Father convicted of assaulting a baby

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MurpS19
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2021 8:18 pm

Father convicted of assaulting a baby

Post by MurpS19 » Thu Jun 09, 2022 3:04 am

At 20 weeks pregnant, I found out that the father of my child was convicted of head butting and shaking his 7 month old baby from a previous relationship 8 years ago.

I told Social Services and my baby was placed on the Child Protection Register for 3 months.

We remained in a relationship but didn’t live together as I thought it would be better for me to see for myself how he handles our baby and to give him the chance to be a father under mine and social services supervision.

His parenting assessments took place at my home and I provide everything for the baby. SS voted that the child protection register was no longer necessary as I provided a loving, stable home and the father only visited 3 times per week. They advised that they wanted to see him with more unrestricted access to the baby to see how he handles stress etc.

From birth, I advised SS how it was difficult just safeguarding my baby in general as the father had no awareness of the baby’s safety or wellbeing. He would balance the baby on his chest, hold her one handed not supporting her head, lie with her on the edge of the bed, etc. When I’d ask him not to do these things, or challenge his behaviour in anyway, he would argue with me, be defiant and not address my concerns.

As soon as the baby was taken off the register, the relationship became volatile due to the constant arguments about his handling and care of her. The last argument resulted in him screaming at me, me telling him to get out of my home, him refusing to leave and then him starting to film me.

I can’t carry on in this relationship, it’s too much having to constantly safeguard my baby from him. Problem is that the father wants unsupervised access and SS are supporting him and are happy for this to happen. I don’t necessarily think that he’s intentionally harm her during the four hours that he wants to take the baby but even the thought of her being unintentionally harmed through negligence makes me feel sick to my stomach.

The last time he was in sole care of a baby, he admitted to shaking and head butting the child and was convicted of assault. He’s never been alone with our baby and he’s never had to deal with her crying.

Can I insist that his access is supervised at a contact centre. Can I go against SS recommendations and not allow him to have unsupervised access?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4210
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Father convicted of assaulting a baby

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Jun 20, 2022 1:59 pm

Dear MurpS19

Thank you for your post and welcome to the Board.

From what you write you are worried about the ‘parenting’ skills the father of your baby has, but, as you imply, children’s services are not (as worried).

You can as you say ‘go against social worker’s suggestions’ though it may be wise to ask a court to determine the contact arrangements for your child through a Child Arrangements Order. Here is a link to some helpful booklets about sorting out arrangements for children, from a charity called Advice Now.

You mention that there were arguments and sometimes raised voices between you and the father of your child, Women’s Aid may be able to give you some advice and support in relation to this.

For your information here is the site where you might find contact centres – the National Association of Child Contact Centres.

Best wishes

Suzie

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