Neither Children's Services or the CAMHS unit will talk to me.

[ADR55]

Hi, I am estranged from my with wife and my son lives with his mother. For many years there have been problems with my wife’s relationship with my son. There is no doubt in my mind that she has a personality disorder. She can be physically and emotionally violent. There has been involvement of Childrens Services, the police and the CAMHS unit (my son’s primary school head teacher called them after becoming concerned about his welfare). That was years ago. Since then he has been under the CAMHS unit (for many years). This, I am 100% sure, is due to her behaviour towards him and can be described as a toxic relationship. His mental and physical health has suffered and is now deteriorating. He will soon be 18. Unfortunately, no one will talk to me. Not the police, our family GP , Children’s Services or the CAMHS unit. I am aware that wife has made false allegations against me and this could be part of the problem. I am currently trying (through SAR requests) to access his medical records. Both Children’s Services and the CAHMS unit are refusing my requests. The stated reasons are that they would need his consent (due to being over 12) for me to see his records. This is not an option. If he were to be contacted it would only distress him further and my estranged wife would cause him further emotional harm.

I went through a similar process with my daughter. I suspected she was suicidal and asked for information about her health (from the CAMHS unit). This was refused. She then absconded with a view to committing suicide. My wife (who knew she was suicidal) only told me about this when the police were out looking for her.

I’ve also just found out that my son has been on the “at risk” register. I knew nothing about this. Should I have been told???

I am now stuck.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear ADR55

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear that your son has deteriorating mental and physical health. I am sorry that there has been a delay in responding to your post.

The situation sounds very difficult and you are understandably worried about your son. At almost 18 he is practically legally an adult and is able to make his own decisions about most matters, if he has capacity to do so. It is unclear if the difficulties you are having accessing information about him are because he does not want that information shared with you or because of the allegations that have been made against you, which you state are false. As you have explained, you are feeling quite stuck.

In relation to your Subject Access Request to children’s services and in view of your son’s age, his consent is needed. Exemptions can also apply to information that is provided. There is more information in this advice sheet, 6 a) . This includes the advice below about what to do if you are refused information or it is held back:

First of all, you can ask children’s services to explain in writing why they have refused to provide you with the information.

If you are still not satisfied with the outcome of that, you could write to the Information Commissioner, who may:

•Make an assessment about whether the law has been complied with
•Issue enforcement proceedings to make the local authority comply with your request, if necessary and/or recommend that you apply to court, alleging a failure to comply with the law (the Data Protection Act2018).

You can find the Information Commissioner’s contact details here.

You have become aware that your son was on the ‘at risk’ register. Does your son live in Wales? The term at risk register is used in Wales but not in England. Your son would have had a child protection plan. And parents with parental responsibility would normally be involved/invited to attend the conference unless there was a very good child-focused or safety reason to exclude them. If you want to challenge this situation you would need to make a complaint.

If your son does live in Wales then you may find the Welsh services listed in these useful links helpful. We advise parents and families in England.

If your situation does involve an English children’s services’ department and you have a further query please post again or call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 p.m.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie

[ADR55]

Dear Suzie,

Thanks for you comprehensive reply.

It looks like I'm stuck. I've tried the ICO and they are useless. I can take months for them to reply and even if they get back to you they tell you to take legal action.

Oh well, if just for my own sanity I've done all I can to try and ensure his safety. It seems to me that organisations are hiding behind false assumptions about my rights (or lack of them) to shrug off my concerns. I've now reported the situation to the police. I don't think I can do anything more.

Best wishes,

XXXX