Paternal siblings and lost contact

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Mommabear
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2022 11:21 pm

Paternal siblings and lost contact

Post by Mommabear » Mon Feb 14, 2022 9:55 pm

Hi all, I am new to the group so if I am posting in the wrong place I apologise.
A bit of background, my children's father had 2 other children with whom my children had a relationship with up until they were taken into care, they were allowed supervised contact right up until it was decided that the 2 children would never be returned to their parents, the youngest (2 years) was adopted and the eldest (3.5 years) was subject to a long term placement with her foster carer, due to attachment issues was deemed unadoptable, this was back in 2009.
They were origianlly allowed postbox contact through their father however he stopped contact after the first year, meaning my children also lost contact. My children are now 19 and 21 and as their paternal sister will be turning 16 this year have started asking about potential contact. They are aware they won't be able to contact their paternal brother as he was adopted and would only be around 14.
So my question is how do I support them with this? Would it be a case of contacting the social services department who dealt with the case?
What is the likely hood they will be given permission to make contact? Would their sister be asked if she wanted contact at this age or would the decision lie solely with social services?
Sorry for the long post and thank you for any advice in advance 😊

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4230
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Paternal siblings and lost contact

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Tue Feb 22, 2022 5:17 pm

Hi Mommabear

Welcome to the discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I will be responding to you today.

In summary, your children, who are now adults, would like to reconnect with their two half siblings whom they have not seen for several years. The siblings are your partner’s two children. One was adopted at two years old and the other was placed in long term foster care at 3 years old. Initial letterbox contact was arranged through the children’s father, but this stopped after one year. You would like to support your children to reconnect with their siblings but are unsure of how to go about this.

In the first instance I suggest your children go back to the local authority where the children were removed to inform them of their wish to reconnect with their siblings. I would recommend this request in put in writing to the fostering and adoption team and that you ask for a response in writing. This will ensure a paper trail of correspondence is created which will be important for any future communications and for the children should they wish to request their files when they are older.

In respect of the child who remains in foster care, children’s services would need to assess whether it is in the child’s best interested to reintroduce your children to them and to consider what this might look like i.e. direct or indirect contact. The child’s wishes and feelings will be taken into consideration with due regard to their age and understanding. They should be asked whether they wish to make contact if it is deemed safe to do so. You may find the information HERE helpful. It discusses children’s services duties and obligations to looked after children regarding contact with family members. It may also be helpful for your children to ask for the local authority’s policy on contact for their own reference. I have also added a link HERE to information regarding the independent reviewing officers role for looked after children (often referred to as an IRO). They have oversight of a child’s care plan and have a duty to ensure it is meeting their needs and best interest and this includes contact arrangements.

You may also find this link HERE helpful. It discusses Lifelong Links which aims to ensure a child in care has a positive support network around them to help them during their time in care and in adulthood. Not all local authorities commission this service therefore your children would need check this out with the local authority concerned.

In respect of the adopted child. As stated above, I would suggest your children go back to the local authority to inform them of their wish to reconnect with their sibling. The local authority should have a person responsible for post adoption support who can provide further guidance and advice. It may be that the child remains adopted or is back in the care of the local authority. Whilst, due to data protection, the local authority will not share this information with your children, it will be important for children's services to know there are potentially people wanting to make contact with the child. As with the other child, if this child is now looked after children’s services will need to assess whether it is in the their best interest to restart contact and their wishes and feeling should be sought If the child remains with their adoptive parents, the decision will be with them.

Your children may also find this link HERE helpful. It provides further information and guidance on how they can add themselves to the Adoption Contact Register. You can add yourself to the Adoption Contact Register at the General Register Office to find a birth relative or an adopted person or to say you do not want to be contacted. It is not a tracing service - for a connection to be made between people, both must both be on the Adoption Contact Register and over 18 years.

I cannot comment on the likelihood of your children being given permission to contact the children because I do not know all the circumstances and, of course, we do not know what the children’s situations are now and whether it is in their best interest to restart contact with your children.

I hope you find this information useful.  Should you wish to speak to an adviser please call our free advice line: 0808 801 0366 (Mon to Fri 9.30a.m. – 3.00p.m excluding bank holidays. Of course, you can also post again on the discussion board.

Best wishes, Suzie

Mommabear
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2022 11:21 pm

Re: Paternal siblings and lost contact

Post by Mommabear » Thu Feb 24, 2022 6:30 pm

Thank you for your response, this is all extremely helpful.

The only part you understood incorrectly was that the siblings are my partners children. The siblings share the same father as my children who is not my current partner and is no longer for in my children's lives except for maybe a text every few months.
We will certainly follow your advice and put something in writing to the authorities who dealt with the removal of the children and see where we go from there.
Again thank you for the in depth advice.

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