Things getting worse. Coercive control.

[FGT676]

Hi to update on my situation my ex has stopped all contact with my daughters. The social worker is siding with him and saying there is no concerns about my daughters being with him. He has been able to lie about me and even if I tell the truth about him and his control she says she needs proof. I cannot cope any longer, she lied to cafcass about things and my ex has also. He is controlling everything,emergency hearing 30th June but I don't think I stand a chance at all, the lies, control and manipulation is too much. The social worker is only seeing my exes fake persona, I am broken. I brought my girls up since they were born, only now has he suddenly started acting the perfect dad. I don't know where I stand or what to do.

[benion]

I have read back through your other 4 posts. This sounds like parental alienation. Completely stopping contact between you and your children is a breach of the court order in place, and judges take a dim view of anyone who shows contempt towards their orders.
Unfortunately, social services take a dim view of alcohol abuse and the fact you have stopped is not enough. They will want to see at least 12 months' abstinence.
I am sure you will get some contact back. Focus on you and staying sober and mentally stable.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi to update on my situation my ex has stopped all contact with my daughters. The social worker is siding with him and saying there is no concerns about my daughters being with him. He has been able to lie about me and even if I tell the truth about him and his control she says she needs proof. I cannot cope any longer, she lied to cafcass about things and my ex has also. He is controlling everything,emergency hearing 30th June but I don't think I stand a chance at all, the lies, control and manipulation is too much. The social worker is only seeing my exes fake persona, I am broken. I brought my girls up since they were born, only now has he suddenly started acting the perfect dad. I don't know where I stand or what to do.

Dear FGT676

Welcome back to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your post.

I am very sorry to hear that all contact with your daughters has stopped at present. It is clearly very distressing for you. I hope that you have some support from family, friends, your GP and other services, to help you at this time. You can find useful links to advice and support services here. You might be interested in Mothers Apart from their Children a charity offing support to mothers who are separated from their children for many varied reasons.

As another parent has noted, it is important to focus on your own wellbeing too and to maintain the changes that you have made.

It is good that you now have a date for an emergency hearing next week to consider the situation. If you look back at my response on 9th June I provided some advice about this so it may be helpful to revisit that. You are worried that you won’t have a chance. Please discuss with your solicitor how to prepare for the court hearing and ask their advice about what to expect. Please see my previous response too for some suggestions about how to address your concerns about the social worker’s assessment of the situation and how to address with children’s services or challenge in court, depending on the situation.

I hope this is helpful. Please post back or call our freephone advice line if you have any new queries about children’s services' involvement. The number is 0808 8010366 and the opening hours are Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm.

Best wishes

Suzie