Help for my Niece after sister has died

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Joined: Sun Jun 06, 2021 8:27 am

Help for my Niece after sister has died

Post by Tpo » Tue Jun 08, 2021 10:28 am


I am not sure where I start so thought I would try here first.

My sister died back in August, and all her children have now gone to live with their dads (all have different dads).

My middle Niece's is 14 and her dad is an alcoholic and tends to slip back into drinking even though he promises not to.

I am worried that this is affecting my nieces mental health as he was recently was in ICU and nearly died.

He said he wouldn't drink again but when she was over staying with me this weekend he was back drinking. Usually this turns into a bender however, this time it didn't....

He has been in to multiple rehabs (which his dad has paid for) but now his dad has washed his hands of him, and his mum just died of covid.

I really don't know how to get her the help she needs, I don't believe he would hurt her but its what he is doing to her mentally that worries me but also he also needs help.
She is at a really vulnerable time in her life, and I dont want her to not have the support that she needs.

Can you please help?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 3265
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Help for my Niece after sister has died

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Jun 09, 2021 5:50 pm

Dear Tpo,

Welcome to the parents’ board and thank you for your post.

You say in your post that your sadly passed away in August, and that her children are now living with their respective fathers. Your 14 year old niece is living with her father, who is alcohol dependant. You are worried about your niece’s welfare and mental health as a result of his alcohol consumption, and would like to know how you can get her the support she needs.

You do not say in your post whether your niece is currently known to children’s services. The first step would be to notify your local children’s services department that you have concerns for your niece, and to request a children and families assessment. You can read more about referrals to children’s services, what children’s services duties are to safeguard children, and what an assessment looks like here. You may also find it helpful to speak to your niece’s school about your concerns, who can also do a referral.

If children’s services open an assessment, they will look at your niece’s current situation, including any strengths that exist within the family and any risk she may be at. There are several outcomes that can arise from an assessment, including no further action, a referral to early help or a recommendation for a child in need plan. This would provide the basis for your niece and her father to access the support they may need. You can read more about a child in need plans here.

If, at any time, children’s services become concerned that your niece has suffered significant harm or is at risk of this, they may initiate child protection enquiries, which could lead to your niece being supported on a child protection plan. You can read more about this here.

I hope you have this helpful.

Best wishes,


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