Help

[8mum]

It’s a long story il try and keep it short, so basically we have had social service involvement for a few months now we had a meeting in nov last year and it was decided that my 8 children didn’t need to go in the child protection register but that they needed to go down the child in need route we just needed some support since that meeting I’ve met two social workers who Came in my house met the kids etc no concerns raised then I found out I had an allocated social worker she came to the house just before Xmas and dropped it bags of clothes and toys baring in mind ine of the issues was my house needed decluttering as I have a lot of toys etc I invited her in she declined then I text her twice to ask for help and was ignored then we got a social worker who was taking over my allocated one for time being as she was I’ll and it all went down hill from there let’s just say we clashed we didn’t like each other but we engaged with her well and always let her in the house etc always let her talk to kids the second time I met her she looked at the rubbish in the back and said mice what you can and il ask my manager about a skip she gave us until the Thursday to do what we could we moved the lot every Bon bag went to tip cost us almost £100 in petrol then I text her Thursday to ask her when was she coming to see it she said she needed to see kids again and house so I’m like why it’s not been 4 weeks you were only here a week ago nothings changed so anyway she didn’t come she sent someone else I’d forgot to tell her that my 18 month old had a bruise from falling of a ride on and my 4 month old had a bruise because as I was sat with her watching little baby bum my 18 month old decided he would throw a stacking cup over his shoulder unfortunately catching my 5 month old making a mark so anyway this different lady came Thursday I explained how they got the bruises etc she didn’t raise any concerns infact she said to us “ I don’t know how you do it you deserve a medal” anyway Friday a day I will never forget there’s meant to be a virtual meeting at 9.30am I’m calling up to get onto it as I’m calling that social worker who doesn’t like us calls to say it’s been cancelled in coming up now to discuss bruise so I’m annoyed by this point she clearly thinks I’ve done it so I am short with her but let her in again I tell her exactly the same as I told the lady the previous day then she had me strip my baby naked so she can inspect her which I do then she wants to call her manager outside I tell her no she can call her in front of my husband and I as it’s about us she snaps “ fine” then she says we need to take your three youngest to the hospital for a medical I then bust into tears and walk out the room to call my mum then I get annoyed again I go back down and tell her to get out my house she said “ I can’t il have to call the police” so I then said “ fine il go but not with you il go with the other lady” and I went back upstairs to get the childrens things together meanwhile that which called the police anyway and I don’t know what she said but she much of said I was kicking right off because not even two minutes later 3 police vans and 3 police cars arrive with sirens and everything then rush our house go to talk to her then they come storing out grab my husband and proceed to arrest him for child neglect he then kicks off because we have done nothing wrong but then he realised our daughter was stood near so he stopped resisting but then he got a full bottle of mace in his face and flung around the kitchen I looked and saw my 3 year old autistic daughter looking petrified covering her mouth like she could taste the made so I’ve lost my s**t then stormed in the front room got right into that which’s face and screamed “ are you fucking pleased with yourself now you evil B***h” then my husband and I were both arrested and locked up for over 14 hours I had no updates on my children for hours then I found out 4 had gone to my mums and 4 to his mums the next on Monday we were both getting solicitors the social workers either wanted it to go to court or us to sign some form giving them PR so we said we will go to court we have done noting wrong because there’s been no time we went to court rushed so was advised by solicitor to accept the threshold I was able to get three of my babies back but they have put 5 of my babies in interim care placements including my 7 year old autistic son I’m absolutely fuming that they have done this we have done nothing wrong that justifies our family being ripped apart they took my children for the medicals which all came back fine which I knew they would my house had gone down hill slightly and I accepted I needed to declutter and clean which I was doing but then got covid and a bad abscess straight after but still not enough to take my kids they was still up and out for school still fed and clothed fresh bedding on beds good in cupboards etc now they are saying they feel we don’t supervise them properly well I’m sorry but if my 8 kids wasn’t supervised then they would of been in AnE every week they are also saying because my husband had a relapse a few weeks ago which he recognised and got help for from his drug worker we are involved with them because we have a history of drugs before we had kids we haven’t had no illicit drugs in over 9 years my husband had a relapse when he lost his job then again when that which became involved he has said he would give negative test results so now I’m at home with only 3 of my babies my husband has had to move out my other 5 babies are all in foster care and we haven’t actually done anything if they were so concerned then why didn’t they place them on the CPR back in November please please please I’m begging anyone in here I need help I need advice I just want my children and husband back we have gone from being a normal happy family of 10 to being ripped apart in all directions in a week with no justification I can only think it’s because I had the nerve to talk back to that social worker I’m not the only one that has a bad opinion of her either the head of a school said “ I’ve only met her once and I clashed with her she’s vile” and that’s coming from an experienced head of a school I’m so so lost how do I get my babies back please help me.

Edited by Suzie in line with forum rules

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear 8mum

Thank you for your post and welcome to the board

I am sorry to read of the distressing time you have been having recently.

It might be useful for you to speak with your solicitor about the current proceedings and ask them to be very clear with you about the concerns that children’s services have about your children’s welfare. Here are some tips about working with solicitors.

The pages on our website about care proceedings may be helpful and informative to you at this time. It may be helpful for you to get copies of the care plans for your children as well as information about the contact arrangements both for you and your husband (with the children in care) and between the siblings at home and those in care.

You have not mentioned whether your wider family (if applicable) and friends are involved or helping to support you: perhaps a family group conference (FGC) might be helpful, here on our website is where you will find information about these.

Your husband (if he has not done so already) might want to engage with drug prevention services or support groups in your area, the NHS has some useful information on their site here.

If you would like to discuss your situation with one of our advisers, in confidence, do call our service, it is open Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays), 9.30am to 3.00pm on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes

Suzie

[mumof7]

Sorry to hear about your recent issues. Sending sympathy from a fellow large family mum who's kids have been separated.

I can say, its important to maintain a cool head when dealing with SW and with solicitors and anyone appointed by the court. The end goal I am sure is to have all your children home with you. so there may be things that are upsetting that you just have to grin and bear while you go through the process.