What would you do?
Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2021 1:13 pm
Hi all,
I want to make this as short as possible. My son is currently living with his dad, there was a supervision order made in April 2015. During the court assessments, there were certain things that his father needed to do at his house, this included redecorating and carpeting etc. Home conditions at that point were considered poor yet under the supervision order were supposed to be improved.
Fast forward to now, I have video contact with my son twice a week, my son's older sibling who lives with me also takes part. Over the last year we have glimpsed parts of the house, most recently yesterday morning, my son showed me his room which I can only describe as horrendous. Clothes,discareded litter, and food all over the floor there was no walking room at all. I was appalled at the state of the room in which my ten-year-old is living, we started the video call at 8 am yesterday, it abruptly ended at 10:30 am when his father got out of bed, my son rarely calls me outside our designated times but yesterday he said he was lonely and had been up on his own since 5 am.
On other occasions, we have seen the front room, in poor condition with rubbish everywhere, and a coffee table that looked like it hadn't seen a clean cloth in months. My son entered the kitchen on one video call even though he wasn't supposed to go in there while on call, the sides were grubby with more litter laying about.
Twice my son has reported that he's had to have his bed sprayed due to bed bugs.
My son is massively overweight, he eats a lot of food during the day, large adult size portions of food most of which are takeaways. He has sent me photos of his dinners in the past. He gets bullied in school regularly due to his size.
We used to have face-to-face contact before Covid. These contacts would have his father watching and listening over us and any time my son started to mention anything regarding his home or his normal day-to-day routine his father would interrupt, quickly changing the subject.
There is so much more I can add but want to keep this short.
I have raised concerns with my son's school but they don't seem overly worried despite my son regularly coming in unkept, untidy, etc. I raised concerns as my son spent a period of time having showers at school due to father not getting the boiler fixed at the house for some time.
I have tried contacting the local authority, but again it seems no one is too interested. My son is obviously known to the authorities due to previous involvement. There have been numerous reports on the condition of the house during the assessments which claim it to be unclean and unhygenic.
I'm wondering where I should go from here? If anyone could advise. Part of me wants to rush down there bash on the door and retrieve my son as clearly no one else appears to be interested. I'm concerned about my son's well-being not just physically but mentally. With children's services own guidelines not meeting a child's basic care needs is neglect.
*My son does not live with me due to me being involved in a previous toxic relationship, he was removed along with his older sibling. I was given my older son back, once I had made changes and got help*
I want to make this as short as possible. My son is currently living with his dad, there was a supervision order made in April 2015. During the court assessments, there were certain things that his father needed to do at his house, this included redecorating and carpeting etc. Home conditions at that point were considered poor yet under the supervision order were supposed to be improved.
Fast forward to now, I have video contact with my son twice a week, my son's older sibling who lives with me also takes part. Over the last year we have glimpsed parts of the house, most recently yesterday morning, my son showed me his room which I can only describe as horrendous. Clothes,discareded litter, and food all over the floor there was no walking room at all. I was appalled at the state of the room in which my ten-year-old is living, we started the video call at 8 am yesterday, it abruptly ended at 10:30 am when his father got out of bed, my son rarely calls me outside our designated times but yesterday he said he was lonely and had been up on his own since 5 am.
On other occasions, we have seen the front room, in poor condition with rubbish everywhere, and a coffee table that looked like it hadn't seen a clean cloth in months. My son entered the kitchen on one video call even though he wasn't supposed to go in there while on call, the sides were grubby with more litter laying about.
Twice my son has reported that he's had to have his bed sprayed due to bed bugs.
My son is massively overweight, he eats a lot of food during the day, large adult size portions of food most of which are takeaways. He has sent me photos of his dinners in the past. He gets bullied in school regularly due to his size.
We used to have face-to-face contact before Covid. These contacts would have his father watching and listening over us and any time my son started to mention anything regarding his home or his normal day-to-day routine his father would interrupt, quickly changing the subject.
There is so much more I can add but want to keep this short.
I have raised concerns with my son's school but they don't seem overly worried despite my son regularly coming in unkept, untidy, etc. I raised concerns as my son spent a period of time having showers at school due to father not getting the boiler fixed at the house for some time.
I have tried contacting the local authority, but again it seems no one is too interested. My son is obviously known to the authorities due to previous involvement. There have been numerous reports on the condition of the house during the assessments which claim it to be unclean and unhygenic.
I'm wondering where I should go from here? If anyone could advise. Part of me wants to rush down there bash on the door and retrieve my son as clearly no one else appears to be interested. I'm concerned about my son's well-being not just physically but mentally. With children's services own guidelines not meeting a child's basic care needs is neglect.
*My son does not live with me due to me being involved in a previous toxic relationship, he was removed along with his older sibling. I was given my older son back, once I had made changes and got help*