PLO meeting out of the blue! please help!

[Need help 2021]

Hi I have private message you let me know if you have received it .

[lb93]

no i haven’t received anything i messaged you as well

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

I really don’t know who to turn to im desperate for help last year in beginning of may 2021 i entered a relationship with my best friend of 7 years, however he served 3 years in prison (got out [date]) for sexual activity with 2 teenagers (14&15) same night, and is on the sex offenders register for 10 years, his risk level is “high” his restrictions are he can’t live with anyone under the age of 16 and also not aloud to have contact with anyone under the age of 16 unless approved by local authorities (supervised contact) and i met his probation officer straight away and of course i knew she would need to involve social services, they didn’t visit me until 3 months later however i knew i wasn’t aloud contact between my daughter (who’s 4 years old) and himself, after they visited me obviously they were questioning why i would want to be in a relationship with him etc, i signed an agreement to say i wouldn’t allow contact direct or indirect unless local authorities approved supervised contact, i even went out of my way to install cctv cameras front and back of my house to prove i wasn’t allowing him in my property or near my property he don’t even live in the same county borough as me he lives fairly far away so it’s not like he can simply come over anyway, even when i don’t have my daughter weekends he’s never been to my house, we only see eachother weekends and i stay at his house which he still lives with his parents, i have done everything social have asked me to do, i did a risk assessment with lucy faithful foundation and passed and they agreed i had the ability to protect but they wanted me to do a workshop with them just to give me more knowledge of course i agreed with this and was meant to be starting [date], however on the [date] i had my conference meeting for a review my report was good from all professionals and risk assessment they agreed i’m a good mum and my daughter is loved very much by myself, there was no concerns what so ever, the only concern was that i wanted to continue this relationship out of no where on [date] i had a call from my social worker to say they are pulling in a PLO meeting on [date] and need to get a solicitor i asked what about the workshop i was meant to be doing and she said i dont know now make sure you get yourself a solicitor because you will either be ending your relationship or losing your daughter, so this came out of the blue as she’s never mentioned a PLO meeting before, and now i’m frightened of losing custody of my daughter, i just don’t understand what i’m doing wrong when i have done everything they have asked and i have passed assessments, they have never met him, gave him even a chance to prove himself or anything! solicitors and other professionals i have dealt with has agreed with me they don’t see the problem with me having a weekend relationship where there’s no involvement or that he’s a risk to my daughter at her age but should be looked into more when she is the ages of the girls (i happily agreed to be re assessed when she was of age and he agreed to) some agreed it was so unfair they have made it all one sided and not giving him any chances to do anything but he had a really good report back from probation too and is due to have a review [date], social said they wouldn’t even consider contact until his risk levels came down anyway which we both agreed is sensible anyway, but i am so confused and so scared of looking up about this PLO meeting, we had agreements and CPP in place as well, he was sent to a rehabilitation prison and passed assessments etc when he was inside, so why isn’t he being treated fairly by social on the outside and not giving him a chance to prove himself? anyone been in a similar situation? thanks in advance

Edited by Suzie to maintain confidentiality

Dear lb93,

Welcome to the parents’ forum and thankyou for your post. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you have been experiencing. I can see that you have had some advice from Need Help 2021 who is in a similar situation to you, but I hope that the following advice will also be helpful to you.

You say that your partner has been placed on the sex offenders register for 10 years. He has restrictions placed on him which include no contact with anyone under the age of 16 unless approved by the local authority. You began a relationship with him in May 2021 and 3 months later children’s services became involved as you have a four year old daughter. She is subject to a child protection plan, however you have recently been told by the social worker that a PLO meeting has been arranged.

Have you received a letter before proceedings yet? This is the letter that children’s services must send to a parent to start a pre-proceedings process. You don’t say if your daughter’s father has parental responsibility but if he does then this letter should also be sent to him. There are five things that the letter should have in it:

- Information about getting legal advice
- The concerns children’s services have and changes they would like the parents to make
- The plans for a pre-proceedings meeting
- Details of any proposed assessments and support
- Information about involving wider family and friends

It is important that you do seek some legal advice as soon as possible and ask the solicitor to come with you to the meeting. You can find information on our website here about how you can find a solicitor and what their role should be in this process. I would also suggest that you speak with your wider family and friends to see what support they can offer to help address the concerns, and if any of them can help care for your daughter in the short (or long term) if this becomes necessary. It might be helpful to take a look at our website here to become more familiar with what might happen if children’s services do decide to make an application to the family court to begin care proceedings.

Has the social worker discussed arranging a family group conference? This is a planning meeting led by the family and friends, and is arranged by an independent person. If you have not had a family group conference then I would suggest that you ask the social worker or their manager to arrange this as soon as possible.

From what you say it is clear that you have been working in partnership with children’s services and have been open and honest with them about your relationship. You want to safeguard your daughter and have been proactive in putting some things in place to reduce the risk to your daughter. However it is clear that children’s services do have serious concerns about the risk to your daughter and it is for that reason that she is on a child protection plan and they are holding a PLO meeting. You might find it helpful to have a look at our website here for more information about why children’s services become involved when there are concerns about the risk of sexual abuse. One of their main concerns may be that although your relationship is currently a ‘weekend relationship’, as time goes on the relationship is likely to develop (for example you may wish to live with your partner at some point) and children’s services will need to consider this in their analysis of the potential risk posed. In this analysis children’s services will be focussed on your ability to protect your daughter in the long term as you have parental responsibility for her and are her main carer.

You have already worked with the Lucy Faithfull Foundation and they felt that you had a good understanding of how to protect your daughter but suggested that you complete a further workshop with them. I would suggest that you do attend this workshop despite the PLO meeting being planned, as attending the workshop may be helpful to you. The Stop It Now! and Parents Protect websites also have helpful information. The Women as Protectors course may also be of interest to you.

I hope that the above is helpful to you. Please do post back again if you have any further queries, or you can call our free advice line on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) to speak with an adviser.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[Worriedmum1591]

Any updates will be amazing for me also, my partner has just been convicted of having indecent images on his phone, he said he was in porn sites and he clicked and clicked and went to far and clicked on a link and an indecent image popped up and then he clicked it off and didn't think anything of it, in he got arrested and they found 7 images on his phone, when he went to court these images were said by his solicitor to be in the belly of his phone and would be hard to access by someone who doesn't know phones or computers. Anyway zentencing he got 2 years suspended fine rehab and 10 years on the register. We aren't together at the minute because of social services and the violence and harrasment were both receiving. However we do regularly talk an social services are now not wanting us to even talk...I have no family support other than him and his mum. My son who isn't his biologically absolutely adores him and misses him so much!! I feel like my heads going to explode with stress

[Need help 2021]

Hi worried mum I saw your post as well you must have social service involved if I am right Wht have they said about you partner what is his risk and they should do assessment to see how much of a risk he is .

[lb93]

Any updates will be amazing for me also, my partner has just been convicted of having indecent images on his phone, he said he was in porn sites and he clicked and clicked and went to far and clicked on a link and an indecent image popped up and then he clicked it off and didn't think anything of it, in he got arrested and they found 7 images on his phone, when he went to court these images were said by his solicitor to be in the belly of his phone and would be hard to access by someone who doesn't know phones or computers. Anyway zentencing he got 2 years suspended fine rehab and 10 years on the register. We aren't together at the minute because of social services and the violence and harrasment were both receiving. However we do regularly talk an social services are now not wanting us to even talk...I have no family support other than him and his mum. My son who isn't his biologically absolutely adores him and misses him so much!! I feel like my heads going to explode with stress

it’s going to be tough trust me, social have just told me i have to block all contact with him and his family and separate from him or i lose my daughter, they are still filing guardianship because they think il go back to him at some point and i’m doing everything i can to prove myself i’m not going to, my daughter never had contact with my now ex partner ever, it’s awful to say but if he’s out as high risk level i’d be prepared to do the same as i have had to do and it’s not been easy iv not been myself in days and my POL meeting is next week, it’s tough it really is,