swamped by proceedings

[BROKEN22]

Hi

My family reported me to SS in December 2020 because they refuse to accept I got over a period of six weeks when I was in a hospital in 2012 (10 years ago). I have been through this with them and SS several times all with no issues so this time, being lockdown and a single mum, I refused to cooperate. They sent police around at all hours. I got very tired, eventually I was arrested for refusing to cooperate with a check. I went through that case with hardly any family support, and then one week after it ended they pounced on my car and took my daughter age 5 now 6, the love of my life, my only child. I am a single mum. I teach yoga I am a pacifist. They placed her with the sister who reported me who is neurotic, drinks and smokes and cannot have her own children, and she has since refsued all contact and is faclitiating for her father who has done nothing ever except a few trips to the park. I have done everything, fully organic, only wanted the best. I have not seen her for 7 months but she wanyed to see me at first because I went there and she ran up to me before my sister called the police. I am not sure why my sister is being so extreme, she seems to be very OTT since lockdown and I am a yoga teacher, a classical musician, her youngest sister by 7 years. I don't know what to do, I have tried to continue but am so mortified by the fact that my whole family did this and built a case file full of mostly lies with none of the true facts about who I am as a human that I jhave had no family support going throughthe case and as a result am somehow coming out as the bad parent when I am the only one who has never done anything. I have now fallen out with my solicitor because the LA advised me to change to a local one and it took 6 weeks and then I was accused of not being in touch, when it was not possible because of the handover. I failed the PA mostly through non attendence because I am so upset and find them very condescending and bullying and I am asked to send videos now since 7 months and I don't even like e-comms, I am an organic mum. I wanted to home educate her and they came down on me when I removed her from school when I realised it was not right (September 2020 mid pandemic etc etc, she was only 5). I am a high achiever, lots of qualifications perfectly capable of educating her, my family know this but they are treating me like this and I dn't know why. Her dad has no qualifications, doesn't even have a home, I have tended to her her whole life. The problem is a lot with not having seen her and now cannot even set the solicitor to get my statement in on time (the final statement now 3 weeks late). I am going totally bokers with it as the judge shouted at me previously because of a late statement when I am not the solicitor! I have only just managed fater 7 months to get the final hearing in person, it has all been online and I hate online I am trying to look after myself in that way. I need to get my voice heard, I am a responsible, ethical good human but I have been severely discriminated against and my GP has clearly said he is not worried. It is ridiculous. They have put her in a school and after school clubs, all without asking me, and prioritised this over a fmaily worker who still has not gone in so I can see her but she is seeing her dad every month. I have to get her back but right now I don't even know if I will go to the final hearing because they have used my medical records to prepare a report against me without in person assessment which they were supposed to do. They have totally undermined me because of lockdown difficulties and the family have totally backstabbed me. I need to get her back, what can I do from here.I wanted to change back to the previous solicitor but the new one is ignoring all of my requests and all of my instructinos, I don't know why. Thanks.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear BROKEN22

Welcome to Family Rights Group(FRG)’s parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post . My name is Suzie and I am FRG’s online adviser. I am very sorry to hear of the difficulties that you are experiencing and that you have not seen your daughter for seven months. You describe very well how important she is to you. All of this is understandably very distressing for you.

I can see that you are represented in the court case about your daughter but that you are experiencing difficulties with the solicitor. As you have a final hearing coming up it is important that you are able to work effectively with your solicitor to prepare for this. I understand that you are considering whether or not to attend the final hearing. Please do discuss this with your solicitor and your daughter’s social worker and if you have support from any other services as it is important that you are as fully involved as you can be. I can understand how difficult the online hearings have been but it seems that the final hearing is going to be in-person, in court, which you may find more manageable. These guides on working with a solicitor and working with a social worker may be of some help.

It seems that there have been concerns about your health, your willingness to cooperate with services and that you had a negative parenting assessment – you didn’t attend all the sessions. Your solicitor is best placed to advise you about how to respond to these concerns, what you can do now as well as what is the best outcome you can argue for. I think that the court must have given permission for your contact with your daughter to be stopped temporarily but again this is something your solicitor can clarify and advise on. You can try contacting the senior partner in the solicitor’s firm if you cannot get a response. Tip 3 in our guide to working with a solicitor (link provided above) sets out the steps to take if you are unhappy with how your solicitor is handling your case.

You raise concerns about your sister who is caring for your daughter at the moment. She will have been assessed to care for your daughter and you should have been informed about the outcome of any assessments she has had.

You haven’t stated exactly what court process you are in but I presume it is care proceedings. The following advice pages may be helpful to you:

Care (and related) proceedings,
Children in care under a court order , and
Kinship care: children living with relatives or friends.

You may be interested in Mothers Apart from their Children (MATCH) who may be able to offer information and support to mothers separated from their children.

I hope this will help a little.

If you have a specific query about children’s services please post back or if you prefer to speak to an adviser then you can call our freephone advice helpline on 0808 801 0366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm.

Best wishes

Suzie

[BROKEN22]

Hi Suzie

Thank you for your reply. I will try to catch up more with the solicitor then, I find it so very dry and inhuman in approach. BEcause I have no family behind me it's almost too difficult to do it at times. Anyway I will try again.

I have been completely pushed out of contact with the SW, that's the irony, because at first I did not want to work with them, now they refuse to work with me, they say everything has to go via the solicitor but she seems to be ignoring my questions and only passing on theirs. I feel like she works for the LA it's really strange. I will try again. I am having a bit more success with the guardian now, a little.

I have no idea how to get my views across and no the court have not passed an order against contact, it's just they have increasingly pushed it aside in favour of school after school clubs, large family meet ups that exclude me and then a flu and tetanus jab, plus court orders against me and threats of arrest - all of these have taken up the court time instead of discussing a fmaily worker and contact, even thought the guardian has continuously also said how important this is. I made a choice to consciously abstain from one hearing in january because of this, and was subsequently given a threat of arrest.

When the judge said 'why did she miss the hearing, why did she do it for that reason?', my barrister meekly said 'well I think sir for her it is a priority'. Isn't it the law that it should have happened at the beginning? I am completely stuck as to how to continue with their third hand discussions when this is still being ignored and really I know she wanted to see me but she's under negative influences. I told the SW she was seeing poor modelling and she just ignored me (repeatedly). Thanks.