Should I contact social services

[mdereuk]

Hi all

I currently have a 2 and a half year old son with my ex, we are going to the court progress and I currently have my son every other Saturday overnight and every other Wednesday overnight.

I have serious concerns of how my ex is looking after my son, he is very reluctant to go back to mum during handover and an example being yesterday was he wouldn't let go of me and I had to pry him out of my arms to hand him over very distressed. Yesterday as he saw my ex he froze and would/could not move and I had to pick him up. He would not even look at his mother. I attempted as I always do to encourage handover and reassure him mummy will look after him and to give mummy a hug and say Hi.

My ex had previously told me as a child she was mentally abused by her own mother and has no relationship with her mother because of this. I worry history is repeating itself.

Also my ex has told the court that my sons behavior with her includes biting, hitting and kicking her. My son does not show this behavior with me also he goes to nursery three days a week for 10hrs per day and they have confirmed he does not show this behavior. So I ask myself what is mum doing for him to demonstrate these behaviors?

My ex has always been controlling and stopped me from seeing my son for 100 days with false accusations, hence why I had to start the court process. there was no DV in our relationship and she has confirmed this with Cafcass.

Also after visits with me mum tells me how sick my son is and how tired he is. When I return him to nursery during the week they do not see these behaviors.

I understand that this could all be white noise by mum to make it harder for me to see my son but if it is not then I am worried what she is doing to cause these behaviors.

Do I have grounds to contact social services about my concerns and will they be taken seriously?

thanks for any advice.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Mdereuk,

Welcome to the parents’ board and thank you for your post.

You say that you have a 2.5 year old son with your ex-partner and that you are currently in court proceedings. You have your son every other Saturday and Wednesday overnight. You say you have concerns for how your ex partner is caring for your son; you say that he is reluctant to go back to her during handovers and appears distressed. You also have some other concerns about behaviour he reportedly shows around her that you say he does not show around you. You would like to know whether you have grounds to contact children’s services about this.

Firstly, please note that at Family Rights Group we cannot provide advice on ongoing private family law proceedings. If you would like some advice regarding this aspect of your post, you may find it helpful to contact Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480.

If you do have a safeguarding concern about your son, then you can report this to your local children’s services department or to the NSPCC by calling 08088005000. I am unable to tell you what action children’s services will take – they will look at the referral and make a decision within 24 hours based on local thresholds. You can search for this threshold document online or request it from children’s services.

I hope you have found this helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie.