Husband arrested for sexually communicating with a child

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Arnolis
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2022 10:40 pm

Husband arrested for sexually communicating with a child

Post by Arnolis » Thu May 05, 2022 9:08 am

On Tuesday 26th April we received a call from the police. My husband was arrested for sexually communicating with a child. How could this happen? At first I wanted to kill him, definitely throwing him out and would take every penny from him to support me. I had to tell my grown up children they would be receiving calls from the police. Since that day we have talked, cried, rowed and hugged. Our daughter has screamed, cried and hugged him. Our son is struggling most. It's causing problems in his marriage that's the main worry for me. The actual offence was done over 3 days at the beginning of the month. He never wanted to meet them just a photo.Since then he had received a photo from someone else but he deleted it immediately. He says he didn't go looking for a minor it was on a chat room, he'd had a drink and thought it was an adult but they then told him they were 13 . He carried on . It was the police not a real child thank goodness. He's devastated at how he's hurt the family. He's joined AA as he has a drink problem, gone to the doctors re his impotence but as he has high blood pressure not much they can do. Now with a counsellor for support. My son adores his father and finally spoke to him yesterday. Whatever decision I make re our future will hurt the family. My son wants me to stay with his dad but it will effect his marriage. My daughter supports any decision but would like me to stay married as the grandchildren love him and will be devastated. I love him dearly but can I forgive him.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 3457
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Husband arrested for sexually communicating with a child

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri May 06, 2022 1:10 pm

Dear Arnolis

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear of the difficulties that your family are currently experiencing. I can understand that you are struggling to make sense of the situation and that it has stirred up a lot of emotions in you. You are trying to make decisions about your marriage and considering the impact on your family of your husband’s arrest for child sexual abuse offences. It is good to hear that he has some some support in place too.

From your post, I think that your children are adults. We give advice to families where social workers are involved with children in the family. If you don’t have children under 18 living with you then children’s services will not be involved with you directly. However, you mention grandchildren so children’s services will be in touch with their parents to ensure that they put steps in place to safeguard the children. Usually this means not allowing any unsupervised or even supervised contact between the alleged offender and children. This could be in addition to any bail conditions that are in place. Parents may be asked to continue to restrict or supervise contact once the criminal justice process has been completed too.

If your adult children need any advice about potential children’s services involvement then please do encourage them to post on this forum or to call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm.

If you would like any advice about children’s services becoming involved with your grandchildren please post on our kinship carers’ forum which is dedicated to advising grandparents and other relatives.

If I have misunderstood and you have children in your household please post back here.

Have you come across the Stop it Now website and their Family and Friends forum? I would recommend both to you as they advise partners of alleged or convicted sex offenders and have a specialist forum too for advice, support, and information. The forum aims to provide valuable support from others who are affected by the online behaviour of someone they care about, to answer questions, and reduce anxieties and sense of isolation.

I hope that this is of some help.

Best wishes

Suzie

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