Help for my children

Post Reply
Endofmyteather2006
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Nov 28, 2021 6:31 am

Help for my children

Post by Endofmyteather2006 » Tue Nov 30, 2021 11:16 am

for some time now I have concerns and suspicions that my childrens father and his family have not been a safe environment for my children to be in but have had no actual proof of this just recently I have found videos on my sons I pad of him with an air rifle which he says his grandad (dads father) provided him with after speaking in depth with him about it my son ‘ran away’ to grandads, they had also given him a phone behind my back (which they have now accused my husband of stealing) I have involved the police and social service who are basically telling me he’s 15 and do as he likes because he appears safe and well when they have visited I have also found a message where my son and his dad seem to be discussing drugs (talking about grams and how much money etc) again I’ve given this information to the police early help officer who has said ‘she will look into what they do’ my sons dad is not up for talking and when I have tried comes bk with things like “have you realised you’ve lost XXXX (my son)” “I have to work away to feed you and XXXX” (my husband) so just argumentative really, my son is still with his grandparents as no one with authority can make him leave… I understand hes 15 (he will be 16 in march) so there probably isn’t a lot I can do really I’m guessing because that’s what everyone else is telling me but I also have an 11 year old daughter with him too and social services are telling me it’s my job to safeguard her and with all my concerns I shouldn’t be letting her go she hasn’t been since this has started (once became the social worker was coming and wanted to speak to her and once because she actually tested positive) I would like some advice on how I protect her from being pulled into this neither their dad or their grandparents seem to think there’s anything wrong with exposing them to and encouraging this sort of behaviour, also when my son left to go to his grandparents that evening my daughter opened up to my husband and told him that my son had been telling her to say she hated my husband other wise she didn’t love her dad or her grandparents and he was making her keep a look out while he went through my bag to look for money and keys etc so he was being quite manipulative towards her too I’m at a loss as to what to do because I know she’s needs a relationship with her dad and grandparents but it needs to be a healthy relationship that’s not going to affect her future like it is going to do with my son

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4210
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Help for my children

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Dec 03, 2021 3:47 pm

Dear Endofmyteather

Thank you for your post and welcome to the board.

From what I read you are worried about your daughter’s safety when she is with her paternal relations. May I suggest that you try to make an informal arrangement regarding contact (if it is safe). The charity Gingerbread has some information about how to do this. For a more formal arrangement you may want to have a look at Advice Now.

For help and advice with teenagers and sibling relationships perhaps Family Lives may be able to help.

I hope these signposts help.

Best wishes

Suzie

Post Reply

Who is online

In total there is 1 user online :: 0 registered, 0 hidden and 1 guest (based on users active over the past 5 minutes)
Most users ever online was 318 on Fri May 28, 2021 9:04 pm