Sgo

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Happyj
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2021 10:32 am

Sgo

Post by Happyj » Wed Jun 30, 2021 2:02 pm

Hello, so I was accused of biting my son (I had braces, there was no braces mark) then I had my daughter a few months later which then she got taken off me two, they both was placed under an sgo with my mum. This all started 3 years ago and court ended almost 2 years ago, I’m going for a c100 with my mum as I only get 4 hours a month (I have asked for more but she won’t) I’ve been in a relationship for over a year and we have spoken about have a child, however I’m anxious that what happened with my daughter (I got 4 days in hospital with her before she was taken) will happen again. I don’t think I would make it through that happening again. I’ve tried to get an adult soical worker to help but no luck. I am also on the children barred list as I failed to protect my son, the only way off is either getting my kids back or showing I can save guard with having another. I honestly don’t know what to do! Please help! I missed everything in my kids lives and trying to work something else. I would love to have another (my ex who I think done it, who also raped me, still going through the police stage 3 years later is having another) advice?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 3460
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Sgo

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Jul 15, 2021 11:46 am

Dear HappyJ

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am FRG’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties your family has experienced. I am also very sorry to hear that you have been a victim of a sexual offence; you can find support services here.

You are separated from your two children who live with your mother under a Special Guardianship Order. You are going back to court to ask them to consider increasing the contact that you have with your children as you would like more time with them than the 4 hours a month your mother is currently allowing. Here is our advice on special guardianship for birth parents which gives some tips on contact arrangements . You can get private law advice from Child Law Advice too.

Your main concern though is that you would dearly love to have another child, with your new partner, but are understandably very worried about whether you would be able to keep the baby. I can see how distressing it was when your baby daughter was removed from you shortly after her birth. You are being very responsible by thinking things through and not rushing into a pregnancy. I can understand that this is a very difficult decision.

Unfortunately, I cannot tell you what will happen. But here are a few things to think about and to consider doing:

• Review the court papers from your children’s case including a transcript of the judgment if possible focusing on what recommendations were made
• You indicate that you think your ex-partner was responsible for harming your son – what did the court find?
• You could go back to your previous solicitor to ask their advice on what they would expect to happen if you have another baby.
• Check if there is a Pause or similar service in your area and if you are interested in the support they offer, you could get in touch.
• Consider if your partner has any history or needs that would mean he could pose a risk to you/a future baby?
• Explore parenting support programmes in your area.

Be aware that if you do become pregnant you will have a pre-birth assessment.You should be fully prepared to work with children’s services and the midwifery service.

Here is an explanation of good practice in pre-birth assessments and a FAQ about pre-birth assessments when you have had a previous child/ren removed.

I hope that this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie

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