What dose a vary of an sgo actually mean?

[LVCR66]

My mum has sgo of my children. I lost my kids due to DV and because of my drinking...i started drinking heavily once my kids had gone tho i did drink on occasion when they did live with me. Id been in a dv relashionship with there dad for many years and dispite everyones warning i didnt listen.. after i lost my kids i ended contact with there dad back at the end of 2017 however i startes drinking excessively. Once sgo was granted i was seeing my kids at least once a week and unsupervised. I was still drinking tho never when i had them or never did i even turn up with a hangover. Over time me and my mother fell out (not related to my children) every tine we fell out she would chamge my contact to supervised, then unsupervised, then once every two weeks, and then shed turn up at my work with then to see me, to then once a month supervised because id turned up to my kids party at the time she had given but she assumed id come early to help set up eveb tho that was never mentioned and i would of done had she have asked. It stayed to once a month supervised from 2019 to now however last year i moved out of the area and i was allowed to see them for a weekend once a month she then said it would be unsupervised. We then fellout again because she had fallen out with my sister and i choose to not get involved( i have all the messages as evidence for the court) i was alpowed to ring my girls when ever i wanted but that stoppes after id spoken to ny kids school after one of my kids had said she wished she was dead! The 1st tine she said this i told my mum and she did nothing and told no1 so once my child said it again in front of my mum and again my mum brushes it off i choose to call the school to seek help and advice for my then 7 year old child! The school told my mum so she then stopped phone calls! Again i have proof all this. When anyone asks my mum why contact is supervised and once a month she will say this is because of my drinking (again i never turnes up with alchole in my system never!) However i actually had more contact when i did drink and unsupervised then i do now. I stopped drinking completely on the 2nd of may 2020 and still to this day i wont even eat a cake if it has alcohol in it. she allowed me to have unsupervised contact in her house only in july 2020 and then in aug she fell out with my sister and this is when its got changed to 1 day a month supervised. Can i get an sgo "vary" to change contact? And so she can not use my kids as a way to get to me if shes in a bad mood with me? What dose a vary actually mean. I want to get my kids back completely however i moved away (161 miles) and i dont think a judge will say yes as my alchole only stopped last year. I have stayed awag from there dad since 2017. Im a manager at my job that ive had for 15months, ive made changes but feel a judge will say it has not been long enough and because i moved away. I plan to move back closer to them next year as i should have progressed within my job and then can support my kids and work around them which is what my plan has always been. Please can someone give me some advice and answers to the "vary" part of an sgo and what it actually means.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear LVCR66

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.

My name is Suzie, online adviser, at Family Rights Group. You have set out in your post the difficulties you have been experiencing in respect of contact with your children. The children are currently living with their grandmother, your mother, under a special guardianship order.

You state that you had difficulties with misusing alcohol and this, in part, was due to your children being out of your care. The other issue related to the nature of your relationship with your children’s father and domestic violence in that relationship. The relationship ended some time ago and you now feel in a much better place having addressed your drinking and made other changes in your life.

The main problem for you is the way contact is managed and the fact that the level of your contact is determined by the mood of the special guardian. You are unhappy about this as you wish to regular good, unsupervised contact with your children. The special guardian you state will often use contact as a means of control what you are able to do or discuss about your children. Your question is about how a special guardianship order can be varied and what this would mean.

To explain, once a special guardianship order has been made, the order will remain in force until the children reach the age of 18 unless it is discharged before that time. There is no mechanism for varying a special guardianship order. Please read information from our website here here about what special guardianship means for birth parents. It is possible for a parent to apply to the court for permission to discharge a special guardianship order but as you have rightly stated in your post the court will look at all the circumstances, what has changed for the parent and, more importantly, whether it would be in the child or children’s interest for the order to be discharged.

In respect of contact, if there is an order for you to have contact with your children, you can apply to the court to vary that order. If there is an order and the special guardian is not following the order, you can apply to the court to enforce the order. If there is no order, then you can apply to the court for a child arrangement order for contact. In this way, the court will be able to specify the contact you have and the frequency of that contact. If you decide to apply to the court for an order in respect of contact with your children, you may find information here from Child Law Advice helpful. Also, information from this website might be useful.

To vary an order is asking the court to make changes to an order that is already in force so, for example, in your case, maybe to change supervised contact to unsupervised or the amount of contact can be changed as well.

It is also possible to seek legal advice from a solicitor and you may be able to identify a solicitor in your area using this link

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie