Care Proceedings

[LPTH8]

Please can someone advise me. Its a complicated case but earlier this year all my 4 children were put under ICO in my care. Allegations against paternal grandfather and father. I left him due to concerns and now SS say I didn;t safeguard them, they don't even believe me when abuse has taken place as police investigation was no further action. SS say I have emotionally put this into children's heads. I am so worried of the final outcome. They believe my estranged husband over me. Now findings of fact are due to take place in few months with their primary case against me and secondary case against father. Father has lied where as I have been consistent. I feel persecuted, not only do I have to deal with the domesitc abuse which took place and they don't believe me, but the fact my children have been abused my paternal g/father and possibly father. He has lied to cover his tracks. The children have remained in my care with visits taking place with father every 10 days. Children's behaviour is better at school and home. They sleep better. They have supervised contact with dad twice a week. He plays the victim and really makes an effort for the two hours weekly. He slags me off during meetings and calls me a liar. I feel defenceless and not believed. Will the judge see through him. I really feel SS are blaming me as its easier than saying they failed to protect the children themselves. Alleged perpatrators are both in high powered jobs and have contacts within SS and police. This I feel has impacted upon me. My chidren are aged 5, 6 , twins aged 9 and 14 year old. What is the possibility of removing my children from my care. I have done everything to protect them. They blame my mental health. I am saner now than ever since leaving father. I get them to school on time, work part-time and run the house.

PLease advise me ASAP - I am desperate for answers!!!!

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear LPTH8

Welcome to the parents discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am FRG’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you and your family are experiencing.

You are caring for your children under an interim care order at the moment. The fact that the children have remained in your care indicates that there was no immediate concern for their safety which required them to be removed from you.

There is to be a fact finding hearing in a few months; you are very worried about what the final decision will be in your children’s case. It is understandable that you are seeking clarification about what might happen. Unfortunately, we cannot predict the outcome of the court process. Your solicitor, however, will be better placed to advise on what to expect and what you can do in the meantime. You may want to arrange an appointment with your solicitor to discuss the case. These tips on working with your solicitor may help. They should also be able to help you consider and respond to the concerns children’s services have raised.

I am sorry that you feel disbelieved about a number of significant issues including your experience of domestic violence. You could contact a specialist domestic violence service to try to get an advocate to assist you. Here is a link to domestic violence services. You should not be subjected to name-calling during meetings – the Chair of any meeting should manage it safely for all. Let them know that this has been happening and ask them to put safeguards in place such as ‘split’ meetings to prevent this.

There has been a police investigation into allegations against your children’s father and paternal grandfather but this resulted in no further action. You are concerned that their status plays a part in how they are viewed. It is best to get advice on this from your solicitor, too.

There are positives as from what you say, the children are doing well in your care with better behaviour both at home and school and improvement in their sleep routines. This is good to hear. If there are some concerns around your mental health the best thing is to make sure that you have access to the right support and medical advice and that you take the best care you can of your emotional wellbeing .

Here is an explanation of how the family court makes decisions for children which may be useful to read.

I hope this helps a little.


Best wishes

Suzie

[LPTH8]

Please can someone advise me. Its a complicated case but earlier this year all my 4 children were put under ICO in my care. Allegations against paternal grandfather and father. I left him due to concerns and now SS say I didn;t safeguard them, they don't even believe me when abuse has taken place as police investigation was no further action. SS say I have emotionally put this into children's heads. I am so worried of the final outcome. They believe my estranged husband over me. Now findings of fact are due to take place in few months with their primary case against me and secondary case against father. Father has lied where as I have been consistent. I feel persecuted, not only do I have to deal with the domesitc abuse which took place and they don't believe me, but the fact my children have been abused my paternal g/father and possibly father. He has lied to cover his tracks. The children have remained in my care with visits taking place with father every 10 days. Children's behaviour is better at school and home. They sleep better. They have supervised contact with dad twice a week. He plays the victim and really makes an effort for the two hours weekly. He slags me off during meetings and calls me a liar. I feel defenceless and not believed. Will the judge see through him. I really feel SS are blaming me as its easier than saying they failed to protect the children themselves. Alleged perpatrators are both in high powered jobs and have contacts within SS and police. This I feel has impacted upon me. My chidren are aged 5, 6 , twins aged 9 and 14 year old. What is the possibility of removing my children from my care. I have done everything to protect them. They blame my mental health. I am saner now than ever since leaving father. I get them to school on time, work part-time and run the house.

PLease advise me ASAP - I am desperate for answers!!!!

Thank you for your reply Suzie. THat is very helpful. I am hoping the truth will come out. I have no experience of this process and I have told the truth throughout.