Special Guardianship and Re-establishing contact

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Sorrymother
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2022 11:16 am

Special Guardianship and Re-establishing contact

Post by Sorrymother » Wed Feb 16, 2022 8:47 am

Hello All,
I am going to start with the negatives of my situation. My 4 children where removed from my care 3 years ago, due to alcohol, and drug abuse, and also choosing to stay with an abusive partner. I will name the children A,B C and D. I smoked crack cocaine and drank heavily whilst pregnant with children C and D and child D was immediately removed from my care after birth and the other children were already placed with my sister at the time of me giving birth. I continued down my pathway of self destruction staying with the father of child C and D. Children A and B where placed in the care of my older sister child C with my partner at the times mother and child D with my brother and sister in law. Child C and Ds appointed carers have SG orders, and A and B have child arrangement orders. I continued taking drugs with the father of C and D and eventually his violence reached a head and he broke my cheek and was put in prison, relationship over. I continued on with my ridiculous behaviour.
In March 2021 I decided to get sober with the help of CGL and some other members of my family, and I have been sober since. I have moved towns, gained and sustained full time employment and I have re-established contact with children A and B, having seen them supervised, and I will be finally seeing them unsupervised on my birthday in March. I completed drugs testing to prove my sobriety and have remained consistent with my behaviours and everything that I have said that I would do, to promote trust. I am struggling re-establishing contact with children C and D. The lady looking after child C is my ex partners mother and her attitude towards myself is up and down. Her children were removed from her care years ago, in the late 80s and i thought out of everyone that she would understand the most. She won't allow me to have photos or anything. I attempted mediation, and she refused. She is also influencing my brother not to allow me to see child D. I have submitted the c100 to court in the hope of getting a new child arrangements order. Do you think that the courts will allow me to have contact with my children. Is there anything else that I can do. Should I contact the social services too?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4210
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Special Guardianship and Re-establishing contact

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Tue Feb 22, 2022 5:46 pm

Dear Sorrymother

Welcome to the discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I will be responding to you today.

At Family Rights Group we support families where Children’s Services are involved in their lives (or where families are trying to get some support from them). We do not give advice on private law matters (your application is a private law matter) because we are not funded to do so. However, I can signpost you to some organisation that may be helpful to you.

It is always advisable to seek legal advice however this may not be possible given the costs involved. If you are acting as a litigant in person you may find the information HERE helpful. This is from an organisation called Child Law Advice. They have lots of information and guidance on private law proceedings and making an application for a Child Arrangements Order . Also the court process and terminology which you may find helpful. They also have a facility that offers reduced fees for legal advice. HERE is the link.

From the information you have provided making a C100 application seems the most appropriate path to take. You say you have sought mediation for child C and this was not successful. Have you tried medication with your brother? I have added a link HERE to the Mediation Council. This has a facility to search for a mediation services in your local to your area.

You ask whether there is anything else you can do and whether you should contact Social Services (now referred to as Children’s Services). It is unlikely Children’s Services would offer you any support at this point. As stated above you are seeking a Child Arrangement Order under private law proceedings therefore there is no remit for their involvement unless this is directed by the court. CAFCASS will be involved and I have added a link to their organisation which you may find useful. It will inform you of their process and next steps in respect of your application.

In respect of what else you can do. I would suggest you continue to engage with CGL and seek support from a domestic abuse organisation if you are not already doing so. There are courses such as the Freedom Project which examines the roles played by attitudes and beliefs on the actions of abusive men and the responses of victims and survivors. The aim is to help them to make sense of and understand what has happened to them. The Freedom Programme also describes in detail how children are affected by being exposed to this kind of abuse and very importantly how their lives are improved when the abuse is removed.

Lastly, I would like to acknowledge the progress you have made so far. You are achieving and maintaining your goals of sobriety and of ending an abusive relationship. You have worked hard on both counts, and I wish you all the best with your continued focus and determination to make the changes you want to see.

Best wishes, Suzie

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