Child Services Failure to investigate emotional abuse

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PonderPuss
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Jan 08, 2022 2:28 am

Child Services Failure to investigate emotional abuse

Post by PonderPuss » Thu Jan 27, 2022 3:01 pm

Hi, my children have been on a CPP since last year, due to what's referred to as the parents toxic relationship. One of my children estranged himself from his father in 2021 because he experiences emotional abuse when in his dad's care, as he fits the description of the scapegoated child. The other child is in the role of golden child, and is indulged by his dad at our other son's expense, in my other son's opinion, and I concur. Dad routinely verbally abuses me in our kids presence, and there are recorded incidents of DV in the past. Since one child refused to see Dad, Dad has extracted the other child from my primary residence. Dad rejects the idea that he's at fault in anyway, and has blamed me and said to all that I'm responsible for his child's estrangement, that it's something that I want. The social worker assigned to our kids appears to buy into Dad's narrative and smear campaign, and discounts my concerns out of hand. Instead, I'm receiving pressure to minimize my child's distress and not indulge him. It's only recent that the kids are comfortable enough with SW to relay their honest concerns, but that the kids are finally forthcoming has been construed as the kids are parroting my story, which is incorrect. I am careful to stay neutral, and just try to support my kids when they are upset. My kids both have said to me that they don't think SW gets it, and would be happy to have another assigned. I have mentioned this perceived bias to the social worker and we are due to meet tomorrow to discuss my issues. I am writing a complaint letter to gather my thoughts and I'm wondering how best to proceed. Should I postpone the meeting and instead send my complaint to the social worker and his supervisor, as has been suggested to me in the past by the social worker when I have disagreed with them? Has anyone been in a similar situation and what was the outcome? Also, I have been trying to find the email address for sending information to an FRG advisor but can't seem to find the email address. Any advice appreciated, as I'm wary of being labeled the troublemaker in all this and shooting myself in the foot.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4207
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Child Services Failure to investigate emotional abuse

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Feb 02, 2022 11:56 am

Dear PonderPuss

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. I see from your post that you are experiencing difficulties dealing with children’s services. I am sorry that you did not receive a response to your post sooner and you may already have had the meeting you mentioned in your post. I hope that this went well.

Turning now to your post, you state that children’s services became involved because of ‘the toxic relationship’ between yourself and your children’s father. Your children are on a child protection plan. Children’s services will be concerned about the children’s emotional wellbeing if they are exposed to the abuse in their parents’ relationship.

You say that one of your children has been ‘extracted’ from your care by his father. Is there a court order for this child to live with the father? The children being treated in the way you have described could be extremely very damaging for both as this will impact negatively on how they are able to manage relationships as they get older. The ages of your children is not mentioned in your post.

From what you describe about the children’s relationship with their father, it appears that the family relationships have become set for both and needs work to improve it especially for the children’s wellbeing. Have children’s services suggested any courses that might assist you all? What support is being offered to the children under the child protection plan?

In your post you state that you are being pressured to minimise your child’s distress. It may be that the social worker is trying to help repair the broken relationship between the child and the father and seeking your support to do so. The social worker should take account of the children’s views, but a lot will depend on their ages since adults have to make decisions on children’s behalf sometimes as they are too young to make them.

If you and your children’s father are not able to work with the child protection plan and children’s services to ensure the children’s emotional health is protected, then they could decide that to safeguard the children they need to take further action. This could mean court proceedings to ensure they can take responsibility for safeguarding the children. Please read the information about child protection here .

It is important for you both to try and put the children’s needs before your own.

I understand that there is probably a lot of hurt for you from the abusive relationship and it maybe helpful for you to have some support. I suggest you contact Rights of Women on 0207 251 6577. You may also benefit from having speak with independent domestic violence advocacy service (IDVA) on 01274 667104

You can read information here about making a formal complaint.

If you wish to speak to an adviser at Family Rights Group, it is best to telephone the free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30 to 3pm. Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays).

I hope you will find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

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