Hello
Me and my girlfriend had a beautiful daughter in March,before she had even one day to recover child services were called anonymously and she was told that the baby will be taken from her if I was the father.
I was 46 when I met my girlfriend on a online dating site,we got on better than anyone I’ve met and fell madly in love,unfortunately she was not 19 as stated on her profile and for five months she lied to me because she didn’t want to lose me but she was 15.Her mother found out and reported me and I had to sign a form saying I would have nothing more to do with her.Stupidly as we loved each other so much thought we’d be ok as her birthday was five months away and we could be together but we were caught,I pleaded guilty and was charged with sexual communication with a child,receiving an 8 month sentence were I served 4.As soon as we could be together again we were and we were very very happy so much so we decided to start a family. so upon my daughters birth to be told I had to leave our home and basically disappear was very upsetting.My girlfriend was forced to accept having a care worker from 7pm till 6am every night and they showed little care whatsoever.Due to events that happened to my girlfriend when she was young she has mental health issues,when we are together she is completely fine but now I am not there with the constant sniping from the so called care workers and being now a single parent she is struggling and they are saying she is unfit as well and they have applied to the court to take our baby away.Because we were so scared at what was happening she did not put me down as father or give her my surname thinking when this blows over we can put this right so now they are taking our baby and I don’t know what to do I feel and am helpless.I spoke to ppu who said they would try to find out but no one is replying,what do I do ?
Please help
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4249
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Please help
Dear Worrieddad2022
Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser at the Family Rights Group and I will be responding to your post today.
You say you were in a ‘relationship’ with a 15-year-old vulnerable young person who has mental health issues. You met online when you were 46 years old. Due to the age difference and her daughter’s vulnerabilities, the young person’s mother reported the situation to the authorities and you were asked to sign a document agreeing to end the relationship. I will assume children’s services were involved and you were asked to sign a
written agreement to stop contact with the young person. You signed the document but did not adhere to it. You were arrested and charged with sexual communication with a child and received a prison sentence. Following the prison sentence, your communications with the young person continued and you decided to have a child together. Shortly after your daughter was born, children’s services became involved, and they asked you to move out of the family home as a safeguarding measure. You say the young person was ‘forced’ to agree to a care worker staying overnight with her and her daughter but that not much care was/is provided. As a result of the stress the young person is facing due to the situation, her mental health has deteriorated and children’s services have made an application to court to start care proceedings. You are not named on your child’s birth certificate; you feel hopeless and would like some advice.
The age of consent is 16. This means that it's illegal to have sex with anyone who's under 16 years old. This is the same no matter what your sexuality or gender is. Sexual communication with a child is often referred to as online grooming. It can take many forms and with different motivations. All forms are regarded as child sexual abuse. They are illegal and cause harm. I have added a link HERE
which you may find helpful. It is to an organisation called Stop It Now and provides a safe space for people to talk about their concerns and get help to prevent child sexual abuse. This is their helpline support - 0808 1000 900, or you can use their live chat or send them a message. I have also added a link HERE to Unlock. Unlock is a charity founded by a group of former prisoners who wanted to use their experience so that people with convictions would have better opportunities to move on in their lives.
Children’s services asked you to move out of the family. This is not a legally binding request but something that children’s services ask when they are worried about safeguarding/potential safeguarding concerns. Whilst the request is not legally binding, should the request not be met it may result in children’s services escalating their concerns. It was a good idea to adhere to this request and I would advise that you work openly and transparently with children’s services in the best interest of your child. I have added a link HERE which you may find helpful. It is our advice and guidance when working with social workers.
Children services have made an application to court to start care proceedings. I have added a link HERE
to Public Law Outline (often referred to as PLO). The Public Law Outline is a legal framework put in place by the Ministry of Justice. It aims to provide guidance for the family court on how to manage cases involving care proceedings. I have also added a link HERE to care and related proceedings. On this page you will find information about:
• Understanding care proceedings and the law
• Ten big questions about care proceedings
• Urgent protection of children (including police protection and emergency protection orders)
• The stages of care proceedings
• Interim arrangements and plans for children during care proceedings
• Contact arrangements for children during care proceedings
Mothers have PR from the moment their child is born. This is not true for all fathers though. You are not married to the young person and was not named on your daughter’s birth certificate therefore you do not have parental responsibility (PR) for her. There are several ways you can obtain this depending on the mother stance and the court agreeing it is in the child’s best interest. I have added a link HERE which advises of this is further detail. I have also added a link HERE which provides advice and supports for fathers. The aim of this page is to help fathers understand their legal rights and responsibilities and to know the options available if they need support.
Should you be added to the proceedings, you will need to instruct a solicitor. I have added a link HERE to The Law Society which has a facility to find a solicitor in your local area. You will need a child law solicitor preferably with child law accreditation. This link HERE
is our advice and support when working with solicitors.
It will be important for you and the young person to think about who may be able to look after your daughter if it is decided that her parents cannot. Children’s services have a duty to look within the family network in the first instance. I have added a link HERE which you may find helpful. It offers support and advice about different types of kinship carers and what assessments children’s services should be carrying out when assessing potential kinship carers. I have also added a link HERE to information regarding a family group conference. A family group conference is a family-led decision-making meeting. A child’s wider family and support network come together to develop a plan to support a child and keep them safe. This network may include grandparents, aunts and uncles and sometimes close family friends. The meeting is supported and facilitated by a trained and skilled independent coordinator. They help the family prepare for the meeting and attend to support.
You say the young person was ‘forced’ to agree to care workers coming into her home to provide overnight care. We would need further information before providing specific advice regarding this. For example, was a Section 20 agreement signed or under a child protection plan? or working agreement? Should the young person want direct advice please do pass on our advice line number to her (below) or of course she can use our forum to post a question.
I hope you find this information useful. Should you wish to speak to an adviser please call our free advice line: 0808 801 0366 (Mon to Fri 9.30a.m. – 3.00p.m excluding bank holidays). Or you can of course, post again on here.
Best wishes, Suzie.
Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser at the Family Rights Group and I will be responding to your post today.
You say you were in a ‘relationship’ with a 15-year-old vulnerable young person who has mental health issues. You met online when you were 46 years old. Due to the age difference and her daughter’s vulnerabilities, the young person’s mother reported the situation to the authorities and you were asked to sign a document agreeing to end the relationship. I will assume children’s services were involved and you were asked to sign a
written agreement to stop contact with the young person. You signed the document but did not adhere to it. You were arrested and charged with sexual communication with a child and received a prison sentence. Following the prison sentence, your communications with the young person continued and you decided to have a child together. Shortly after your daughter was born, children’s services became involved, and they asked you to move out of the family home as a safeguarding measure. You say the young person was ‘forced’ to agree to a care worker staying overnight with her and her daughter but that not much care was/is provided. As a result of the stress the young person is facing due to the situation, her mental health has deteriorated and children’s services have made an application to court to start care proceedings. You are not named on your child’s birth certificate; you feel hopeless and would like some advice.
The age of consent is 16. This means that it's illegal to have sex with anyone who's under 16 years old. This is the same no matter what your sexuality or gender is. Sexual communication with a child is often referred to as online grooming. It can take many forms and with different motivations. All forms are regarded as child sexual abuse. They are illegal and cause harm. I have added a link HERE
which you may find helpful. It is to an organisation called Stop It Now and provides a safe space for people to talk about their concerns and get help to prevent child sexual abuse. This is their helpline support - 0808 1000 900, or you can use their live chat or send them a message. I have also added a link HERE to Unlock. Unlock is a charity founded by a group of former prisoners who wanted to use their experience so that people with convictions would have better opportunities to move on in their lives.
Children’s services asked you to move out of the family. This is not a legally binding request but something that children’s services ask when they are worried about safeguarding/potential safeguarding concerns. Whilst the request is not legally binding, should the request not be met it may result in children’s services escalating their concerns. It was a good idea to adhere to this request and I would advise that you work openly and transparently with children’s services in the best interest of your child. I have added a link HERE which you may find helpful. It is our advice and guidance when working with social workers.
Children services have made an application to court to start care proceedings. I have added a link HERE
to Public Law Outline (often referred to as PLO). The Public Law Outline is a legal framework put in place by the Ministry of Justice. It aims to provide guidance for the family court on how to manage cases involving care proceedings. I have also added a link HERE to care and related proceedings. On this page you will find information about:
• Understanding care proceedings and the law
• Ten big questions about care proceedings
• Urgent protection of children (including police protection and emergency protection orders)
• The stages of care proceedings
• Interim arrangements and plans for children during care proceedings
• Contact arrangements for children during care proceedings
Mothers have PR from the moment their child is born. This is not true for all fathers though. You are not married to the young person and was not named on your daughter’s birth certificate therefore you do not have parental responsibility (PR) for her. There are several ways you can obtain this depending on the mother stance and the court agreeing it is in the child’s best interest. I have added a link HERE which advises of this is further detail. I have also added a link HERE which provides advice and supports for fathers. The aim of this page is to help fathers understand their legal rights and responsibilities and to know the options available if they need support.
Should you be added to the proceedings, you will need to instruct a solicitor. I have added a link HERE to The Law Society which has a facility to find a solicitor in your local area. You will need a child law solicitor preferably with child law accreditation. This link HERE
is our advice and support when working with solicitors.
It will be important for you and the young person to think about who may be able to look after your daughter if it is decided that her parents cannot. Children’s services have a duty to look within the family network in the first instance. I have added a link HERE which you may find helpful. It offers support and advice about different types of kinship carers and what assessments children’s services should be carrying out when assessing potential kinship carers. I have also added a link HERE to information regarding a family group conference. A family group conference is a family-led decision-making meeting. A child’s wider family and support network come together to develop a plan to support a child and keep them safe. This network may include grandparents, aunts and uncles and sometimes close family friends. The meeting is supported and facilitated by a trained and skilled independent coordinator. They help the family prepare for the meeting and attend to support.
You say the young person was ‘forced’ to agree to care workers coming into her home to provide overnight care. We would need further information before providing specific advice regarding this. For example, was a Section 20 agreement signed or under a child protection plan? or working agreement? Should the young person want direct advice please do pass on our advice line number to her (below) or of course she can use our forum to post a question.
I hope you find this information useful. Should you wish to speak to an adviser please call our free advice line: 0808 801 0366 (Mon to Fri 9.30a.m. – 3.00p.m excluding bank holidays). Or you can of course, post again on here.
Best wishes, Suzie.
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