Partner arrested for iioc

Terrifiedparent
Posts: 30
Joined: Sun May 01, 2022 8:52 pm

Partner arrested for iioc

Post by Terrifiedparent » Wed May 04, 2022 9:16 pm

Hello,
Can't believe I'm writing this.
We had "the knock" Friday 29th April, my partner has been viewing iioc, he admitted it and I found out there were 7 counts altogether though unsure of which category at this stage. He is currently on bail for 28 days and living with a family member. Bail conditions seem standard...can't be at home and no unsupervised contact with under 18s.

Social services phoned Sunday and asked if we were still carrying on with our relationship and I just said at this moment I don't know I was feeling numb and hadn't thought about it.
Anyway, I've decided I want to carry on with the relationship as I have no worries about our child being at risk (aware CS will think differently)

My worry is how long or even if its possible it will be before he can move back in again, is it going to be a huge fight.

Can someone please give me their experience, positive or negative. (Positives would be wonderful though)

Also any advice greatly received as no matter how much I read I cant get my head around anything

Thank you xx

Terrifiedparent
Posts: 30
Joined: Sun May 01, 2022 8:52 pm

Re: Partner arrested for iioc

Post by Terrifiedparent » Thu May 05, 2022 7:57 am

Also forgot to mention this is his first offence and he is already seeking help from the gp and also doing courses online and speaking to stop it now.
I've done a safeguarding course online in hope that the social realise I'm taking this seriously.
I fear we have a long road ahead

Need help 2021
Posts: 100
Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2021 9:23 pm

Re: Partner arrested for iioc

Post by Need help 2021 » Thu May 05, 2022 5:41 pm

Hi there I am in a similar situation like yours and I have to be honest it’s a nightmare it’s been over a year since this case is going on for and we are still not staying together it been taken to court to decide if my husband actually has interest in kids or not . How is your partner get caught and what does he say to you ?

Terrifiedparent
Posts: 30
Joined: Sun May 01, 2022 8:52 pm

Re: Partner arrested for iioc

Post by Terrifiedparent » Thu May 05, 2022 6:11 pm

He downloaded content and has admitted to
Last edited by Terrifiedparent on Sat Jun 11, 2022 2:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Need help 2021
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Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2021 9:23 pm

Re: Partner arrested for iioc

Post by Need help 2021 » Thu May 05, 2022 7:48 pm

If you don’t mind me asking you how old is your child and they will do assessment but in terms of the police case they would want to know information from that as well .

Terrifiedparent
Posts: 30
Joined: Sun May 01, 2022 8:52 pm

Re: Partner arrested for iioc

Post by Terrifiedparent » Thu May 05, 2022 9:19 pm

My child is 6.
Hes still on bail until the end of the month so we are unsure on what the outcome is from the police yet but he's adamant there was nothing else.

We have the assessment Monday, the SW seems lovely but will see what happens Monday I suppose

Need help 2021
Posts: 100
Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2021 9:23 pm

Re: Partner arrested for iioc

Post by Need help 2021 » Thu May 05, 2022 10:35 pm

My advice is work with social service it is very important and see what they think of it .

Terrifiedparent
Posts: 30
Joined: Sun May 01, 2022 8:52 pm

Re: Partner arrested for iioc

Post by Terrifiedparent » Thu May 05, 2022 11:19 pm

Thank you, we had a quick chat today and I was very open and honest with her in saying I want a relationship with my partner and that I have spoken to him. Like I say she does seem lovely but we will see how it goes.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Partner arrested for iioc

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon May 09, 2022 10:43 am

Terrifiedparent wrote: Wed May 04, 2022 9:16 pm Hello,
Can't believe I'm writing this.
We had "the knock" Friday 29th April, my partner has been viewing iioc, he admitted it and I found out there were 7 counts altogether though unsure of which category at this stage. He is currently on bail for 28 days and living with a family member. Bail conditions seem standard...can't be at home and no unsupervised contact with under 18s.

Social services phoned Sunday and asked if we were still carrying on with our relationship and I just said at this moment I don't know I was feeling numb and hadn't thought about it.
Anyway, I've decided I want to carry on with the relationship as I have no worries about our child being at risk (aware CS will think differently)

My worry is how long or even if its possible it will be before he can move back in again, is it going to be a huge fight.

Can someone please give me their experience, positive or negative. (Positives would be wonderful though)

Also any advice greatly received as no matter how much I read I cant get my head around anything

Thank you xx
Dear Terrifiedparent,

Welcome to the parents’ forum and thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you and your family are facing and I hope that the following advice is of some help.

You partner has been arrested for viewing IIOC, is currently on bail and is not allowed unsupervised contact with any children. You say that you are meeting with the social worker today and that they will be undertaking an assessment. You have informed children’s services that you intend to continue your relationship with your partner and you are worried about how long it might take until your partner is able to move back to the family home.

Each situation is judged differently and as such it is not possible to give a timescale for when (and if) children’s services might feel that your partner can return to the family. Need help 2021 has given you some good advice and I would encourage you and your partner to work openly and honestly with children’s services in order to move towards a safe outcome for your child. You can find some top tips about working with a social worker here and you may find it helpful to read our website pages here as they contain information and children’s services involvement when there is a concern about child sexual abuse.

It is important to note that if your partner’s bail conditions are lifted then children’s services have no legal jurisdiction to dictate contact arrangements between your child and their father (they can make recommendations but cannot enforce these). However if children’s services feel that your child may be at risk of significant harm (for example if your partner moved back in against their recommendation) then they may escalate to child protection enquiries or to court proceedings. In order to make informed decisions is very important that you understand what the consequences could be if you go against children’s services recommendations.

It is positive that your partner is seeking support from the GP and has contacted Stop it Now. He will need to work with children’s services so that they can make judgements about what the risk may be towards your child. Similarly it is positive that you have done a safeguarding course – it may be a good idea to ask the social worker if there are any that they particularly recommend. The Lucy Faithfull Foundation offers various courses for example.

I hope that the above is of some help. Please do post back again if you have any further questions, or you are welcome to call our free, confidential helpline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) to speak with an adviser.

Best wishes,
Suzie

Need help 2021
Posts: 100
Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2021 9:23 pm

Re: Partner arrested for iioc

Post by Need help 2021 » Mon May 09, 2022 5:45 pm

Hi I wanted to know how was assessment and what did the socail Woker say will Be the next steps ?

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