SS involvement, child protection I need help!

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Firsttimemum1212
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Dec 23, 2021 12:08 pm

SS involvement, child protection I need help!

Post by Firsttimemum1212 » Wed Mar 30, 2022 5:08 pm

Hi I’ve posted previously about my situation. I am now in a total different one.

Me and my child’s dad have not been in a great place.

we are meant to be having family time we aren’t he’s not prioritising that and is onlh seeinf his eldest. We went out this weekend he didn’t bother with our baby. Then on Sunday morning threw a strop at me.

Since then it’s got so much worse I’ve said some things about hating life and hating the responsibility however I would never ever harm myself because I wouldn’t and I don’t even let it get that deep. He has messages of this and can use it against me with social worker.


However today he has threatened to kill me if I ever lie again ( I have lied to protect me yes) this was over the phone so I’ve text him about it to get him to admit to saying it. However I am now scared they’ll use what he can say against me against me and take my child rather than see I’m just struggling because of him and I do feel lonely and some days being a mummy is hard and the responsibility does drown me but I love her so so much.

Someone please help me. I feel like he can do and say what he wants and I’m backed into a corner because of the Thorne I’ve said too

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 3460
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: SS involvement, child protection I need help!

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Apr 04, 2022 10:33 am

Dear Firsttimemum2012,

Welcome to the parents’ board and thank you for your post.

You say that you have posted previously and I can see that your baby is on a child protection plan due to concerns of domestic abuse in your relationship. You previously said that things were going well, however there now appears to be some issues – you do not feel that your partner is prioritising your child and you are concerned that he may use some text messages ‘against you’ in which you say you have been struggling. You also say that he has threatened to kill you if you lie again – you are worried that if you say anything to the social worker, your baby will be removed from you.

Firstly, I am sorry to hear about the distress you have been and that you are going through a difficult time right now. I want to reassure you that it is okay to go through ups and downs when you first have a child. You are worried that your partner will go to the social worker to try and use this against you – this is not a supportive or caring thing to do. I would encourage you to go to the social worker yourself and to be open and honest about how you are feeling – the social worker is there to support you and your child and may be able to put some extra help in place. Your partner threatening your because you need support is a form of coercive and controlling behaviour.

Secondly, it appears that your partner’s behaviour is contributing to how you are feeling. Children’s services are concerned about domestic abuse and I would strongly advise you to share this with the social worker. The fact that your partner has threatened to kill you is very serious and both you and your baby could be at significant risk. Are you still working with domestic abuse services? Do you feel able to tell someone from there about this? The professionals around you are there to help. If you would like to speak to someone, you can contact the national domestic abuse hotline on 0808 2000 247.

You are worried that children’s services may remove your child because of these occurrences. Removing a child is a very drastic step to take and children’s services will only apply to the courts to do this when they have very significant concerns about the safety of a child. Nevertheless, it is important to remember that whilst your partner’s behaviour is not your fault, they are expecting you to take steps as the other parent to protect your baby.

I hope you have found this helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie.

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