My Partner is a Sex Offender And We want to Try for A family.

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Princess2018
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Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2022 10:26 pm

My Partner is a Sex Offender And We want to Try for A family.

Post by Princess2018 » Sat Apr 09, 2022 5:11 pm

Hi, I'm new to the Forum and I've tried to seek advice elsewhere and I've had no luck so hopefully I'll find some answers here.

So I've been with my Partner for over a year (nearly 2years) and we are considering thinking about starting a family. I am aware for the procedures in place if we were to start a family as I have been involved with social services and had Parenting Assessments previous to my own child being under them.
The worry I have is, would my Partner be able to live with me if we have a child? He's under as a high risk which I'm sure they have got wrong, as he has a job, has his freedom, socialises with others and has access to his brothers Children one being a 2yr old Girl. He has to have someone with him whilst he interacts with her, but he is no danger to her.

I'm confused as I believe that he wouldn't be able to stay in the same household as the baby but he has other views and believes. Can someone please clear this up for me?

Need help 2021
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Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2021 9:23 pm

Re: My Partner is a Sex Offender And We want to Try for A family.

Post by Need help 2021 » Sat Apr 09, 2022 7:47 pm

Iji I just saw your post if you don’t mind me asking what did your partner do ?

Need help 2021
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Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2021 9:23 pm

Re: My Partner is a Sex Offender And We want to Try for A family.

Post by Need help 2021 » Sat Apr 09, 2022 7:50 pm

And is he allowed to stay with you at the moment with your child or he can’t ?

Princess2018
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Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2022 10:26 pm

Re: My Partner is a Sex Offender And We want to Try for A family.

Post by Princess2018 » Sat Apr 09, 2022 10:27 pm

My child isn't in my care, so it's easier for him to come and stay with me.

Need help 2021
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Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2021 9:23 pm

Re: My Partner is a Sex Offender And We want to Try for A family.

Post by Need help 2021 » Sat Apr 09, 2022 10:52 pm

If you was to have a baby with him yes you will have to do risk assessment but to be honest like you said he is a hight risk they will tell you to choose between him or the baby .

WhiteOrchid
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Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2021 9:07 pm

Re: My Partner is a Sex Offender And We want to Try for A family.

Post by WhiteOrchid » Wed Apr 13, 2022 4:10 pm

Hi Princess2018,

I just wanted to add a little more advice to the above comment as I would agree that the situation may be difficult if you partner is considered high risk. However, I do think the situation is dependent on many elements which may explain your partners point of view. Firstly, do you both understand why your partner is consider high risk and what are the conditions of his SHPO? I am assuming he has one. There may be conditions which state that he is not to have unsupervised access at all, or perhaps it would say no unsupervised access except for his own children. I would suggest reviewing the conditions as if it does limit his access to children, I think these would need to be legally challenged in court as Child Services would certainly uphold the decision. If his SHPO does not statement any conditions with regards to children, this may make your case a little easier as legally your partner can return home but CS may escalate the case if you are not seen as "protective". The biggest issue I believe you will face is that even if your partner can return home, authorities will certainly not want him there through the night as it is "impossible" to supervise. My suggestion for this would be to discuss night shifts whereby your partner will still be able to develop a relationship with the child through the day, under your supervision but at night, the risk is eliminated. Your partner can then gradually increase his presence through limited night stays satisfying the concerns of those involved.

The decision/acceptance of your partner to return home also depends on the work each of you has done. I recall you saying you've already had some involvement with CS so you probably know more than me at this point, but I imagine they will look at what safeguarding courses you have completed, practicalities (day to day) in safeguarding the child, how you intend on protecting the child in the future, what work your partner is doing etc., so really any positive steps in recognizing/reducing the risks posed by your partner should be outlined and discussed with all agencies who will be involved before the child arrives.

Unfortunately, all of this is very much dependent on your social worker also. Some recognize the important of keeping families together and others see the threat as too great but I do think it is very unlikely for your partner to have unsupervised access, staying at home in the early months/years.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: My Partner is a Sex Offender And We want to Try for A family.

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Apr 13, 2022 4:59 pm

Princess2018 wrote: Sat Apr 09, 2022 5:11 pm Hi, I'm new to the Forum and I've tried to seek advice elsewhere and I've had no luck so hopefully I'll find some answers here.

So I've been with my Partner for over a year (nearly 2years) and we are considering thinking about starting a family. I am aware for the procedures in place if we were to start a family as I have been involved with social services and had Parenting Assessments previous to my own child being under them.

The worry I have is, would my Partner be able to live with me if we have a child? He's under as a high risk which I'm sure they have got wrong, as he has a job, has his freedom, socialises with others and has access to his brothers Children one being a 2yr old Girl. He has to have someone with him whilst he interacts with her, but he is no danger to her.

I'm confused as I believe that he wouldn't be able to stay in the same household as the baby but he has other views and believes. Can someone please clear this up for me?
Dear Princess2018

Welcome to Family Rights Group’s parents’ forum and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

You are in a relationship with a person who is on the Sex Offenders Register and are considering having a baby together. He is classed as ‘high risk’ by police or probation and must be supervised around children such as his niece. Understandably, you are concerned about what the implications of having a baby with your partner will be due to his offence and are seeking advice about what to expect.

As I think you are aware, children’s services will need to do a pre-birth assessment if you become pregnant, in view of your partner’s history. The social worker will need to work with you both to determine what risk your partner may pose and also to consider your protective capacity. You may find this advice for parents-to-be helpful to read.

Unfortunately, it is not possible to predict the outcome of any assessment as this will depend on a range of factors and individual circumstances. Please see the information contained here about the different ways in which children’s services work with children and their families.

You could contact your local authority children’s services’ department prior to becoming pregnant in order to enquire about their protocol in this situation.

If you are having a pre-birth assessment it will be important that you work closely with the social worker, understand any concerns they may have; consider engaging with any recommended support and work with any recommendations the social worker may make depending on their assessment of any risk your partner may pose and how you can safeguard your baby.

It might be helpful for you and your partner to contact the Lucy Faithful Foundation Stop it Now service on 0808 1000 900, as they work with and advise people who have committed sexual offences against children, and their partners or family members.

The issue of your partner’s involvement/contact with a baby that you have together will be focus of the assessment and a key element of any recommendations made. Your concerns that you may be asked not to allow your partner to have any unsupervised contact with the baby and that he should not live in your household are reasonable. However, as explained above this will be based on an assessment of your baby’s needs, the risks posed by your partner and how you can ensure the baby’s safety.

As the baby’s mother you will have parental responsibility as soon as the baby is born and so will be the main decision maker for them. However, if you make a decision that children’s services believe would put your baby at significant risk of harm, then they may take action to protect your child; this could include applying to the courts for removal.

I am sorry not to be able to give a definitive answer about what children’s services’ response will be, for the reasons explained. You will need to be prepared to work with a social worker if you and your partner do decide to have a child together and to be prepared that they will make recommendations about how best to safeguard your baby.

Please do post back or call our freephone advice helpline on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays) if you have children’s services involvement.

Best wishes

Suzie

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