Desperate for advice

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Joined: Wed May 11, 2022 5:35 pm

Desperate for advice

Post by Butterflylilly » Thu May 12, 2022 10:07 am

I would really appreciate some advice. I had 2 children taken from my care when I was 18 years old (11 years ago) I was in a very violent relationship with a man that was about 5 years older than me. I had no support system at the time and I was isolated. My children were adopted due to the violence and me not being able to keep them safe, I take responsibility for this. 11 years on I'm in a new relationship that is coming up to 4 years, I have turned my life around. I drive, work full time, have a lovely home and a dog. I am also pregnant. Of course when I first went to my midwife I was open and honest about my past with my children, and she made CS aware. I had a SW come to my house for a meeting, they were here for over 2 hours spoke to me and my partner and looked around my house. Everything seemed fine, the SW assured me I would have my assessment by the end of the week and that usually after 6 weeks of everything has gone well we will hear no more from them.

5 weeks and 2 days later I received the assessment, not only was it very late but it was a complete shambles. Firstly they refer to me as the incorrect name several times throughout the assessment.
They have information of family members incorrect. My partner stated he can have unlimited amount of time off work when the baby is born, he stated that this would not be an issue financially, whereas the report says my partner can't have much time off work due to the financial impact.

We were asked if we abuse drugs or alcohol, we both said no to drugs and I said no to alcohol and my partner stayes he drinks on a very rare occasion eg a celebration. The SW said in the assessment they are worried about drug and alcohol misuse. I would like to add I have previously done a drug test and it came back negative.

They also acuse me of being dishonest as when the SW asked me if I have ever been charged with anything by the Police, I got my DBS check out I had done in 2018 and told them the 2 charges that were on there. Apparently he wanted to know every police report that I had ever made and that had ever been made against me. To me they are not charges and I was never dishonest. I gave permission for them to access my police records and gave any information I was asked for.

They also brought up a previous relationship I was in that was violet and again I was open and honest and told them it didn't last very long as I had domestic violence Councelling and got out of that relationship as soon as possible. This person then broke into my house several times and I had to get the housing association to move me to get away. For at least a year I was not inn that relationship but had to make police reports due to him turning up at my work and house uninvited.

Since I moved I have not made a police report for just over 5 years, and nothing has ever been reported between me and my partner as there is nothing to report.

In the assessment there were tasks set I needed to complete within 2 weeks, buy absolutely no Information whatsoever of how to complete any of these or contact details. This assessment was never proof read by the looks of it and it was signed off by a manager.

I returned the email and tried getting in touch with the SW several times with no response, I have since found out he has left his position as a SW. But he had received my correspondences before he left and basically must have chose to ignore them. Being unhappy about the situation I made a complaint which I now see as a waste of time. They do not seem interested in my complaint, and have offered no resolution other than I will be getting a new SW as mine has left his position.

There must be something I can do about this. It has now been 11 weeks since their visit and all they have done is sent me an inaccurate assessment.

I am still willing to complete things and been asking for the information but I just get ignored. It does not give me much confidence in CS.

What do I do and where do I go from here?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Desperate for advice

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Jun 01, 2022 3:32 pm

Dear Butterflylilly

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am very sorry that there has been a delay in responding to your post.

First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy. I am sorry to hear of the difficulties and loss you experienced in the past and that the current pre-birth assessment you are having is problematic.

You have described how there are a number of factual errors, discrepancies and lack of clear recommendations and guidance in the assessment completed by the original social worker who has now left. You were right to make a complaint about this. You will now have a new social worker but has the information in the original assessment been amended or an addendum attached to show the areas of disagreement or where you have asked for errors to be corrected? It is very important that the new social worker has accurate information so make sure that they are aware of the issues with the original assessment. If this has not happened, you may wish to proceed with your complaint. You can find out more about how to do this here.

If there are tasks outstanding that you were asked to do but have been unable to complete due to a lack of clarification from the original social worker then do chase this up with the new social worker/their manager urgently. You don’t say when the baby is due but obviously if 11 weeks have passed since the first children’s services’ visit then your pregnancy is progressing and you need an update from them about what is their proposed plan.

From the information you provide you and your partner are in a very different situation to your circumstances when you last had children’s services involvement. So any assessment or plan must reflect this while also considering the previous history. Do you know why the social worker referred to a concern re substance misuse ?

If you still haven’t heard back from children’s services then you may need to contact the Complaints Department directly about the lack of communication or you could ask another key professional such as your midwife or GP to chase up children’s services and to ask them to provide an update and plan.

We have some tailored advice about pre-birth assessments here . In particular please see this explanation of good practice when doing a pre-birth assessment which you can refer children’s services to. We also have tips for working with social workers that you may find helpful.

As the situation may have moved on since you last posted, please post back, or ring our freephone advice helpline if you would like to speak to an adviser; the number is 0808 8010366 and the service is open from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. Mon to Fri (except bank holidays).

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes


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