PLO meeting out of the blue! please help!

[lb93]

I really don’t know who to turn to im desperate for help last year in beginning of may 2021 i entered a relationship with my best friend of 7 years, however he served 3 years in prison (got out [date]) for sexual activity with 2 teenagers (14&15) same night, and is on the sex offenders register for 10 years, his risk level is “high” his restrictions are he can’t live with anyone under the age of 16 and also not aloud to have contact with anyone under the age of 16 unless approved by local authorities (supervised contact) and i met his probation officer straight away and of course i knew she would need to involve social services, they didn’t visit me until 3 months later however i knew i wasn’t aloud contact between my daughter (who’s 4 years old) and himself, after they visited me obviously they were questioning why i would want to be in a relationship with him etc, i signed an agreement to say i wouldn’t allow contact direct or indirect unless local authorities approved supervised contact, i even went out of my way to install cctv cameras front and back of my house to prove i wasn’t allowing him in my property or near my property he don’t even live in the same county borough as me he lives fairly far away so it’s not like he can simply come over anyway, even when i don’t have my daughter weekends he’s never been to my house, we only see eachother weekends and i stay at his house which he still lives with his parents, i have done everything social have asked me to do, i did a risk assessment with lucy faithful foundation and passed and they agreed i had the ability to protect but they wanted me to do a workshop with them just to give me more knowledge of course i agreed with this and was meant to be starting [date], however on the [date] i had my conference meeting for a review my report was good from all professionals and risk assessment they agreed i’m a good mum and my daughter is loved very much by myself, there was no concerns what so ever, the only concern was that i wanted to continue this relationship out of no where on [date] i had a call from my social worker to say they are pulling in a PLO meeting on [date] and need to get a solicitor i asked what about the workshop i was meant to be doing and she said i dont know now make sure you get yourself a solicitor because you will either be ending your relationship or losing your daughter, so this came out of the blue as she’s never mentioned a PLO meeting before, and now i’m frightened of losing custody of my daughter, i just don’t understand what i’m doing wrong when i have done everything they have asked and i have passed assessments, they have never met him, gave him even a chance to prove himself or anything! solicitors and other professionals i have dealt with has agreed with me they don’t see the problem with me having a weekend relationship where there’s no involvement or that he’s a risk to my daughter at her age but should be looked into more when she is the ages of the girls (i happily agreed to be re assessed when she was of age and he agreed to) some agreed it was so unfair they have made it all one sided and not giving him any chances to do anything but he had a really good report back from probation too and is due to have a review [date], social said they wouldn’t even consider contact until his risk levels came down anyway which we both agreed is sensible anyway, but i am so confused and so scared of looking up about this PLO meeting, we had agreements and CPP in place as well, he was sent to a rehabilitation prison and passed assessments etc when he was inside, so why isn’t he being treated fairly by social on the outside and not giving him a chance to prove himself? anyone been in a similar situation? thanks in advance

Edited by Suzie to maintain confidentiality

[Need help 2021]

Hi I can understand how you are feeling I am in a similar situation my self the reason why there are doing all things is because they want you to leave you partner and if you don’t they say you are not being a protective factor and they they say why would you want to be with someone like this for when you know he can be a risk .

[lb93]

thanks for replying what have you had to do? and i understand that but what i don’t get that other professionals have admitted he’s not a risk, social are the only ones, i haven’t said im looking for contact now, i told them some point in the future, iv not given an extact time or date, i have said im happy to do it their way weather it’s contact centre first, or whatever they suggest i have tried my hardest to work with them, i just hate how long they have let this go on for and everything they have made me do for nothing really

[Need help 2021]

So basically in my case my husband has been done for indecent images on a what’s app group which he didn’t such it was found on his Fone as he sent to his friend this happened in 2018 I gave birth to our son in 2019 and police and in [date]to arrest my husband then he was on bail he will be sentenced this week . Socail service got involved in 2019 then close the case in Jan 2019 and then in [date] he was charged for possession of indecent image and the socail open the case again and they asked me if I think my son was at risk and I said no then they said to be as I have left my husband it will be taken to court section 47 and I was asked to tell my husband to leave but he didn’t have any we’re he can stay so then they paid for 2 months for his hotel then after wards they said to me he can move back to the house and they will put me and mother and baby unit so then I tould them I will move out and stay with my family because I haven’t left him my case is in court now and my son is under child protection and also they have done assessment on my parents for guardianship and a friend so when the judge decide the risk after Lucy faithfull and says he is a risk and I say I will not choose my son they will give my son to my parents and I will have to leave the house and see my son in the contact centre and I lose my rights . So what ever you do you have to be careful because you can lose your son . If you don’t mind be asking what did you partner actually do .

Edited by Suzie to maintain confidentiality

[lb93]

oh gosh i’m so sorry you have had to go all that sounds like a lot to take on i really hope things work out for you, it’s good to see your family are so supportive! and he had sexual activity with 2 underage girls ages 14&15 ... so he ended up having 3 years prison & 10 years on the register, i am being very careful obviously if they tell me i have to end things or i lose my daughter i’m going to choose her, but it will be hard as iv been a part of his life and his family for 7 years, only last year we chose to move our friendship to relationship it was unexpected, lucy faithful even said he comes across as low risk but unfortunately he’s down as high risk,

Edited by Suzie to maintain confidentiality

[Need help 2021]

So far the plan is to wait for the Lucy faithfull assessment to be done abs his sentence which the probation officer said community service and 5 years on the register but I have asked someone they said when the child is 16 then We can get back together because the the child will be old enough.at the moment he sees his dad every week in a contact centre which is paid for till the court final hearing .

[Need help 2021]

He has had his assessment with Lucyfaith full and they said low so who is saying he is on high risk and yes it’s very sad my son is going to be 3 in March and I only married him 3 years ago it’s just soo sad but believe me when they say they will take you child they will .

[lb93]

really hope it all comes back positive for you! only i was asked to do an assessment they haven’t bothered to offer him anything which is why most professionals im dealing with have said social are not making it fair for him to prove he’s not a monster like social are making him out to be, how old is your child if you don’t mind me asking? i hope it all goes well for you and your family

[lb93]

sorry only just seen your other comment that’s a long wait, my daughter is only 4 so if they said to wait till she’s 16 i’d be in the same boat as you! and no i know they would, they haven’t threatened once with taking her away or anything, just this PLO meeting now i got next week they say said the outcome could be end the relationship or take to court to lose her

[Need help 2021]

My son is going to be 3 in March . So who is saying your other half is on high risk . My husband probation officer said he is a medium risk because he still would have been on that what’s app group of it wasn’t for the police to turn up .