Help please with a cpp

[Fedupwithss]

Hi thank you for accepting me on here.
I am wondering if someone could advise me please?
My 3 youngest children were placed on a child protection plan at an ICPC meeting. My daughter made some allegations that she later admitted she was lying for attention and has a history of it - seen at school a lot!
When they put us on a plan I asked them what category we were being placed under and they said emotional abuse, I asked them how we fitted in to this and the chair person said "you sat through this meeting too" and I replied "yes and I still don't understand" and she replied "and I don't have to tell you you can find out from the paperwork". This same lady told me that my husband's culture didn't matter as it wasn't her culture! When the new social worker attended my house (senior court sw apparently) she told me we didn't fit any of the categories and they basically put us on the emotional abuse category as it's the widest and they could manipulate to get us on it!
Two of the "professionals" in the meeting had never met myself or my children or my husband and wrote reports on us based on two lines they had in drs notes - all positive but rated us a 4-5 out of 10! How can they write reports that rate you so low if they have never met you or your family? The police said they rates us a 7 and they said no need for a report the children are perfectly safe and well looked after - the rest of the people in the meeting kept ignoring the police - the police had met us.
The school neglected to inform the meeting of my daughters history of lying and rated us a 4-5 saying we didn't fight for her - we always fight for her and have a huge backlog of paperwork proving this!
My question is, how can this be legal? How can professionals lie and write reports that put a family through this if they withhold information or have never met any of you? How are icpc's allowed by law to put you on a cpp if you don't fit into a category?
I am absolutely livid - we home educate which is not supposed to be a safeguarding matter and yet the sw told me in her opinion home ed IS a welfare concern which is against the government guidelines! She also said my house was lovely and it was clean, toys and evidence of education everywhere, the children were bright, confident and happy and cuddly with me.
I am utterly confused at why we are going through a cpp? The social worker told the chair "I want them on a cpp I want to be able to force them to do what I want" - how is this power play legal? Any help would be amazing please!

[Bossman1959]

Hi fedupwithss,
I am sorry to hear you are having difficulties.

This must be very frustrating for you, to be in such a place and not know why.

I am a member of the site not an official so can't make any official comments.

But my first question is, you mention school and lying, but then you talk about home Ed. This confuses me do children do both.

As for culture, it is part of the safe guarding routine that whilst culture is acknowledge and embraced, certain practices with in your culture my be termed abusive. This may be where the chair is coming from.

You can get reports of the meeting,to try and see where they are going with this. You can challenge things in the notes you disagree with and why.

All professionals related to a ccp, are responsible to a governing body, where you can complain if you wish.

The current system is flawed, the SW doesn't see enough of the children imo and the parents feel they have to comply with the SW or the SW will say they are not cooperating. Where in fact the parent may know better about certain issues

Our children learn from thier peers, and your daughters behaviour of lying for attention you say, could be symptomatic and/or learned from another. If you are able it might be worth finding a good children's counselor, who will listen and relay the child's fears etc.

Hope this helps, don't forget to self care, you need to be at your best for your children.

[Fedupwithss]

Thank you for your reply
Sorry I really wasn't clear about school and home ed. My eldest is at college, my dd (who lies for attention) is at secondary school and my two youngest are home ed, the third youngest is going to secondary school in September so at that point it will just be my youngest who is home ed!
The cultural reference is about my youngest's nickname "warchild" in my husband's culture strong children who are loud and forthright are prized because they are the ones who thrive and survive where he is from, but they twisted the nickname to make it sound like she is loud because there is a negative issue. I explained to the chair that is a positive proud thing for my husband due to his culture and she then made the comment!
I tried to get therapy for my daughter for lying and anxiety but the sw blocked it and said she wasn't having it! I have had to put referrals back in for her after pointing out at the ICPC that the SW said no - how is that putting the child's welfare paremount?
This same sw at the ICPC said what I had said about my kids lives was too good to be true and she doesn't believe us
They also said I have a lot of special needs in my house so I need support..... My eldest is 19 and I am the one who got him through school with a GCSE (when I was told he wouldn't even finish school) and he is now training to be a vet nurse without their help! When the senior SW and fw came round I was showing them the sensory play we all do and the children always have on offer and they said oh we have never heard of these things they are brilliant and wrote them down to share with other families (which I don't mind - but if I have more experience and ideas how are they supposed to help?)
I am lost and ashamed and angry as our whole lives centre around our children and yet we are being treated like we are vile liars who hurt our kids :'(

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Fedupwithss

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am sorry that there has been a delay in relying to your query, you have had some support and advice from another parent in the meantime. I can see that you are finding the current child protection process confusing , distressing and disempowering. I hope that my advice will help you navigate your way through it.

As a child protection plan has been made for your younger children this means that it has been decided, at the multi-agency meeting, based on the information shared, that your children are at risk of significant harm. However, it is clear that the reason for this and the category of emotional abuse used has not been properly explained to you. It is true that it is a broad term; it is defined in statutory guidance as ‘the persistent emotional maltreatment of a child to the extent that it has a severe impact on the child’s emotional development’ (Working Together to Safeguard Children, 2018) . In the situation you described, perhaps there are concerns about how the children are spoken about or that they are blamed or that there is a lack of understanding of their emotional needs. The report for the conference should have clarified exactly what the concerns are and how they have been identified. The social worker should be able to discuss this in more detail with you so that you will be able to work together better to address any concerns. You can find more specific information about the issue of emotional abuse here.

From what you say, despite the concerns which have led to the child protection plans being made there is also an acknowledgement of the strengths in your family e.g. the home conditions, how the children present and the sensory equipment they can access at home.

It is important to try to work with the professionals so that the child protection plan can end. These tips for working with social workers may be useful to consider.

It is always best to try to discuss any difficulties you are having with the person involved. However, if you think that you need to make a complaint about any aspect of the social worker’s report or behaviour, the management or decision of the conference or about other professionals you can do so. As the parent who responded to you has already pointed out each agency will have its own complaints procedure; we can only advise about children’s services. You can find out how to make a complaint about children’s service here. However, if you want to make a complaint about the conference or decision please see here. We also have a template letter (2) that you can use.

You or the children may benefit from an advocate to assist you with the child protection process. Unfortunately, advocacy for parents is difficult to find but you can find out more in our guides to advocacy for parents and children and we have a template letter (1) to help request an advocate for a child protection conference or core group.

You may be interested in the services offered for families with disabilities here and children with special educational needs here.

Please post again on this forum if you have a new query or call our freephone advice helpline if you would like to speak to an advisor – 0808 801 0366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm.

Best wishes

Suzie