. It seems wrong that children’s services have not shared their assessment with you and your wife after such a long time. The social worker who did the assessment should explain to you both which assessment was done and why it has not been given to you.

It may be because of the ongoing police investigation and not wishing affect that in any way but this should be explained.

Regarding unsupervised contact with your 16-year-old, she can make up her own mind about contact with you. At her age, a court would not make an order about contact unless it was considered necessarily for her needs. It is unlikely your 16 or 17 would be asked or given the responsibility of supervising her younger sister’s contact with you.

Children’s services would, I believe, have assessed the risk to your daughters and it seems the conclusion is that an allocated social worker is not necessary from what you say in your post. If this is the case, you should ask whether it is intended to close the case. It is unusual, in my experience, for children’s services to step away from a case of this nature when the police investigation is ongoing. However, each children’s services area has its own criteria for managing their cases within the guidance for local authorities.

They should be open and transparent with you as a family about the steps they are taking and why. You say there is a lack of communication, so I suggest you contact the person who carried out the assessment and ask for meeting with the team manager. I think it is important especially as you have said that there is to be no allocated social worker on the case.

Unfortunately, children are the ones who suffer in situations like these where their family situation is completely changed.
You and your wife may find it helpful to speak with the Lucy Faithfull Foundation on 0808 100 0900 who offer advice and maybe able to assist you in supporting your daughters at this difficult time.

I hope this is helpful, but should you wish to discuss children’s services involvement further with an adviser, do telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays)

Best wishes

Suzie

[CarltonR]

Hello.
Thank you for your response. Most helpful. We are being supported by the Lucy Faithfull foundation who are brilliant.
C

[Need help 2021]

Hi if you don’t mind me asking you what did you do actually I am in a smillar situation as well